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Article of the Now — Oniontown

Oniontown is a charming and rustic hamlet in up-state New York which has become famous on the internets because it's, like, poor. Concurrently, it has become a common pastime for giggling suburban students to drive in from white suburbs loaded with camcorders and booze to guffaw at the residents and marvel at the fact that there are chickens walking around outside.

The difference (as many of these presidents of tomorrow are finding out) is that unlike the Blair Witch, Appalachians are very real and they WILL kill your ass if you decide to go fuck with them.

((NOBODY is to stone ANYBODY until I BLOW THIS WHISTLE!))