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{{Eduser}}
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[[Image:ODBisasexybitch.jpg|thumb|Straight up [[chav]]]]
[[Image:Ætattoo3.jpg|thumb|Some people think tats are [[serious business]]. ODB is not one of those people.]]
[[Image:Queen Bicycle Race1.png|thumb|Sorry dude, this isn't ODB's sister. You gotta check the inside of the album for that.]]
[[Image:Happybirthdayodb.jpg|thumb|Fuck [[Armenia]] lol]]
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{{quote|I should like to know which is worse: to be raped a hundred times by negro pirates, and have a buttock cut off, and run the gauntlet of the Bulgars, and be flogged and hanged in an auto-da-fé, and be dissected, and have to row in a galley -in short to undergo all the miseries we have each of us suffered- or simply to sit here and do nothing?|Voltaire}}
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'''OldDirty[[Btard]]''', not to be confused with the [[dead|Wu-tang Clan]] member, is the most dramatic person to ever control the [[banhammer]] for ED. In short, he is the dos equis guy. Among his exploits include being British, having an [[ae]] tattoo, [[LOL WUT|shooting off his own pinky to watch it die]], getting [[alcohol|DUI's]] on consecutive nights, lieking [[Mudkips]], accidentally inventing the word [[EDiot]], being a [[macfag]], having his [[slut|sister naked]] on the [[gay|Queen]] single Bicycle Race, managing the [[Jew|Beastie Boys]], shooting up an [[Armenia]]n's car, corrupting his [[underage]] nephew into becoming an internet troll, having his cat killed by [[scientology|Scientologists]] and almost killing himself over it... all while being drunk and pilled up the entire time.

You might think this is exaggeration and bullshit, but we're not [[Uncyclopedia]]. This is 100% [[fact|TRUFAX]].

==Pre ED==
ODB was an [[irl]] [[troll]] back when ED was but a twinkle in [[Girlvinyl]]'s eye. [http://www.beastiemania.com/whois/carasov_sean/ He used to manage the Beastie Boys] and protect everyone's favorite [[Jew]]s from record company higher-up Jews. 

==Loves==
*[[Mudkips]]
*[[Cat]]s
*[[NYC|New York Yankees]]

==Hates==
*[[Scientology]]
*[[Armenia]]
*[[You]]
*Fucking everything else.




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==The Case For Rational Suicide (abridged)==

ODB is a bitter Socialist who thinks mass suicides would stick it to [[The Man]]. To whit, he wrote this.

In most cases, life is not worth living. The idea that happiness is a raison d'etre logically means that nearly everyone is unhappy (after being born a blank slate). So unhappiness is the norm -the meaning of life- and the quest for happiness is merely a by-product and not our natural condition. Looking for happiness then is not that different than looking for a good drug dealer with good drugs.

99% of human beings serve no real, 'natural' purpose or reason to keep on going through the motions whatsoever. The majority of the world's population is just the means of production by which the few attain "happiness" (altho, I don't know many truly happy rich folk).

Sure most become 'necessary' thanks to manmade things like economies -to make them work- but economies would not be necessary if there were no humans. Pretty much everything we do as humans is built around the notion of perpetuating a species -to the detriment of all others- that has not shown any proof that it deserves a place on this planet as part of the ecosystem.

All the 'good', 'worthwhile' stuff people have done -and continue to do- is only 'good' and 'worthwhile' when put into the context of the human condition/experience. Splitting the atom and curing cancer is pretty useless to every other creature on the planet.

I read a book called "The Sirens of Titan" by Kurt Vonnegut recently and the punchline of the story is that the entire sum of all human knowledge/achievement over thousands of years was little more than a works project by an alien race from another galaxy trying to send a message to one of their own stranded in another galaxy. The message was that they were sending help. 

If only we were actually that useful.







{{EDGov}}









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