Bible Slash
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Bible Slash is slash about the best selling acadamy award winning book The Bible. The outrages Pokemanic FEMnominon, started when your little sister got bored with slashing Naruto and your family photo album. Then, last Thursday, the new chapter of "The Bible" (which was first shown in Shonen Jump magazine) featured an "accidental kissing scene" between Jesus and Moses. Slowly a wave begin to spread across the vast desert that is the internets, forum wars everywhere... more flaming than that time you got an STD from the homeless free fuck... and slowly Christianity began to crumble.
Contents |
Confirmed Canon Bishie sex couples
(note that Canon is calculated by how many fan fictions the couple has been in, not the actual book)
Jesus/Moses: confirmed in chapter 324 of the bible, and episode 126 of the anime television series. Moses was going to sacrifice himself in a suicide bombing on Fort Knox, but Jesus stopped him by throat kissing him and telling him that he would be his 4evr an evr.
God/Jesus: confirmed in episode 425 when Jesus has a flash back of his "traumatic childhood" and of course that means a hentai scene of him getting pwned up the ass by his daddy.
Satan/God: One of the more controversial pairings, also referred to as "guns and handcuffs" was confirmed in episode 1123 of the anime, and chapter 4 of the manga, when God and Satan got in a huge fight, it was obvious that they were just releasing their sexual feelings for each other, so they are gay.
Me/your mom: This one was confirmed 9 months before your birthday. Also this relationship is considered yaoi because your mom is a fucking man. Man your life must have been messed up growing up with a mom like that. I feel so sorry for you.
Noah/all of the (male) animals: This controversial bestiality relationship was confirmed in episode 44 of the anime and 995 of the comic book, when the ship is sailing around on the ocean of piss, when we hear Noah scream in pleasure then a donkey braying in pain at the same time!
Any male character/ Any male character: This pairing was implied from the beginning, and if u say over wise, den ur a homophobe and need to go die caz u have to be open minded an its a bootiful form of art so go die retard.
Interview with Shiguru Miyomoto (the author of the bible):
The outrage of Christians during this Series of Slashy events has caused an interview with the author. Just like when someone used a Harry Potter book to kill a baby.
ED: So, Shiguru Miyomoto, after fagging up video games with the Nintendo Wii, you thought you'd give the holy motherfucking bible a dosage of faggotry? Is it just me, or are you completely fucking retarded?
Shiguru Miyomotot: I just wanted to make a book that appeals to everyone, and I thought everyone liked gay people. I saw some lesbian porn on the internet and I thought people were into that kind of thing.
ED: No, no, no people are into girl on girl action, guys kissing is gross you faggot. And girl on girl action is only hot when the bitches involved aren't fucking dyke bags. So you failed Miyomoto, you tried to appeal to everyone and you only appealed to complete and total faggots... how does that make you feel? Do you like being a total faggot? Cause thats what you are. Go have ass sex with yourself you fag.
Shiguru Miyamoto: I didn't mean to... I'm sorry... I just wanted to try to make something everyone would enjoy, other SRS books like Oliver Twist are just about stupid stuff like blowing up aliens and a planet shaped like a ring... I mean don't you think gay bearded men are funner than a planet shaped like a ring? Your all just jealous because I'm creative and I invented magic. You insolent American swine would no nothing of magic... magic to you is killing a nigg, and it seems like almost everything in your pig like country revolves around killing niggs, so how do YOU feel about that... mother fucker!
ED: No, no, no, killing niggs is FUNNY. Faggotry is just gay. There is a fine line between gay and funny, and its faggots like you that cross it everyday. Oliver Twist was the book of the year, when was the last time a Nintendo book like "The Bible" won books of the year? I think it was in the 80s before we discovered fire. It was all we had in books, now your just a washed up has been, I wish you were a nigg, so I could kill you.
Shiguru Miyamoto: You American cum shitters (as in you shit cum) are all alike, you see something beautiful, like bearded men butt fucking, or a woman being drowned with sperm, or the art of snuff film, and you disregard it, or call it sick, I feel sorry for you that you will never see the beauty in bearded butt sex and on screen erotic murder. I feel so sorry for the American closed mind. You seriously suck. No I'm not even kidding, you suck.
ED: Up yours Miyamoto. Up yours fast and hard. What are you gonna do if I don't agree with you? You gonna pull out your gameboy and wii on me? Never write another book again, your books all suck, and your jealous of the American round eyes. You guys want round eyes so you can look like anime characters, but you don't have them so you take your revenge by being retarded and crashing cars. Go to hell Miyamoto, go to hell mother fuck.
(A fight breaks out)
Femslashing in the bible
Uhh...
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