Check out WP80. 100% SFW all the time! Want to help protect free speech? Donate today.
Glenn Beck Raped And Murdered A Young Girl In 1990
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
(→The 1990 rape accusations) |
(→The 1990 rape accusations) |
||
| Line 159: | Line 159: | ||
Image:Glennbeckraep2.jpg| Beck admitting to the rape. | Image:Glennbeckraep2.jpg| Beck admitting to the rape. | ||
Image:Raepchange.png| Rape, we can believe in. | Image:Raepchange.png| Rape, we can believe in. | ||
| + | Image:Raepgraph.png| SCIENCE! Weighs in - Beck projected to rape even MORE next year. | ||
Image:1990project.png| The 19/90 Project - Get the info out! | Image:1990project.png| The 19/90 Project - Get the info out! | ||
</gallery> | </gallery> | ||
Revision as of 21:44, 1 September 2009
Glenn Beck, despite being the most ignorant, self-inflated man in America, is the television host of a show on Faux News he named after himself, where he can be seen every night erupting into the most repulsively stupid nonsense allowed on network television that (supposedly) involves politics.
Because of his homosexual obsession with Papa Bear O'Reilly, Glenn Beck frequently appears on the latter's show to rant and rave incoherently for the unintentional amusement of millions of viewers, never guessing his idol and one true love O'Reilly is a sadist who just loves it when Glenn makes a total ass out of himself to boost The O'Reilly Factor's ratings.
Once thought to be merely masquerading as a Libertarian, it eventually became increasingly that he is instead a glorified Anarchist, as all he ever does is bitch about government and rave about statism, often flying into epic fits of megalomaniacal premenstrual failure that would make even Inmendham blush. None of his opinions make even the slightest shred of sense or even come across as anything other than Moonspeak, although he (like so many other failures at life) has a legion of fangirls, mostly Catholic, who hang on his every unintelligible word.
Glenn is a professional troll, as is everyone on every cable news station, and while this means he should be generating lulz by pwning others, he more frequently pwns himself, as on his February 28, 2007 show, when he came on to US Weekly's Dina Sansing during their discussion about nude photos of some American Idol cuntface. He has accused the USA's first elected Muslim Congressman, Keith Ellison, of being an Al Qaeda operative simply because he is Muslim, and once called Rosie O'Donnell a "fat witch". Although true, both of these statements were still uncalled for because they originated from such a moronic jackass.
Even exponentially more lulzy was his recent attempt to seem like he has actual feelings by crying on the air when speaking of how much he loves his country, which some have said was just an act, although Stephen Colbert insists it was real, because someone on cable news has to recognize just what an idiotic boob Glenn Beck really is.
Contents |
Typical Beck
| —Glenn Beck |
| —Glenn Beck, calling out the INTERNET HATE MACHINE |
Choice Quotes
Glenn Beck is positively chock full of weird, wacky, and just plain god-fucking-awful soundbytes he's spouted over the years. Here's a sampling:
| —Glenn Beck's personal slogan. |
| —Stating the obvious in the worst way possible, August 15th, 2005. |
| —Intelligently discussing carbon emissions. |
| —Beating out every stupid thing he has ever said in his own pathetic life. |
| —Every single show, without fail. |
Glenn Beck's Life So Far
The great tragedy of Glenn Beck's life (and even more so of ours) is that his mother killed herself after giving birth to him instead of before. Legend has it that he drove her to consume entire bottles of pills just by talking to her at the dinner table one night.
Following this delicious swig of human tragedy, Glenn became a shit-faced drunk and a serial fondler of fat women, admitting later that he did this because the fat women reminded him of his mother, whom he'd always wanted to have meaty, sweaty sex with. Mama Beck had been morbidly obese as a result of all of the heavy drinking and compulsive eating she had done three years after giving birth to Glenn when he first began to speak and she realized what a raging asshole had come out of her pussy.
After years of drinking and fondling and crying like a bleeding vagina, and a brief period in the 80's where he got heavily into cocaine and underage Arab boywhores, he finally found Jesus, who appeared to him in the form of Ronald Reagan, offering Glenn his own radio show in exchange for his first-born child and two hours of analingus every Sunday. Little did Glenn know that Reagen also was a rapist had 10 sessions a day of BDSM with Beck's daughter, causing her cerebral palsy.
And we will never forget that Glenn Beck raped and murdered a girl in 1990.
Glenn often claims to be Mormon, but this is only because he wants a life of polygamy, incest and underage poontang. He consistently maintains all people from Africa (including American black people) lack souls and go straight to Hell when they die, as all Mormons do. Occasionally he still trolls for boycock on the Internet, even though this often causes the ghost of Reagan to become insanely jealous to the point where he sometimes "forgets" to wipe his ass before "church".
People Who Like Glenn Beck
Besides being far and few between, people who like Beck are often very much just like him. They often masquerade as people who seem to know what they're talking about, when in fact they have no idea what the hell is going on.
| —Some Woman, On the only good idea Beck has ever had. |
Novel idea Beck. But if people did that, they would "check the facts" on your show and realize... Oh shit, there aren't any.
Beck VS Ron Paul: Clash of the Morons
On November 12th, 2007, Glenn Beck implied that any person who supports Ron Paul is a terrorist -- even though Ron Paul is not a terrorist, merely a failure, and the shortest man ever born in Texas. The real amusement comes from the fact that these are probably now the two most popular Anarchists in America, and they obviously hate each other, as each is so helplessly wrapped up in his own ego that he cannot even see that he is pissing on his own party. Even more outrageous is the fact that they are both secretly Jews and therefore responsible for 9/11, the derangement of modern media and the current economic crisis, which is really just an attempt to deflate all the world's currency and thereby increase the value of the precious Jew Gold.
The 9-12 Project
What Beck considers his greatest achievement (that is to say, his greatest failure), is his "9-12 Project", which is supposed to bring back the feelings that "we all had" the day after 9/11, the greatest made-for-TV-movie of all time. According to Beck, on 9-12, everything was totally groovy, and we should all get back to that day when we actually gave a shit for once.
Beck claims that this grooviness consists of 9 principles and 12 values that we all allegedly shared the day after 9/11. [1]
The key word here being allegedly.
The 9 Principles
1. America is the HBIC or Head Bitch In Charge.
2. Ronald Reagan is the one true God, and his sphincter tastes like marzipan.
3. It is hard not to be more honest tomorrow when you lied so much yesterday.
4. Moms should be fat and kill themselves.
5. Niggers are rowdy, hate working, and will always steal from you.
6. Obama is a rowdy nigger who wants to steal from you.
7. All taxes are just rowdy nigger shenanigans.
8. It is un-American to give your money away to rowdy welfare niggers.
9. The government doesnt pwn me, I pwn myself!
The 12 Values
1. Analingus
2. Propaganda
3. Killing mom
4. Ranting
5. Raving
6. Crying
7. Faux News
8. Fondling
9. Fail
10. Butthurt
11. Tantrums
12. Jiveass Baloney
The main rhetorical device employed in convincing us of this program for a more corporate, dope-addled and gun crazy America is crying like a big pussy, or at least seeming to.
Glenn Beck: Ja Tvoi Rabotnik?
Though he often seems to exhibit what humans generally term "emotions" there is a chance that he may be a golem, or killer Jewish battlebot, whose true motivations are known only to the Jews, a crafty and secretive people who pretend to be ineffectual neurotics only so that they will be underestimated by the rest of the world. Why anyone would engineer a salad-tossing, child-molesting cretin is anybody's guess, but the Jews are a very sneaky and intelligent species, and nothing is beyond them. If they can convince the world that the Holocaust actually happened, they could certainly have made Glenn Beck in one of their many secret labs.
Get Off My Phone
Maybe Glenn knews who "phone" was after all.
The 1990 rape accusations
Recent information has surfaced that has linked Beck to a string of rape-murders back in 1990. The controversial talkhost would not comment on the accusations that he raped and murdered a little girl in 1990 while consuming alcohol and cocaine in great amounts. It was demanded Beck release his sealed criminal record, but has since failed to do so.
In light of these accusations, the 19/90 project was born, determined to get the info out and get Glenn Beck to release his sealed criminal record.
Here's what you do, politfags:
1.) Post he info FUCKING EVERYWHERE! 2.) Set links to other sites (so google can index it) 3.)??? 4.)Profit
Go youtube on his ass:
Step 1: Download this vid http://rapidshare.com/files/273665044/glennbeckisdead.m4v
Step 2: Post on YouTube, naming it Glenn Beck - In loving Memory
Step 3: ?
Step 4: Break even.
also join: http://glennbeckrapedandmurderedayounggirlin1990.com/
 He IS gonna rape you. |
 Beck admitting to the rape. |
 Rape, we can believe in. |
 SCIENCE! Weighs in - Beck projected to rape even MORE next year. |
 The 19/90 Project - Get the info out! |
Not all incest is wincest!
A dramatic reenactment of Beck's memoirs, "The Real America." (Moar liek "The Real Australia" amirite?)
Resources
Gallery of a Madman
 Glenn Beck now calls himself Comrade and is infatuated by old school Bolshevism after his psychiatrist tryied a new combination of pills for his ADHD. |
 Glenn Beck fails at everything. |
 Conservatives gearing up to tackle the Obama crisis. |
 Der Scheiße Führer. |
See Also
 | Glenn Beck Raped And Murdered A Young Girl In 1990 is part of a series on Fox News
|  | ||||||
| ||||||||
