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Tara Gilesbie

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Interesting Fact:
This article contains someone who fails at being an hero.



This article is boring. You can help by placing relevant pretty pictures and adding more lulz/drama.
Even Google says that My Immortal is the worst fanfic ever written.
Even Google says that My Immortal is the worst fanfic ever written.
Or is it?
Or is it?

Tara Gilesbie (also “Tata Gliesbie” or “Tara Gilespie”) is a huge moron who supposedly lives in Dubai, the United Arab Emirates, and evidently travels to the United States every day to shop at Hot Topic. Tara is a “goff” and wrote a God-awful Harry Potter fanfic on Fanfiction.net. Her literary style, known as “Anglo-Horiblis self-insert mangle-ism”, has such distinguishing features as mind-bogglingly terrible spelling and grammar, Mary Sue self-insertion, an utter lack of familiarity with Harry Potter, and use of that work of literature as a vehicle for out-of-place, navel-gazing descriptions of gothified HP characters.

OMG GOFFIK!!!1!one!oneoneone
OMG GOFFIK!!!1!one!oneoneone

However, some people believe that she simply has a satirical sense of humor.

Tara, after her film career.
Tara, after her film career.

Tara's fanfiction.net account has been hijacked on November 21, 2006. Her last update of MI was on July 5, 2007. My Immortal has taken 489 days to write so far. The story has not been updated in 224, and Tara has not posted a chapter for 371 days.

Tara has a Myspace, but it's blocked in Dubai. She has to go to her friend's house to access it.[1]

Contents

[edit] Biography

Tara is a teenage girl stuck in the midst of adolescence. She is very active on teh Internets. Tara is also known as goffikgurl on IMDb, goffikgurl666 on livejournal, XXXmidnitegoffXXX on idolblog, 99843262 on myspace, and XXXbloodyrists666XXX on FF.net and quizilla. Her screen names suggest that she is gothic, but she claims that she is “goffik”.

[edit] Sockpuppet analysis

It has not been proven, but Tara may possibly have a fictionpress account under the pen name satanistwiccengirl. We can only hope she does, because it would be absolutely horrifying if we found another of her kind. The fact that in her first fanfic, "Beatifully Dark", the name of the main character is Samara luc’ifer Bulimia Smith. Note the second name, Lucifer but quite subtly deformed, and the third name, an illness. Now the name of the main character in MI's name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way. Note again the second name, a deformed normal word, and the third name, an illness. Also read "Beatifully Dark" in it's entirety and see that there is either a copycat working here, or Tara has returned. Further investigation is necessary.

[edit] Tara’s life

Gliesbie is known for her frequent spelling mistakes. She is most likely dyslexic, as evidenced by her literary output. Pop-punk band Good Charlotte has made a huge impact on Tara’s life, as their song, Hold On, convinced her not to commit suicide after hearing it on the radio. She was upset at the time, because her boyfriend broke up with her, and her crush didn’t like her. Her current boyfriend is Justin. She also has a little sister named Trista Gilesbie, who she helps write fanfiction. Trista has her own page. Note that she is a much better writer.

It has recently been confirmed that Tara is indeed dyslexic. [2] This leaves the rest of the world wondering what she's doing writing.

[edit] Likes and dislikes

As a goth, the music Gillesbie likes include Linkin Park, Good Charlotte, Evanescence, Simple Plan, Akon, , Blink-182, Marilyn Manson,My Chemical Romance and "all da other goofik bandz." Her least favorite artists are Ashlee Simpson, Britney Spears, Hillary Duff, Lindsay Lohan, and all other pop (despite the fact that most of the bands she likes are punk/pop, power/pop, et cetera). Tara likes to wear eyeliner and make-up. She is obsessed with death, wrist slitting, and Hot Topic. Despite Hilary Duff’s relationship with Good Charlotte frontman, Joel Madden (who also impregnated Nicole Richie), Tara dislikes the pop star, calling Duff a poser. She also hates being alive, Avril Lavigne (who is a poser), bright colors, pink, preps and Barbie. Her favorite movies are Corpse Bride, Mean Girls (which is ironic, considering that she hates Lindsay Lohan, the star of the movie), Van Helsing, The Grudge 1-2, Scary Movie 4, the Omen, Cursed, Nightmare Before Christmas, The Ring 1-2, and all horror movies.

[edit] My Immortal

Gillesbie has authored a Harry Potter story on Fanfiction.net. The story, entitled My Immortal, was named after an Evanescence song. Notably, Gerard Way, lead singer of My Chemical Romance, is greatly idolized in the story. It received 4280 reviews in just one year.


Tara takes pleasure in renaming characters of the Harry Potter story. She also enjoys making them "goffik" and turning them into “vampirez”. It had also been noted that this retard has no concept of weather, as in her first chapter it's miraculously "snowing and raining" and the same time. Please realize that this is impossible. Here is a description of her character, followed by a list of renamed characters and brief descriptions of them:

Image:2ufzytc.jpg

Ebony (Enoby) Way:
Why can't I be less beautiful!? *suicides with a steak*
Why can't I be less beautiful!? *suicides with a steak*

Her full name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way, she is not related to one of Tara's idols, Gerard Way. She has black hair, "icy blue eyes like limpid tears", and has perfectly straight teeth despite the fact that she is a vampire. Her dress style includes fishnets, leather boots, and lots of black clothing. She goes to sleep in a coffin wearing a long, black, low cut dress. She also wears a fair bit of pink, despite the fact that she hates it and associated it with preps.

Now that brings us to her habit of classifying the world into three groups: preps (people who like Hilary Duff, pink and things that Tata hates), posers (people like Avril Lavigne who pretend to be goth) and goths (people like her; morons.) She also says the f word a lot and tends to stick up her rude-finger a lot. Once she recognized the existence of "nredz" (nerds) in Chapter 25 of "My Immortal."

Her hobbies include, slitting her wrists, drinking blood, crying out tears of blood, shooting people, and doing things that are far too mature for her. She also has a band with the utterly unpredictable name of “Bloody Gothic Rose 666”.

Always shops at Hot Topic even though they also cater to "preps". Spends alot of time barely wearing anything or having random Sue sex with every guy in the damn book once she's made them gothik. Her name can be read as a synonym for whorish epic failure.

Draco Malfoy He is one of the characters who was not re-named, he is a now a goth (full description is rather long, and for the record pointless). He is in love with Ebony (and had a past relationship with “Vampire”) and he becomes an hero. He gets into some nasty trouble, when Dumbledore catches him having teh sex with Ebony. Later on, he gets tortured by Voldemort. Yes, I know this doesn’t make sense - neither does Tara’s story.

Vampire Potter (aka Harry Potter) He used to go out with Draco, but they broke it off later. He is now a goth as well. He has a crush on Ebony.

B'Loody (pronounced bl-OO-dee) Mary Smith (aka Hermione Granger) After her mum died, Hermione became a goth and was renamed "Mary", her last name was found to be Smith. She is ALSO a goth. Then again, who the hell isn't in Tara's story.


Diabolo Weasley (aka Ron Weasley) He is now a goth and is part of Ebony's band. He changed the shape of Harry's scar for an unknown reason. It should be noted that while "Diablo" means "Devil" in spanish, "Diabolo" is actually a juggling prop an article on which can be found here.

[edit] Snow White Queen

Tara's 2int fane fiktshun that she wrote about Kirby. The main character is Ivyna Jesis Dementias TARA Jade Jrega Aachnifobya Enoby Bloom, and is more over the top than Ebony/Enoby. Her spelling skills seem to have gotten worse since writing My Immortal, but she still kept a lot of her trademark retardedness: every character has at least six or seven names, everyone falls in love with Ivy, people who don't like her are fucked, vigorous raping of canon/characters etc.

[edit] Writing Style

Tara has a very distinct writing style. She uses many different kinds of experimental liberties with her prose and thus can be compared to contemporary writers such as Haruki Murakami and Bret Easton Ellis.

Quite interesting is her approach to description of character and setting. She occasionally completely ignores the little things - such as where a certain part of the story is taking place - and then expounds on her own overwhelming interest in fashion by describing her character's clothing, hair and makeup at length. L e n g t h.

According to the recent census, whenever Tara updates or even picks up a pencil the equivalent of a retard nuclear explosion occurs within a hundred mile radius to anyone reading or sitting next to a computer. Many survivors are too traumatized by the goffiks, and poor writing skills to come forward.


[edit] We Am Family

Unfortunately it has come to our attention that the self-acclaimed xxxbloodykisses666xxx or Tara's bum-fucked sister with just as bad writing skills may come from the same shit infested gene pool. Trista, the god-awful other spawn, writes exactly like her sister. Their unique abilities make them an unstoppable duo in which to wreak revolting horrifying terror upon teh Internets. Perhaps writing skillz is PAZTED DOWNED!??? holy motherfucker.

All I know is that if there is another Tara Gilesbie out there be sure I will purchase enough rope to hang myself and anyone else willing to come along no charge.

[edit] Videos

These are on YouTube which is a robot reading of her horrible story showing pictures and otherwise mocking her. Lulz much but might cause eye bleeding. Rated R for retarded.

Trailer

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 9

Part 10

Part 11

[edit] Legacy

Tara has affected an entire generation of fanfic writers. She influenced many stories, be it parody or not.

[edit] Fanbase

Tara Gilesbie has acquired a large group of cult-like followers. Some do ritual cutting every night and worship a shrine of Tara on a weekly basis. In addition, she has a fanclub on livejournal, where "Goffs" and "Prepz" are both allowed. She usually shits her gawf angst on the "prepz", and asks them to take her quiz to find our if "theyz r goffik or not!!11".

It is speculated by some that her fanbase is entirely composed of various sock puppets belonging to Tara herself in a pathetic attempt to draw moar attention to her shit. This is of course only subtle conjecture, as everyone knows that there is no shortage of retardation on the Intarwebz.

[edit] Rivalry

Naturally with a story as provocative as My Immortal, there will inevitably be a backlash. Tara's assault on "Preps" and prep culture has prompted many writers to defend the worlds preps and launch a counter attack on the evil goffik scum in the world, most notably a story called Fightn' Over Me. This story is practically a shrine for Paris Hilton, the story title being a song off of Hilton's music album. The story is also based on FanFiction.net and features a character Paris, usually spelled "Prus" and her battle to free the world of goffs. The story starts similar to Tara's and eventually deviates along its own path, with equally horrendous spelling and grammar.

[edit] Tara-esque Authors

Not an all-inclusive list.

[edit] Tara-esque Stories

See main article.

[edit] External Links

Image:Little Troll.gif Tara Gilesbie is part of a series on Trolls.

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