Zoe Yang

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

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What happens to camwhores after they graduate from college? A prime case study can be found by examining Zoe Yang (who is obviously Asian like her heroine Lena Chen).

2008: Zoe Wants to be a College Camwhore

It all started when Zoe, unable to be accepted into an Ivy, got shitcanned to Pomona. Nestled in with all the other wealthy wannabes, Zoe hit upon a brilliant idea: blog about SEX! And add PICTURES! So little Asian Zoe blogged her heart out.

College camwhore Zoe Yang channels her inner skank

Zoe Yang makes the most of her studies at Pomona

“	I have Daddy issues. He made me feel generally inadequate all my life. I've never gotten close to friends, but I spill my guts to the person I'm fucking. That person is invariably no more capable of understanding me than anyone else in my life, but at least he can make me feel better by putting a penis inside me. I am not the poster girl for healthy sexing.	„
—--Zoe Yang, stating the obvious, on her sex blog, zoehassex

“	Here's the thing: I suck at giving head. I blow at giving head. I sputter and choke at giving head. I was with M for six months before I got him to cum from oral. It took weed and perseverance. I successfully gave C head the first two times I tried, and then embarked on a record of failing. He attributes the early successes to embryonic-relationship nervous excitement and says he needed "those bouncing buttcheeks" of sex thereafter. .	„
—--Zoe Yang, breaking NEW GROUND on oral and weed on her sex blog

Zoe's blog was SO CUTTING EDGY!1 that the campus conservatives had great glee in gutting Zoe's Vietnamese whore fantasies

Zoe responded in well-trained dramawhore fashion: BLAME TEH CRITICS!:

“	Q: What's the difference between Zoe Yang and a prostitute? A: A prostitute doesn't have to write up her encounters before she gets paid..	„
—--The Claremont Conservative, laughing their asses off at Zoe Yang

Rumor has it that Zoe not only sucked (blew, sputtered, choked) at giving head: she also sucked, blew, sputtered and choked at writing. Aiming to raise her writing skillz to the level of Candace Bushnell or Lena Chen, Zoe took a class taught by a REALLY FAMOUS PROFESSORZ!!1

The professor blew his head off with a 12-gauge after reading Zoe's writing.

College camwhore Zoe Yang took a creative writing class at Pomona. Then the professor blew his brains out. Coincidence?

2008: Autoadmit Milks Zoe for the lulz

Normally, Zoe Yang's writing would have vanished into the void of teh 'net. But lucky for Zoe, those lol-cows at Autoadmit came on the scene.

The folks at Autoadmit submitted Zoe's writing to the rigorous scrutiny appropriate for the fuckie-suckie blogger Zoe aspired to become.

Zoe took the criticism constructively: she screamed, quickly pulled teh plug on her blog, vowed to "go underground," and did everything she could to take herself off the grid.

Zoe Yang: From College Camwhore to Fuckup Foodie

Shortly after (she thought) scrubbing the 'net of all traces of her fuckie-suckie blog and camwhore pics, Zoe Yang embarked on a job search. She landed at McKinsey & Company in New York.

Zoe Yang, now a foodie, still loves to suck, blow, sputter and choke on a good weiner.

Six months passed--which is a long time for a dramaskank and camwhore to maintain 'net silence. But before long, Zoe felt bored at her job. Thus began Zoe's career as a FOODIE!!1 (here).

Since Zoe had plenty of practice sucking (blowing, sputtering, and choking) on things, the transition from college camwhore to fuckup foodie was effortless for Zoe.

And then Autoadmit came on the scene again. Through these lolcows' tutelage, Zoe came to learn that:

1) the remnants of her sexblog were arrive and werr
2) Google has something called a "cache" which saves pages you think you've nuked from sight

"How do you remove things from Google cache?" twittered a desperate Zoe Yang, after this tidbit came to light.

3) Trolls love rubbernecking towards skanks who become foodies

In response, Zoe Yang lamented her plight with Camwhore Mama-san Lena Chen on the discussion pages of another sexblog, sexandtheivy

“	It's funny how they keep saying they're going to come find me. How do they think that's going to go?	„
—--Zoe Yang, bluffing and baiting Anonymous