Zoe Kimball

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Run Zoe...Run... For dear life RUN!

Zoe Kimball is a vain 16 year old girl from Oregon who always loved to stare at herself in the mirror, admire, and post lots of her pictures online. She did this for years and it took a long time for her camwhoring to get into /b/'s black heart.

Some of Zoe's widely available pictures were posted on /b/, but /b/tards at first ignored her as just another camwhore. But then Zoe uploaded many videos like this one of Zoe wearing chav clothes and flashing gang signs while her friends shouted "What up nigga?" It was only then that /b/tards subsequently decided that Zoe was the cutest thing to hit /b/ since Line Trap. Her myspace even states that she is bi and everybody knows that you can't be a hot chick without being bi.

Like with other chan-girls, Anon posted violent rape copypasta, and then eventually some original comments. Within 3 hours, /b/ had her name, number, and personal information, and ground agents were out driving by her house. Her phone number was called to confirm her location. So when Zoey finally got all the attention she craved, she ran away scared but still she continued camwhoring. It was all very scary.

Contents

Ground Agents - Epic FAIL

I'd hit it
 
“ 		 
holy fucking shit i think i am in love with this girl. her eyes... they're so beautiful... i just want to rip them out and fuck her skull until my PENIS breaks, you know?
  		„
 

—Anon

 
“ 		 
now i know why parents don't want their kids on MySpace. good thing we're a friendly army.
  		„
 

—Anon

 
“ 		 
/b/ we're better then the nsa...we have agents on the ground before we even know they're needed
  		„
 

—Anon

 
“ 		 
If you live near her you must slowly but surely gain her trust and become her friend then kidnap her when she least expects it. By then the rest of us Anon (well over 9000) will have built a mansion out of bricks in the Utah desert for the sole purpose or procreating with her. We shall have our most attractive anons mate with her then share the offspring with the rest of us. Thoughts?
  		„
 

—Anon

 
“ 		 
tell her she has an entire website stroking in unison. she's the queen of Saturday night spilled load.
  		„
 

—Anon

 
“ 		 
Can you honestly look at the very first picture posted and say that you DON'T want to spill your semen all over her face, in her eyes, nose, and mouth? That you wouldn't enjoy stripping her down and making her eat out of a dog bowl? That you wouldn't hang her from the ceiling from chains and beat her with a golf club?!

WTF is wrong with you?
  		„
 

—Anon

 
“ 		 
Naw. Need streetview pictures... I wanna know what colour it is, where the entrances are, if the windows are open. How many windows there are. If they are barred. Whether there's an alarm system

If you're gonna plan something, you need the details.
  		„
 

—Anon

 
“ 		 
just start by creeping on by her house and school, and taking pictures of them for ED...then we'll go from there. keep it on the downlow /b/rother. Get enough pics of surrounding neighborhood to create a navigable street view. will be good for plotting escape routes.
  		„
 

—Anon

 
“ 		 
You fuckers aren't going to do jack shit except give this poor girl a nervous breakdown and disrupt her life. I hope her dad is a big redneck bubba that shoots a couple of you in the face as you do your little recon drive-bys.
  		„
 

—Anon

 
“ 		 
ZOE IS A FORCED MEME! PLANTED PICS TURNED INTO YOUR LOVE ANON! YOU'VE BEEN USED!
  		„
 

—Anon

 
“ 		 
There is no meme here.
There is only discussion of the stalking and subsequent violent rape and torture
of a 16 year old girl from Hood River Oregon.
  		„
 

—Anon

 
“ 		 
if this goes through, this will be like injecting /b/ with anti-cancer super-vaccine
straight into the aorta and the urethra at the same time
  		„
 

—Oldfag Anon

 
“ 		 
I feel a bit sorry for her... but hey.

Zoe Kimball, every guy that have seen your face wants to bone you - and you do post the pictures yourself. This is just, as I see it, a free ticket to more popularity.
  		„
 

—Anon

 
“ 		 
how do you know she's scared?
  		„
 

—Anon

 
“ 		 
does she tell you in bed while you comfort her with your manly embrace as you swear to guard her like the white knight you are?
  		„
 

—Anon

Previous Quote  |  Next Quote

MOAR Stalkerness

This guy married a fake Zoe.

Zoe's DeviantArt page linked in this article is real, but not very active. After events of scary/lulzy phone calls by Anons in the night, etc. the site was shut down. Everything was then now hidden. However, once someone becomes the object of Anon, they would take steps to protect themselves from further harassment. Unfortunately, Anon is very, very, very good at using the internet.

Due to Zoe's desu nature, she has a high number of fakes, especially since Brazil took a particular interest in making Zoe fakes. The best way to spot a Zoe fake is by of course using common sense, and seeking out non-famous Hood River residents, and looking for Zoe's friends. The fakes will also have Zoe's friends, but the friends will have different profiles and profile numbers than the ones you've found from the profiles of regular people. There are hundreds and dozens of fake Zoe Kimball MySpace accounts.

The growth of love for Zoe Kimball has started to spread to other chans. 12andUnderchan has an ongoing thread, and 7chan has intermittent threads. The greatest lulz threads are still, however, on the original /b/.

THE INTERNET WHITE KNIGHTINGS

Then came showings of several (or one) /b/tards standing up and realising that this is perverted and that they wish it to stop.

That is all so far.

This/these /b/tard(s) seems to have some connection with Zoe and could possibly be a friend or family member. But more likely it's some kid in her school with a crush on her who's too scared and shy to even talk to her so he (or sometimes she--remember Zoe says on her myspace that she is bi) faps to her pics all day online and occassionaly white knights her with dreams of marriage.

The Plan(s)

At some point, someone actually came up with a long range vision... not very /b/.

>>67069590

This is how it should go down.

Step one, we recruit a young, underage b& anon to take her out to a mall date.

Two, maybe in the food court, AnonB& introduces Zoe to other Anon who meet up.

Three, Anon takes Zoe home and shows off /b/ and explains how it works, also getting a good name with Mom and Pop.

Four, /b/ gains Zoe's trust, to the point where she is a regular Femanon.

Five, tits.

After the tits part, many Anons suggested different things. Take her to a newly purchased mansion. Get her really dirty and muddy and gross, so she has to take a shower. (Note that there will be many cameras in the shower from hundreds of different angles that look like a small black dots.) Then, once in the bathroom, she will notice all the sexy pictures all over the walls of the bathroom. She will get very wet. Then after her shower when her complexion is nice and virginal, she will see the crowd of Anons to greet her outside the bathroom.

Anons will sit her down and explain the rules. The entire mansion is on total lock-down 100% of the time. The password to unlock everything is "THE GAME," of course. The rules are....

  1. You must be completely naked 100% of the time.
  2. If Anon makes a request, you are required to comply.
  3. Anon has exclusive access to all of your journals, diaries, and other personal data.
  4. Absolutely no sex toys or masturbation allowed. If you are horny, you must ask an Anon to have intercourse with you.
  5. When outdoors, you are to be naked and wearing a leash. [Note: Zoe lives in Northern Oregon, so really smart idea for the Winter, anon.]

Pictures

Zoe Kimball Gallery

Zoe's Return in 2009

In 2009, she returned with a new myspace http://www.myspace.com/zzzoeykins that originally read:

If you want to know why I'm gone, It's because..,
I'm sick of being stalked,
Being harassed sexually, mentally, and physically.
I'm sick of people getting my number and calling my house at all hours (my house phone is now disconnected for that reason)
I'm sick of random people recognizing me (like that's going to stop :/)
I'm sick of people stealing my picture, even though they'll get them off my personal account SOME how, I'm just sick of them hitting jackpot with pictures openly stored and untagged on this public myspace.
I'm sick and tired of making proof pictures, putting tagged and untagged copies onto my photobucket, having low lives hacking my photobucket account, them getting the untagged copies and then editing them to something else and saying their the originals.
I'm sick of gullible people losing faith in me.
I'm sick of obsessive people trading my pictures online.
I'm sick and fucking tired of all this myspace bullshit!
From now on, I'll only be on my personal account.
If I ever do get another public account, It will be this one!
Don't be fooled by tricky little posers.
Everything they say is fucking lies.
They lie to me, to you, to themselves...
They only hurt me, they do nothing good for me.
They get me stalked, make me hated, spread my pictures...
Everything that's bad, nothing that's good.
I will have nothing to do with people i don't know personally until most of this heat blows over.
Don't claim I'm "fake" because someone has new pictures and I've stopped posting, they're just creepers who stalk my personal account.
I won't be on for months,
Or possibly even a year or longer.
So don't wait up.
-Zoe McKenzie Kimball<|3

So does this mean she's stopped camwhoring? No. The real reason she dissappeared was that she was in juvie for a year, as seen by her new set of prison tattoos:

One of Zoe's myspace profile pics.

It is unknown what she was in prison for, but in this video it is revealed she keeps a Guy Fawkes mask handy for those Scientology protests and we all know that CoS has arrested people on fake charges before.

Zoe's Guy Fawkes mask on the table

So in the end, while Anon was discussing all these rape and kidnapping schemes, Zoe was standing right next to Anon behind a mask each week, working for The Marcab Confederacy and nobody had any idea. Even her listing Chuck Palahniuk as her favorite author didn't clue them in. She does live about an hour from Portland, the only Scientology protest zone in Oregon.

See also

External links

Zoe's Pages

Fap Material

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