Discordianism
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Invented by a geek and a couple of hippies in the 1950's as a cheap substitute for marijuana, Discordianism is not just a seriously old meme; it is in fact a rather sneaky Illuminati trap designed to look like a religion to some, and like lulz to others. In this manner it seduces the unsuspecting based on their greatest weakness (as inescapably determined by their MBTI letters.)
Like all novelty religions, it is extremely unfunny and most of its adherents are friendless autistic drama club nerds who quote endlessly from Monty Python and Douglas Adams. They think that by endlessly repeating a bunch of 50-year-old in-jokes they can prove how hip and original they are.
Contents |
The Five Commandments (The Pentabarf)
From Principa Discordia[1]:
- KNOW YE THIS O MAN OF FAITH!
- There is no Goddess but Goddess and She is Your Goddess. There is no Erisian Movement but The Erisian Movement and it is The Erisian Movement fnord. And every Golden Apple Corps is the beloved home of a Golden Worm.
- A Discordian Shall Always use the Official Discordian Document Numbering System.
- A Discordian is Required during his early Illumination to Go Off Alone & Partake Joyously of a Hot Dog on a Friday; this Devotive Ceremony to Remonstrate against the popular Paganisms of the Day: of Catholic Christendom (no meat on Friday), of Judaism (no meat of Pork), of Hindic Peoples (no meat of Beef), of Buddhists (no meat of animal), and of Discordians (no Hot Dog Buns).
- A Discordian shall Partake of No Hot Dog Buns, for Such was the Solace of Our Goddess when She was Confronted with The Original Snub.
- A Discordian is Prohibited of Believing what he reads.
Followers
- Fanboys treat the words of their Discordian betters as actual, honest-to-Goddess catma, and go 'round talkin' smack 'bout No Hot Dog Buns (Hail Eris All Hail Discordia,) 23 This, 23 That. They usually do this on the Internets, since if they did it IRL they would immediately be struck senseless by how unfunny they are.
- Dilettantes are able to apply a dose of Hipster Irony to their now tastefully Discord-flavored post-modern worldview, chuckling over what were once worrisome logical contradictions in their thinking and in so doing transforming them into self-effacing badges of coolness. Many join NAMBLA at this point; other, less fortunate ones become liberals.
- Rutabagas, about which nothing fnord needs to be said.
- Robert Anton Wilson. Universally regarded as the Uber-Discordian King. RAW is what all true Discordians aspire to one day reincarnate their sorry asses backward through time into. Once they have died and been reborn as RAW, the Uber-Discordian King's aspiration/fate is, quite naturally, to meet John Titor, travel even further back in time to the Philadelphia Experiment and murder Ayn Rand to test the Grandfather Paradox. On January 11th 2007, RAW failed at life for the last time.
Potential for Drama
Disgruntled or bored Discordians are sometimes known to perform "jakes", which is essentially a form of trolling IRL.
The primary drama quotient among Discordians themselves, though, revolves around the one and only Discordian Sin; that is, Being Bothered. Discordians are required to mock any other Discordian they sense Being Bothered, and to encourage them to "just let it (all) go (permanently)" on the basis that the lack of philosophical underpinnings is a small price to pay for a feeling of self-assurance, or maybe just numbness.
There is probably a Discordian community on LiveJournal, like anyone gives a fuck. Some of those glorious faggots are known to fester inside the sandy vagina known as The PDDotCom Forums
Discordians in Their Natural Habitat
Over 9000 tons of Discordian drivel can also be found on HyperDiscordia, a shit site that is guilty of such epic fail that their front page is fucking broken and can only be accessed via Google cache, and their site map was designed by an utter fucktard.
See Also
