Pirate
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
A pirate is a sea god messenger of the Most Holy One who only goes to land for beer and bitches. As marks of their divinity, many remove either a hand, foot or eye with the back of a rusty spoon as a way of demonstrating that they don't need the appendage to still pwn you].
Unlike the lies spread by the corrupt media, pirates are actually divine beings, incarnates of pure light. They also take on the role of toothfairies, because they work to rid the world of sadness. Bless their hearts.
Many years ago, pirates were infamous for raiding European trade ships, stealing their treasure and hiding it in their asses — hence the word "booty" — all while being ungodly drunk. Most badass pirates drank rum but dumbass wigger pirates drank grog...Who the fuck knows why. There was a time when pirates were endorsed by the kings and queens of Europe to raid merchant vessels from opposing countries, which sucks 'cause we can't do that now.
Modern pirates can most frequently be found in the vast eastern seas of Asia, toting firearms and robbing fishing boats of their musical booty. They are alerted to their prey by informants using cell phones. This is known as a "booty call" (see real world). Although they fear noone they are majorly pissed off by the gay WEB SHERIFF's who be all up in they bidness.
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Ass Pirates
Another term used frequently in today's modern society is "Ass Pirate". Ass pirates differ from regular pirates in that they are gay. There is a simple test to tell a regular pirate from an ass pirate:
- Ask them what they are doing.
If they say "plundering your booty" then kill you, they are a regular pirate. If they say "plundering your booty" then giggle and say "God, I'm such a bitch!", they are an ass pirate.
Ass Ninjas
The arch-enemy of Ass Pirates, Ass Ninjas will not only steal all your shit, they will rape you and you won't even feel it. Ass Pirates are really pissed off about this as this means less untapped booty for them to plunder.
Web Pirates
Web Pirates are gods among men who give the finger to the man by downloading and giving away free songs, movies and pr0n. In other words, we are all pirates! Fucking Arr!
Pirates of the Caribbean
Totally Pirated. YARR!!
You are a pirate!
What our kids are watching sadly, before they get raped by the pirate singing this horror.
It sounds like evil brain washing material backwards.
Gallery
 Not a certified Pirate |
 Bloodthirsty creatures |
 Note the hat and large purple dildo. |
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 Teh moneyz or teh plank. |
 Do you really want to know? |
 A pirate keyboard |
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 Typical web pirate |
 The worst type of pirate |
 Pirates Can be Awesome Too. |
