Bipolar Disorder
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Bipolar disorder, formerly known as "manic depression", is an excuse for anything and everything, even rape in Melmo's case. Retards often use the so-called bipolar disorder to justify being a complete and total fucktarded asshole by yelling, "I'M BIPOLAR, YOU IGNORANT FUCK! STOP PERSECUTING ME!!!"
Much like its relatives, such as ADD and depression, Bipolar disorder is completely made up. Being Fucking a bipolar is like riding a rollercoaster serial killer: scary and exciting.
Despite what doctors say, there is no such thing as bipolar in teens.
Thankfully, 20-25% of all bipolar people's lives are lost to suicide.
Also, it should be noted that anyone who isn't happy all the time, or sad all the time, has bi-polar disorder. Or at least that's what they tell friends, parents, doctors, and so forth, so that when they do something retarded they have a legitimate excuse.
In the extremely rare case that an individual actually suffers from bipolar disorder, you can identify them with a few handy tricks. They identify themselves as "being diagnosed" with bipolar disorder instead of "being bipolar". They also seem like swell guys and gals before they stop sleeping, steal and spend all your money, then kill and rape you, your family and themselves in a fit of rage-driven mania. These people are dangerous and should be shot on sight raped and then staked through the heart.
Contents |
A Day in the Life of a Manic-Depressive
My ice cream does not taste good. It must be because the old pervert next my house has been raping my dog. I'm so happy, my dog has been alone for so long! Now it finally has a slightly depressed, nice old man to be with! Fuck, I'm having my period! I must blog and insert quotes from my favorite songs and movies on my MySpace page because other people's opinions help express my individuality! On second thought, I think I will look up anime on YouTube. Oh cock-ass-shitty-dick! It appears that I have forgotten my password. Luckily, I am old enough to bitch and complain to my friends on Neopets until I remember my password. When in the end, I could have gone through the simple process of the password retrieval system. Anyways...Whoa, what the fuck?! Someone has rated my yaoi video one star! COCKASSFUCKBALLSDICKINMYNON-EXISTENTPUSSYSHITCOCKMASTERFAGGISHBITCH!!!!! Oh well, I'm going to watch this video someone sent me a link to, OMFG these people are taking over the world!! I'm going to call up everyone I know who has guns and we're going to go and kill them before they stop us from breeding. Wait a minute, what is this? A video about a horse feed lot, OMFG those horses are being kept in a Nazi death camp, I'm going to go free them! But first I am going to get something to eat. MMMMM I love painkillers, who needs food when I have painkillers. Oh, look, Intervention is on, I'm going to watch intervention because those people are really PHUCKED up. Wow, an Intervention marathon, I'm going to get on myspace and post about it in my status. Man, I'm starving, I could sure go for a few lines right now. Oh no, my sister is here, she's gonna tell my mom I'm doing drugs, I better kill her and bury her body in my neighbor's yard before I report her missing. Thank god I spent all night sharpening my knife collection.
Signs/Symptoms
Depression
- overeating
- sitting on a recliner watching intervention marathons
- an accurate realization of being a complete waste of human existence.
- another realization that nobody likes you, not even your dog
Mania
- imagining that everyone likes you
- willingness to sleep with anything, whether it has a penis or a cunt (not to be confused with a pity fuck)
- realizing that sleep is a complete waste of time and only WEAK people need sleep
- intricate plans to take over the world and kill anyone who tries to stop them with the knives they spent all night sharpening
- spending hours and using sheets of paper to crack codes (slightly less than random numbers that appear on some radios in the manner of a slot machine)
- imagined power levels of over 9000
