345rv5
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
345rv5 is an oversensitive tartlet with approximately 50 tarantulas stuffed up his ass. Like many tartlets he takes his shit way too seriously; for him, the Mario games are SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS where terrorism, plunder and child abuse take place.
Contents |
On Mario
345rv5 spends most of his time in his grandmother’s basement where he has made it his life’s mission to flush himself down the toilet to get to the Mushroom Kingdom and rape Peach, but mostly convincing everyone that the Mario games are SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS and if you insist on only seeing a plumber eating mushrooms and jumping on turtles to save the princess YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG AND YOU’RE AN IDIOT. 345rv5 loves doing his lecturing tl;dr while abusing the comma key on his keyboard and masturbating to Princess Peach.
345rv5’s main bawling is with the shippers who pair Bowser and Peach as a couple, because HOW DARE THEY not see Bowser as a remorseless and diabolical monster, incapable of loving, who instills fear with his talking to posters. While Bowser/Peach is probably a pairing that induces high levels of mind rape (damn you Rule 34), 345rv5 even went so far as to sabotaging the Bowser article in the supermariowiki to fulfill his destiny of exposing who Bowser really is; His theory is that Bowser is the reincarnation of an ancient powerful demon hence his EVUUUHL ways of tennis playing, and that the magikoopas are a thousand year old cult of evil terrorists. Ironically, while exposing THE TRUTH of the Mario series he continues to draw his Peach fantasies, even if Peach behaving like a slut is completely out of character. Like a typical tartlet; his art is made of fail. Surprisingly, 345rv5 has yet to be trolled, to do so tell him that you think Bowser is cute, that he has a secret gay crush on Bowser, that you think Bowser and Peach should be together, or that he takes Mario too seriously and he will be happy to bawww and unleash a text wall onto you.
| —345rv5, on 90% of his posts |
Judging by the recent debacle with Animazella one can only wonder whether this is a troll. However, it would require a vast amount of patience and skill that only a master troll possesses to generate this much tl;dr with such bad spelling without being found out. So, studies conclude that this is the real deal.
BAWW
Last Thursday, 345rv5 hijacked Bowser's, and probably other Mariowiki pages, in what is starting to become a developing drama between him and SuperMarioFan on the SRSBIZ that are Mario games. As seen by the link below and the obvious complaint by SuperMarioFan on the Bowser article's talk page:
LEAVE BOWSER ALONE!
Later, someone added this to the Emotions section of Bowser's page to dissipate the retardedness of 345rv5's hijacking. Why the hell don't just cut it out all out is up to debate. However, this still resulted in pwnage against 345rv5 who claimed that Bowser is just relentless evil, even if it was an unlulzy one. 345rv5 tried to make up for this by planting the last sentence in the paragraph. What a loser with no life, amirite?
The Butthurt
Upon discovery of his article, our friend, whilst attempting to impersonate his sister, tried to make an article on the primary author of this article. Unfortunately, he forgets that there are no girls on the Internet, and that trying to smear someone saner than you generally doesn't work.
Pics of the fail
 The way 345rv5 sees Super Mario |
 I think I just pooped myself |
 Reality check for who? |
 Bowser = Dick Cheney. |
 Bowser is an otherkin!!! |
 HE'S A TERRORIST! |
 Did Bowser kick his dog or something? |
 BAAAAAWWW |
 Mario fans agree he has issues |
 345rv5 expresses his love for tl;dr by tracing and making a long description of things everyone already fucking knows about - in shitty grammar. |
 The Shadow Queen is yet another victim of 345rv5's faggotry. |
 These things actually happen in Mario games. |
 More lulzing regarding 345rv5's lack of life |
 345rv5 manages to come across as an attention whore and an arrogant bastard. BTW welcome to DevianTART. |
 ... Srsly. |
 His novel-esque reply to a simple "BOWSER IS KEWL" note. |
Trolling Begins
While the trolling of 345rv5 is starting rather slowly, it's starting none the less. He seems like he may become a lolcow soon enough. Aside from the earlier mentioned trolling techniques, the more fun trolling begins once you mention his actual art work. Expect lulzy responses as 345rv5 cannot take criticism of any kind. Unless you have superior artwork, you should "go suck a dick" "because you are a talentless piece of shit" and "have no right to judge him."
Of course you should make sure to screencap anything that is posted as 345rv5 will will fucking hide every post that isn't licking his balls.
External Links
See Also
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345rv5 is part of a series on DeviantART |
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