View source

[[Image:305.JPG|thumb|right|'''ESR''', summoning the satyrs of yore. Please note: this photo is not manipulated in any way; he actually plays his flute in the woods.]]
[[Image:Esr001.jpg|thumb|right|'''ESR''' while coding]]

'''Eric S. Raymond''', (a.k.a '''ESR''') is the author of [[Shit nobody cares about|''The Cathedral and the Bazaar'', the Jargon File, and founder of the Open Source Initiative]]. More importantly, ESR is an (arguably) high profile [[hacker]] who has been accused by [[GPL]] zealots of weakening the [[warez|free software]] movement, and selling out to [[Microsoft]] in order to meet his favorite [[science fiction]] writer. It should be quite obvious to everyone that he and [[Richard Stallman]] do not get along.

In a sense, ESR is the mirror image of Richard Stallman. They're both prone to being uncompromising bigots who smell horribly. However, rather than being a left-wing hippie like Richard Stallman, ESR is a [[gun]]-toting [[libertarian]] with [http://brad.livejournal.com/1903291.html?thread=7278779#t7278779 terrible] [http://brad.livejournal.com/1903291.html?thread=7279035#t7279035 personal hygiene], who also supports the invasion of [[Iraq]]. He is also a [[Wicca]]n. [[Some argue|Researchers believe]] that ESR and Richard Stallman were originally the same entity until [[God]] decided to [[Divide by zero|divide their souls]].

ESR's current quest is to convince everyone that the GPL is not obsolete. Many detect that he is merely [[troll]]ing in an attempt to stay relevant.

In the 1980s, before the Internet, he ran [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eric_Raymond_(Jem) Starlight music and was the manager of a group called The Misfits] (who did not feature Glenn Danzig).

In the five-minute interval between when VA Linux went public and when its share price dropped to zero, Eric Raymond penned [http://www.linuxtoday.com/news_story.php3?ltsn=1999-12-10-001-05-NW-LF Surprised by Wealth], in which he assured his geek no-longer-brethren that (a) being richer than Bill Gates wouldn't change him, and (b) if they were so gauche as to ask him for money, he would never speak to them again. Needless to say, the article was soon a [http://finance.yahoo.com/q/bc?s=LNUX&t=my moot point], but that didn't stop it from being [http://www.trollaxor.com/2001/06/surprised-by-cock.html mercilessly trolled]. Presently, ESR doesn't have a real job but rather [http://esr.ibiblio.org/?p=556#comment-228135 mooches of off his wife].

In 1999, [[Debian]] developer [[Pussy|Bruce Perens]] published [http://lists.debian.org/debian-user/1999/04/msg00623.html an "email threat"] that he [[allegedly]] received from Raymond. Raymond then [http://lists.debian.org/debian-devel/1999/04/msg00205.html "clarified"] that he only meant to defame Perens.

[[Some argue]] that ESR isn't that great a hacker and isn't fit to shine Richard Stallman's shoes. This is easily refuted by the list of tremendously useful free software projects each of them has started:

{|
|-
! Richard Stallman
! Eric Raymond
|-
| Emacs<br/> GCC<br/> GNU debugger<br/> GNU make<br/> Texinfo
| <s>[[Shit nobody cares about|fetchmail]]</s> he didn't actually start that one <br/> wumpus - ''exact clone of the classic Hunt The [[Furries|Wumpus]] game''
|-
|}


==Ugliness==
[[Image:ericraymondugly.jpg|thumb|right|The man on the left can teach you [http://catb.org/~esr/writings/sextips/sexy.html how to be sexy]]]
[[Image:Ericraymond_kiss.jpg|thumb|right|[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0151804/ "Their children would have hooves!"]]]

The exact cause of ESR's unnatural degree of ugliness has yet to be determined by [[scientists]]; however, many have speculated that ESR suffers from [[Retard|Downs Syndrome]], which is absolute bull, considering that ESR has the power of speech and is one of the world's top [[Hacker|h4x0rs]]. Other scientists (mostly astronomers) believe that his ugliness is the result of [[You must have been abused as a child|being beaten to near-death as a small child]] by local bullies for being such a massive nerd. As of 2009, this theory is still unconfirmed.

==Also See==
[[People article]]

==External Links==
*[http://esr.ibiblio.org ESR's blog]
*[http://esr.ibiblio.org/index.php?p=208 Microsoft's recruitment letter attempting to hire ESR, and ESR's flamebait response]
*[http://www.softpanorama.org/OSS/ESR_Interviews.shtml This website document's ESR's bullshit]
*[http://geekz.co.uk/lovesraymond Everybody Loves Eric Raymond (webcomic)]
*[http://web.archive.org/web/20051229023140/http://trollse.cx/ Trollse.cx]

[[Category: People]]