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[[Image:Sep11.gif|thumb|Let's play some ''Tetris'', motherfucker!]]

'''''Tetris''''' is a simple game developed by [[communist]]s in which the player arranges blocks with the goal of scoring points.  Unlike similar [[IRL]] games played by infants, it is absolutely pointless.

In Soviet Russia, ''Tetris'' plays you!!!!!

== Why does Tetris [[own]]? ==
You might as well ask "Why do people love Apple Jacks if they don't taste like apples?" They just do.

== How to play ==
[[Image:Tetris.jpg|thumb|At least he has an excuse.]]

Spin the blocks to form horizontal lines, [[idiot|dumbass]].

Also, in some of the newer versions, keep [[Meatspin|spinning]] the block forever so it will never touch down. Execute this maneuver effectively to spend your entire life playing this stupid game.

== Tetris as a threat to your capitalist society ==

As [[you]] may or may not have noticed, ''Tetris'' is Russian. Furthermore, we all know that Russians are all actually [[communist]]s trying to take over the world. ''Tetris'' was clearly part of the commie Russian plot to screw the minds of decadent westerners. 

== Versions ==
[[Image:tetrisboxart.jpg|thumb|left|Another Soviet Challenge, along with the Cuban Missle Crisis.]]
=== Tetris for Computer ===
The one that started it all. It was crapped out over a session of Twinkies and [[meth]] by Russian [[nerd|supernerd]] Alexei Pajitnov. Russia didn't recognize the Berne Copyright Convention at the time, so [[Capitalist|Kapitalist]] Korporations quickly seized upon its addictive quality, [[GTA|stole it]] and marketed it to [[dumbfuck|dumbfucks]] as a kind of "brain game".

''Tetris'' has been [[rape|gangraped]] by more publishers on more systems than any game in history . Here are some of the more notable violations:

=== Ræp ===

==== Atari Tetris ====
Atari was the first [[Capitalist|Kapitalist]] Korporation to recognize the potential of [[steal]]ing Tetris and stuck it in arcades all over the world. Atari Tetris was followed by Tetris for every 8-bit machine.

==== Tetris for Unix/X-Windows ====
A generation of [[computer science|CS 101]] PhD candidates wasted enough energy on the [[Unix]] version to power [[NYC|Jew York City]] for at least a year. 

==== Tetris for Nintendo Famicon ====
This was published by [[Nintendo]] and [[suck]]ed [[balls]]. More interesting than the game itself was the [[drama]] [[IRL]] between [[Nintendo]] and Tengen, which determined who would get the chance to piss all over the stolen ''Tetris'' franchise. Tengen released their own version, but copies are rare and costs seventyleven kabillion dollars.

==== Tetris for Nintendo Game Boy ====
[[Image:tetrisyaoi.jpg|thumb|Not even ''Tetris'' can resist Rule 34.]]
''Tetris'' for Game Boy was all that and a pack of smokes. It made Game Boy a household name on the level of shower curtain mildew and Magic Johnson's [[AIDS]]. However, it only sold a few copies worldwide.

==== Tetris Attack ====
Once upon a time, Nintendo made a variant puzzle game that had no chance of selling on its own merits, so they crammed Yoshi into it and called it ''Tetris''. Totally uncool, [[Nintendo]]. This became more obvious when they later re-released the game as Pokemon Puzzle League, crammed to the gills with [[Mudkips]]. Like the only good episode of the TV show, this game can cause multiple [[seizure]]s.

==== Tetris the Grand Master ====
[[Image:Too_Much_Tetris.jpg|thumb|A screenshot of the unreleased ''Tetris Extreme''.]]

The latest iterations at arcades, [[batshit insane|insanely]] fast to drive the serious [[gamer]] into serious road [[rage]]. Play at your own risk. The publishers had the gall to stop independent versions after all the royalty-free millions made off Tetris. If you have a [[Nintendo DS|DS]], you might still be able to track one down. 

'''[[GTFO]]'''
<center><youtube>jwC544Z37qo</youtube></center>

== Theme music ==

The theme music [[own|owns]] too. There is a video of some dude playing it on piano {{youtube|kLUzCcMR97k|here}}

There is also a [[ska]] rendition by some [[niggers]] and a [[metal]] rendition by some [[Fag|effeminate and pasty metal musicians]].

=== How to Play the Tetris Theme on the Piano ===

<youtube>3dHE4gkTl5U</youtube>

=== Human Tetris ===

<youtube>G0LtUX_6IXY</youtube>

Japanese Version
<youtube>Ll2kajMH2u0</youtube>

== Victims ==

[[Image:tetrisplaysyou.jpg|thumb|[[Unfunny]] ''[[Family Guy]]'' [[meme]].]]

=== Victim on Youtube ===

<youtube>QMKTdrQqpNk</youtube>

===People whom Tetris plays===

* [[jesuitx]]
* [[tatu|Russian Whores]]
* [[user:Bombuzal|Bombuzal]]
* Nate Sanford

===People who Play Tetris===

* [[Stalin|Current Czar of Russia]]
* [[Azn|Azns]]

==Gallery==

<gallery>
Image:Tetris cosplay.jpg
Image:Tetrisfuck.jpg
Image:Ltetris.jpg
</gallery>

{{Gaming}}

[[Category:Gaming]]