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Mario

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LOL WUT

Mario did WTC.

Mario is the fat, greasy, Italian mascot for Nintendo and has starred in many (roughly 90%) of their games due to Shigeru Miyamoto's inability to come up with new characters.

[edit] The Games

More evidence that Mario is actually jewish

[edit] Donkey Kong

Mario got drunk and started trying to steal some nigger's white girlfriend. He succeeded and almost killed the nigger for good after nearly getting a cap in the ass.

[edit] Super Mario Bros.

Mario teams up with his brother and they kill some giant monkeyfuck named Bowser and stuff like that to fuck some princess.

One of Miyamoto's early character sketches for Luigi.

[edit] Super Mario Bros 2

Mario, Luigi, some midget, and a blonde whore team up and battle a frog. They killed it and threw it into a blender, and that's how penis pudding was invented.

[edit] Super Mario Bros. 3

Bowser took over the mushroom Kingdom, installing his progeny as puppet rulers of the various Kingdoms inside the Mushroom Empire. Mario, caught off guard by this coup at a furry convention, didn't even change out of his sexy racoon gear before he went after Bowser and his kin with a vengeance. He went on a world spanning quest to violently murder the children and followers of the King Koopa. After slaughtering all of his children, Mario pulled out the shock and awe on Bowser himself! Some argue that this is the best game evar and would score 9001 on a 1-10 rating scale. However, anyone who agrees with this is a furfag, as this is the game where Mario came out as a furry, wearing an arsenal of fun fursuits, such as a raccoon, a turtle, a frog, and a Jew.

[edit] Super Mario World

Nigga stole my yoshi!

The same game as 3, but for the Super Nintendo. The only difference is that this time you get to ride a fucktarded dinosaur named Yoshi AND OMG YOU GET A CAPE INSTEAD OF A TAIL!1

[edit] Mario Kart

Mario and his friends go drunk driving and bust caps in each other's asses for trophies.

[edit] Super Mario RPG

The starting plot is the same as SMB 1 but then this giant Sword rams into Bowser's castle and shit went flying everywhere.

So, Mario then has to find these gay ass stars to activate a gay ass plot of wishing. Gameplay is very similar to that of Final Fantasy (Obviously since this game was made by the same shit company who made that shit) except YOU CAN PRES BUTTONS TO DO MOAR DAMAGE!!!

Luigi finds out that his brother is actually Ron Jeremy.

[edit] Mario is Missing

Some gay game where Luigi unfortunately finds his brother in the closet.

The PC version of the game gave birth to the meme known as Weegee.

[edit] Super Mario 64

Same gay shit, you just run around (in 3D) and collect some fag stars (and yes, it's always fucking stars) to save the needy bitch princess Peach from Bowser (King Koopa?). Originally released in 1996 on the Nintendo 64 (omfg, 64-bit grafix) but was then Re-released on DS where you get to play as his faggot brother Luigi, some greedy fatass, and a green dinosaur.

[edit] Paper Mario

Same as SMRPG but every character is a fucking piece of paper. Bowser stole this Star Rod [for some odd reason kirby's star rod is in the mushroom kingdom]and decided to use it for himself. Peach invites Mario and Luigi to some strip party, and Peach wants to show Mario some panty, BUT the whole castle rises up in the sky and Bowser pwns the shit out of Mario with his Star Rod OMFG! So now Mario has to free some shit star spirits to re-own Bowser and his damn Star Rod, with the help of all his partners. His partners are all even more gay than the next, and when not in use, they hide in Mario's ass. The series has also spawned a two equally childish, contrived, and resolutely gay sequels.

[edit] Super Smash Bros.

Japs are Mario fags

A Nintendo fanboy's wet dream come to life. The game is basically a giant circlejerk of various Nintendo characters beating the shit out of each other.

[edit] Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door

The world is once again turned into paper, and it's up to Mario to go collect OMFGJESUSCHRIST EVEN MORE!!!!!!! fucking Stars. That's right, and 7 of them! Who would've thought? This time around, they're made of aluminum foil. Mario's partners, in this game, are all freakish mutants who society rejected... Let's see...

Goombella, a PMS-ing bitch. Mini-Moog from Yoshilore wants to go out with her.
Koops, a pussy.
Flurrie, a nudist. And attractive women are NEVER nudist, are they? No, it's always the big fat fucking cows. Unfortunately for Mario, she wants inside his pants.
Yoshi, a homosexual, if not only because one of his colors to be is pink.
Vivian, a prostitute-like shadow-freaky lady who wants inside Mario's pants. But in japan she's a boy.
Captain Bobbery, an old pedophile who blows himself (up).
Ms. Mowz, a random convict who wants inside Mario's pants.

[edit] Super Mario Sunshine

Goatse 64. Wait, how did he pull his overalls down like that?

Mario flies around on a water jet pack for 20 hours until you get bored to death.

[edit] SUpeR MaRio GalAxY

Pretty colors and cutesy stars
Addition of cutesy animals (penguins and the like)
High pitched, unmanly, and child-like squeals from the primary protagonist, Mario
Plinky plonky music, easy on the ears of children
One button controls. WAGGLE N JUMP
Easy gameplay designed not to frustrate youngsters. Bosses are easy: find the weak-spot (which they'll bend over and show you before attacking) then repeat 3 times
Completely linear levels, allowing children of young ages with no problem solving skills whatsoever the ability to complete the game
Lack of depth so younger players are not overwhelmed (go through one linear path, 120 times, for 120 stars).
A level composed entirely of children's toys
Fairytale-like plot, where prince charming must rescue the damsel in distress
Kindergarten-esque storybook sections
Large, cartoony font, and simplistic dialog, with emphasis on certain words (helps early child reading skills develop)
Get at least 120 stars to play as Luigi which he can jump higher but his traction is total shit.
And etc etc...

[edit] Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games

No exceptions

Mario and his friends find some furfags and a fat scientist, and then they compete in some shit Olympic game. Nobody gives a shit about this game now, due to Sonic in Brawl. Mario realized that these people came from a bizarro universe because it is the furfags who beat the shit out of some human troll, not the other way around.

[edit] Super Paper Mario

Same old story as the first two, except in this game, he gets partners that aren't necessarily gay, but they aren't heterosexual either. This time around, he gets to team up with Tippi, Princess Peach, Luigi, and Bowser. In the middle of a game, a plot twist occurs where ~~Bowser kills Mario and Luigi and has hot sex with Peach.~~ Dimento shoots Mario with crystal methane and ~~Peach~~ his faggot brother cries and becomes the final boss.

[edit] Other Games

Keep in mind, the above mentioned games only make up a small percentage of the games in which Mario has starred. Mario has also been featured in at least 100 other games (no exaggeration), all of which can be viewed here.

[edit] Mario Teaches Sex-Ed

Gallery

Don't play this game!

Play this game instead! (But keep in mind that Daisy will also rape you to death.)

Mario at the peak of stardom.

Mario, doing what he does best.

[Collapse Gallery] [Expand Gallery] 0

MOAR MARIO PLZTHNX.	At one time Mario was just an American immigrant.	Mario goes to San Francisco	A star is born.
FLAWLESS VICTORY	Raep	The exciting story of a typical mario game	Mario betrays his "friends" constantly.
An artist's impression of what Mario looked like during these days, edited from a misleading thumbnail.	Mario in his latest hit game, Mario Moonshine	A typical Mario game	At one point, Mario was a nigger.
Mario becomes an hero.	Super Mario Bros. in all its graphic detail.	I'M TRIPPIN BALLS, MAN!	What the game would look like IRL
Mario gets no play.	Mario before 10AM.	The Triforcifixion, when Mario died for all mankind.	IT IS DELICIOUS CAEK. YOU MUST EAT IT.
Mushroom kingdom has many exoctic creatures.	An example of Mario Games serious dialogue.	Not only is mario against Torrent downloading, he is also An Hero.	lol, Rule 34
Wait, anyone remember this game?	lol?	Weegee's bout to lay down some hot beats.	IT IS DELICIOUS CAEK
Yep, at fucking last, Mario raeped Peach.	AHAHAHAHAHAHA	Somehow, the internet manages to make everything gayer.	Who the fuck takes their time to draw this shit?
Piranha Plant wants Mario's Italian Sausage!	Mario shows off his fashion sense	NERD RAAAAAAAAGE	bowser as seen in Super Paper Mario
	He's gonna fix your plumbing!	Mario is fucking fat.