Baby Jesus
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Baby Jesus was a Jew who was born in somebody's barn. He is the bastard child of some Whore named Mary who was able to convince her retarded husband that she was still a virgin and that it was God who gave her a dicking. Baby Jesus doesn't really do shit except lay around and receive shitty gifts from three pedophile Jews who only want to engage in some delicious baby fuck.
He never cries, save for when people masturbate. To make Baby Jesus cry is almost as awesome as winning the internet, but many people love doing it anyway. Christians love to make him cry, and then repent by buying him some prostatots. This shows that Christians are indeed pedos, because it is documented in Their "Holy Grail" that he grew from an infant to an adult.
The lulz ensues when you and your "colored" friends steal the Baby Jesus from peoples' Christmas decor and strap him to the hood of your car. However, this is becoming difficult with the advent of new technology.
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The Euphemism
'Baby Jesus' is also frequently used as a way for poor, white trash fundies to tell their kids not to buttrape their neighbors in the trailer park. Shitting in one's nest is not something baby Jesus would do (contrary to adult Jesus; see: Jesus).
Big Baby Jesus
The true Second Coming of Christ, he performed a resurrection miracle just two days before his 36th Chamber.
Not to be confused with...
- Adult Jesus, who gave his life for mankind in order to stop the evil robots from destroying Zion, who in turn refuse to believe what he said.
- Your mom
Baby Jesus Laughs When You...
- Kill a rapist
- Tell a Jew joke because he knows its funny to laugh at oneself
- OFFER YOUR SINS TO HIM IN RECONCILIATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- SHOUT AT THE DEVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- Holy stuff, etc.
- Become a rapist
