Philosophy
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Philosophy is, in short, the study of the acquisition of knowledge. People with no common sense or goals do it to make up a meaning for their life. Since the birth of web 2.0, books have become stupid and useless - with the internet becoming the only way to obtain or share knowledge. Web 2.0 has given many thinkers a YouTube from which they can spread their philosophical theories. The close relationship between philosophy and internet exists because everything you know, you read in a wikipedia article.
Despite the fact that most people think philosophy means, "how shit works" (for example, "Bro, my philosophy on life is fuckin deep dude") - it should be noted that this definition is wrong and retarded.
Contents |
Philosophy Cesspools
In the highly unlikely chance anyone would ever actually need a philosopher, there are a few common places where they reside.
College Campuses
Since philosophers can not get real jobs, they all reside within a 10 mile radius of university campuses.
There are a few physical characteristics that all philosophy professors share:
- Beard
- Bottle of Smart Water
- Sandals
- T-Shirt (at work? no wai!)
- The smell of weed
- Ability to rap with the kids.
- Blatent homosexuality
(when in Rome...amirite?!)GREECE, MOTHERFUCKER - Enviornmentally Friendly
- Pretentiousness
- The subtle smell of his soul rotting from the inside out
The same applies to students, though the smell of weed is at least 100 times stronger. A philosophy student's prime method of transportation is bicycle - which both boosts their liberal faggot green points and gets them used to the extreme poverty they will be living in for the rest of their lives.
If you need a good hookup for pot or acid, you can find philosophy students at:
- Hooka Bars
- Fair trade certified coffee shops
- Thrift Stores
- Smoke Shops
- Everywhere except class
Live Journal
Philosophy is a pseudointellectual LiveJournal community that revels in its own stupidity. It is continually plagued by cloned community members asking the repetitive questions expected of braindead potheads.
Existential angst has caused the moderator, apperception, to develop an unusual fear of trolls. The user information contains a lengthy list of rules that include:
Philosophical Quandaries
Despite hopes for drama and lulz, a recent examination of the group found discussion to be insightful and erudite. Recent threads have contained stimulating intellectual debates about important topics that are relevant to current events:
- Quote "I, like Socrates, have never made a claim to wisdom."
- Philosophical Reply: "Don't compare yourself to Socrates. I decided that you were either an idiot or an asshole at that point and stopped reading." (See also Ad hominem)
- Quote "True agnosticism is therefore kept only in one small sphere -- the curious claim that no knowledge, positive, negative, or otherwise, about God is possible at all. This is contradictory. The true agnostic claims to know -- snore, snort, gurgle, snore."
- Philosophical Reply: "I expect better from you. This is sloppy work from beginning to end, and I know you can do much bet-- snort, snore, fart, snore." (See also Basement-dweller)
- Quote "A truly egalitarian society would have to provide more resources to people with more expensive tastes. Wouldn't this make perfectly innocent people with less expensive tastes work harder for others, and thus mad and envious?"
- Philosophical Reply: "Even before I was 5, I hated tunafish (which today I know to be cheap)." (See also Fucktard)
- Quote "Isnt it possible to be completely oppressed and still be entirely happy?"
- Philosophical Reply: "I would say that that's possible only if the oppressed person doesn't know about her state of being oppressed. And if the oppressee doesn't know she's oppressed, is she really completely oppressed?" (See also BDSM)
Spin Offs and Feuds
Anti-Kantians became enraged at the frequent mention of his name in the philosophy community and flounced away to form real_philosophy. There, debates are held at a much more sophisticated level, reaching a level of boredom and triviality so astounding that Stanford University has hailed it as the long-sought universal cure for insomnia.
The most important philosopher, however, is Emmanuelle Cunt [since Yuropean, pronounced 'ymunouel k'anth] whose main oeuvre is given in cinema form. Cunt belongs to the philosophical school of Philistines that advocates realities not seen, touched, or written. His main opponent is Jacques Derrida whose target was to stop thinking and dedicate all energy to writing.
Type of losers who take philosophy
A Typical Entry In Philosophy
Does the espitemological evidence used in Russell's premise of Descartes' phiolsophy of faggotry paint a clear dyalectical picture of the said premise? Sorry if this seems to be too much of a Socratically cockannoying load of bullshit . . . etc. etc. etc.
The rest of the community will pretend to understand what's been said, to avoid looking stupid.
The Tramp knows philosophy
