Freedom
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Freedom comes in two forms: Old Freedom and Freedom 2.0, the latter often invoked with the mysterious phrase "9/11 NEVAR FOREGET!!!11." Make sure you don't confuse them. Both are a good justification for violence and other lulz.
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Old Freedom
This is the type of freedom where basically you get to do what you want unless it directly fucks somebody over, and that person is not someone whom you legally own. This type of freedom is very dangerous and harmful, as Rick Santorum will gladly explain to you. Through the miracle of progress, the earth has been purged of it, at least in the legal sense. Only libertarians (not to be confused with Liberians) and Europeans talk about it much anymore, which is good because its early supporters like Thomas Jefferson and George Washington were bad men who owned many slaves.
Freedom 2.0
In this type of freedom, popularized by the USA, you have your choice of occupation and useless consumer goods, and some crazies say you have other freedoms but that's based on some inscrutable Illuminati bullshit like the Bill of Rights. I can't fucking understand that shit, can you? It's full of these vague, nebulous phrases like "government shall make no law...restricting the freedom of speech." and "the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed." What about the word fuck? Profanity hadn't been invented back in the 18th century, so this is obviously outdated. And what about advocating overthrowing the government? There's no way Patrick Henry or any of those guys would ever be down with that. It's a good thing we have men like George W. Bush to interpret that crazy gibberish. Important components of freedom 2.0 include asking "Why do you hate America?" and denouncing terrorism and drugs as much as possible, preferrably while supporting and profiting from both as much as possible.
History of Freedom
Both forms of freedom were invented by the United States. Although the socialists responsible for maintaining various European welfare states are trying their best, at present, freedom only exists in the United States.
See Also
- Holocaust denial - If you go to prison for questioning the Holocaust, you're not free
- Guns
External Links
- Freedom Isn't Free (lyrics)
