View source

[[Image:Top_creative_oranges_on_the_web.jpg|thumb|right|A typical source image.]]

[[Image:Top_creative_teeth_on_the_web.jpg|thumb|right|The other typical source image.]]

This is "[[unwarranted self-importance|the top creative competition and photoshop contest site on the web]]" &mdash; in other words, very likely, the most colossal waste of man-hours since the [[erection]] of the pyramids.

==Content==
Random complaints about Worth 1000's general fag level can be emailed to CEO Dave Adams at his private email address: p.grayburn@gmail.com

Of course, there are many, many ways to waste our precious [[time]] on the [[Internets]]. But [[porn|most of them]] don't require any particular [[skill]]. Consider, on the other hand, how long it took some [[basement dweller]] to figure out how to [[photoshop]] [http://www.worth1000.com/emailthis.asp?entry=299336 a lightbulb that's also an orange]. Or [http://www.worth1000.com/emailthis.asp?entry=129382 a lightbulb that's also an egg]. Or [http://www.worth1000.com/emailthis.asp?entry=33088 oranges that are also lightbulbs]. Or [http://www.worth1000.com/emailthis.asp?entry=15972 pancakes with teeth]. Or [http://www.worth1000.com/emailthis.asp?entry=86573 a lemon with teeth]. Or [http://www.worth1000.com/emailthis.asp?entry=151450 a pear with teeth]. Or [http://www.worth1000.com/emailthis.asp?entry=237081 teeth with teeth]. Or [http://www.worth1000.com/emailthis.asp?entry=71796 a flower with barely perceptible teeth] ("Creator Comments: Many hours of work on this one"). Or any one of
[[at least 100]] frogs with teeth.[http://www.worth1000.com/emailthis.asp?entry=29213][http://www.worth1000.com/emailthis.asp?entry=204723][http://www.worth1000.com/emailthis.asp?entry=223087][http://www.worth1000.com/emailthis.asp?entry=223013][http://www.worth1000.com/emailthis.asp?entry=222646][http://www.worth1000.com/emailthis.asp?entry=223029][http://www.worth1000.com/emailthis.asp?entry=223094][http://www.worth1000.com/emailthis.asp?entry=222953] Well, you get the idea. They supposedly disqualify [[image]]s that contain "clichés," but what that actually means is just that no in-jokes or recurrent pop-culture [[old meme]]s of the type that occasionally make [[YTMND]] mildly amusing will ever be allowed to get off the ground. It ''doesn't'' mean that every other image can't be yet another idiotic variation the theme of fruit, lightbulbs, and teeth, entered into a contest called something like "Lightbulbs Everywhere!  3" or "Fruit with Teeth! 15."

[[Image:Fatbrotney.jpg|thumb|left|An amazing photoshop job that makes it look like Britney Spears is old and fat. Wait, [[All your base are belong to us|what that you say]]?  [[Oh noes]]!]]

<strike>Another</strike> The other popular theme is [[celebrities]]. For example: look, it's [[Angelina Jolie]], or [[whatever]], only, [[omg]], she's, [[liek]], ''[[old]]''!!!1!11 Or [[fat]]. Or a [[zombie]]. Or a [[cyborg]]. Or a [[pirate]]. Or a [[lemon party|lemon with teeth]]. This theme is particularly annoying because all celebrities look the same, because they are all [[old media]] [[shit nobody cares about|pieces of crap that nobody cares about]], and because there are no [[n00dz]] at all (see below).

Oh, and, did I mention? There is also what amounts to [http://www.worth1000.com/galleries.asp?rel=Bestiality&display=photoshop&id=10786 an extensive series of furry galleries]. [[Yiff|Yippee]]!

==SFW :(==

The entire site is [[hell]]ishly [[work_safe|SFW]]. In fact, even the word "hell" is caught by the filtering software and (in [[fail|an apparent attempt at humor]]) automatically changed to "[[New Jersey]]."  Occasionally there are special [[NSFW]] contests.  This means that, if you can get up the courage to click through the intimidating warning message, you might, if you're lucky, see a [[boob]]. With teeth. That's also a lightbulb. You will never, ever see a contest called "[[Goatse]] Everywhere! 4" or "Celebrity [[Bukkake]] 8."

==Structure==

Just as the original pyramids were built by [[Jews]], so, too, Worth 1000 is all run (with an iron fist) by some Jew from [[New York]] whose [[IRL name]] is embarrassingly close to "[[fellatio|Munch-dick]],"[http://www.worth1000.com/faq.asp#10] and who, on the site, goes by the if possible even more embarrassing name of [[masturbation|JaxomLOTUS]]. This being an Intrawebs thingy, however, there is naturally also some kind of [[TL;DR|extremely complicated]] bureaucratic system involving "admins," "moderators," "jurors," "credits," "sponsors," and [[God]] only knows what else. The administrative structure of the original pyramid-building operation was probably a lot simpler.

Anyway, the end result of all this crap is a bunch of pictures which are entered into contests. (There are also [[TL;DR|various other kinds of contests]].) Registered users can comment on them and read each others comments, and they also vote on them (again, in some overly complicated way). Finally, there are also [[forum]]s where users give each other advice and discuss [http://www.worth1000.com/stories/thread.asp?cid=30&eid=302300 other important photoshop-related topics].

This sounds like a perfect recipe for [[drama]], you might say. '''A''' votes down '''B''''s brilliant fruit/lightbulb/teeth creation, thereby reducing '''B''''s "credits" or [[raping]] '''B''''s "sponsor" or whatever; '''B''' retaliates by making nasty comments about '''A''''s cyborg-pirate Arnold Schwarzenegger; '''A''' posts scandalous details of '''B''''s personal life to a forum &mdash; and we're off! But, alas, matters are not so simple.



==Drama?==

In its current incarnation, this site not only lacks teh [[lulz]], but actually declares war on them. From their [[FAQ]]:

<blockquote>
; What is the general atmosphere here like?
: We're a friendly, yet competitive bunch. For new people this is an atmosphere of learning. You will find some incredible talent here and would be surprised how quickly they will offer tips.
: The learning and fun come first.
: The competition and winning come second. As such we strongly frown on negative comments on other peoples' entries, and we do not permit drama of any kind. We prefer a calm, relaxing atmosphere to compete and have fun in.

[...]

;What is inappropriate behavior in the forums?
: You will find Worth's forums to be slightly different than many online communities. '''No drama whatsoever will be tolerated.''' [...]
: Please note that database space isn't cheap and isn't infinite. While we encourage you to voice your opinions, note that we're hypersensitive to people deliberately posting comments that are wasteful or have the potential to start a flame war, which is possibly the most blatant waste of space there is.
</blockquote>

It sounds like the forums must be stored on a 5 1/4 inch floppy disk or something (which is odd considering that, elsewhere on the site, they have enough space for [[at least 100|tens of thousands]] of huge image files).

In any case, a little half-assed [[research]] reveals that this virulently [[anti-semitism|anti-lulz]] attitude has been growing worse with time. For example, [http://www.worth1000.com/faq.asp#83 a list of so-called "Worthisms"] includes this friendly, calm and relaxing entry:

<blockquote> '''CREME DE LA CRAP''' - The area on the site where all the really crappy pictures used to get moved by moderators. This no longer exists.  </blockquote>

[[Image:Gay_status.jpg|thumb|right|This is responsible for the highest [[over 9000| gay]]ness reading ever detected at Los Alamos National Laboratory.]]

Perhaps the most bizarre manifestation of this tendency is the "user status" displayed with people's comments on the forums. At one time this was a number indicating the user's overall rank on the site. But, because that was too competitive and [[whambulance|might make someone feel bad]], it was replaced by a new user status system which is the absolute [[gay]]est thing known to science (see [[screencap]]).

Today the place really is pretty [[unfunny|tame]]. Even the shittiest entries get mostly positive comments, and the few critical comments are insufferably constructive, typically along the lines of, "Hey, great job, but [[OCD|you missed five red pixels in the upper left hand corner]], next time try using the [[magic]] [[tubgirl|liquefy]] [[TL;DR|blah blah]] [[whatever]] [[penis|tool]]."

Nevertheless it would not be impossible to [[troll]] this site. It has been done successfully at least once[http://www.worth1000.com/stories/thread.asp?cid=30&eid=37914&page=7#732464] (under somewhat special circumstances, however: see below).

==Areas for Further Research==

In the past there has been some hostility between Worth 1000 and other sites. Well, [[Ebaumsworld]], obviously.[http://www.worth1000.com/stories/thread.asp?cid=30&eid=302933] Beyond that: the aforementioned troll appeared during a tournament between Worth 1000 and [[Something Awful]]. That seems to have been mostly friendly, however. On the other hand, there are dark hints about a past war with photoshopcontest.com. The details are shrouded in mystery, except that, allegedly, some of the PSC people [[almost raped|threatened]] JaxomLOTUS's wife.[http://www.worth1000.com/stories/thread.asp?cid=30&eid=38234&page=2#734121]

==External Links==

*[http://www.worth1000.com Worthless]

*[http://www.state.nj.us A related site]


[[Category:Sites]]