MySQL

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

MySQL is built for speed at the expense of getting your database corrupted. Correct usage of MySQL will result in a database error. If you cannot access Encyclopedia Dramatica, you should blame MySQL all the time, even if you don't understand what it is. It will make you look smart. Really (see below for proof).

Correct Usage

Q: Is search working? A: No, it is because of MySQL.

InnoDB

MySQL later updated their system to use InnoDB, which makes their database get corrupted less often (but still much more often as PostgreSQL) but at the expense that it is almost as slow as PostgreSQL. InnoDB also makes the database 100x bigger than it's old form or PostgreSQL.

List of Things To Put in a MySQL Database

• Encyclopedia Dramatica
• IRC quotes
• Cheese
• Small mexican women
• Gay assignments on databasing that spell out a rude word if you use font size 1.
• Pr0n
• Teh internets
• The Universe