Yu-Gi-Oh
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Contents |
Explaining the Whole Plot In Less Than 5 Seconds
It's a bunch of gay guys beating the shit out of each other with cardstock.
Explaining the whole tv series Plot In TL;DR
Yu-Gi-Oh (pronounced you-gay-ho or Yu - Sick - Fuck, full name Yu-Gi-Ohmygodfuckmyass) is a show based on a card game (which is an intentional ripoff of Magic the Gathering shown in the original comic book series) about Japanese people who speak with New York accents and "teh heart of the cards, lol." Okay, so there's this boy with a 58-year old's voice by the name of Yugi Muto. He's got some big Egyptian bling around his neck, and he runs around with several androgynous guys and dresses like a gay biker. Despite having a girl friend, Tea, with huge tits, all he does is play Tokyo No-Limit Hold 'em Poker. They politely take turns in between hair tossing, power-queefing, and betting their souls on the game. All on the part of the male characters, of course. The occasional sex scene is punctuated by Yami/Atem whipping off his leather pants, screaming "Behold! A power like you've never seen before!" before spooning Tea. Deuces and ginormous fucking monsters and robots are both wild.
Episode upon episode is spent discussing card strategies and acquisition of the Egyptian GoddCock Rings. They also speak of the Power of Friendship, Friendship being an occult demon who can engulf virgins with his semen in 9.4 seconds flat, technically making it the best sex the virgins have ever had. All of the characters on the show have had sex with Friendship at least 100 times.
- Season 0 Plot summary: Little is known about the real 1st season of Yu-Gi-Oh because the poofters in the English speaking world considered it too violent. The series went for several episodes and showed u how that poof Yugi solved the hardest puzzle in the world that took atleast 100 years to solve. This is said by some to be the best series cause that pussy 13 year old boy actually forced someone to shoot and kill themselves now that's entertainment
- Season 1 Plot summary: The show introduces Yugi Mutou a 13 year old boy also to be a future an hero living with his Pedo Grandpa, who runs a card/drugs shop. Yugi has a girl friend and two boyfriends that hang around him because he's good in the sack. They are known as Joey Wheeler, Tea Gardner, Tristan Taylor. All of them love Yugi's heart of the cards and his throbbing man-meat. Shit happens when Yugi's grandpa is finally caught looking at child porn by Pegasus and taken away to a castle owned by a toon-obsessed pedophile named Pegasus J. Crawford, also known as Maximillion Pegasus. Yugi fights Pegasus for his Grandpa's freedom. Kaiba also joins in to save his brother from the child labor exploiting clutches of Maximillion Pegasus who is about to send him to the Shadow Realm.
- Season 2 Plot summary: Wanting to prove finally how big his cock is Seto Kaiba challenges the whole fucking world and Yugi to attend his card game tournament. For instant lulz, Yugi beats him and Kaiba realizes how much of a waste of time and money the card game actually is.
- Season 3 Plot summary: Nobody really gives a shit what happened or who died by this season, except for the most rabid basement-dwelling fans.
Possibly the gayest foreign import shown on TV evar, since the cancellation of "Super Henshin TaiChi Seven Guys Fucking Six Guys Action BattleFever team penetration squad StarBeastiality Rangers: Deluxe". Yu-Gi-Oh spawned a movie that garnered a 5% rating, arguably less, on Rotten Tomatoes.
Characters in Yu-Gi-Oh
- Yugi: The main 13 year old boy of the show. Since he cant afford Pokemon cards he plays Duel Monsters instead, a.k.a. a over 9000 times better version of Magic the Gathering. He wears around his neck the Millennium Puzzle, one of the seven Millennium Items and an ancient Egyptian artifact that gives him an excuse to be bi-polar. When Yugi is playing a game or under stress, his bi-polar surfaces and he pretends to be a 3,000-year-old nameless pharaoh takes partial or complete control of the body and his penis. If Yugi was bisexual this would be his gay, twink side. (bondage slave to his alter ego)
- Dark Yugi/ Yami Yugi/Bi Polar Yugi: - The pharaoh Atem who became a An hero in his previous life. His soul is trapped in "Yugi's Millennium Puzzle" along with some "Millennium" crack. If Yugi was bisexual this would be his straight side. He forced Yugi to wear a bondage collar around his neck.
- Téa Gardner: - Téa is Yugi's girlfriend. She sucks at playing the actual card game, though that's because she doesn't play it as often as the other fags on the show because she is too busy sucking penis. She loves Yugi because he is bi-polar, she gets fucked by his straight side, and wears a dildo for the gay side.
- Joseph "Joey" Wheeler: - Yugi's boyfriend and the bitch of the relationship. He is also an oily guido faggot who rapes the English language whenever he opens his greasy mouth. Follows Yugi around at the start of the first season asking him for money to feed his little sister's drug addiction. He later finds out the duel monsters is serious business and starts playing it to win money. Of course though he is still a complete idiot because everybody knows you could make more just selling the damn cards on eBay.
- Tristan Taylor: - Yugi's other boyfriend. Is crap at the card game, usually because hes just shit in general. Had one episode that he dueled in, but that got edited out for the English version because it was too lame. He is madly in love with every girl on the tv show, like Brock from Pokemon. However, unlike Brock, he also loves every guy on the show as well. At least he's easily satisfied.
- Ryo Bakura: - Bakura is bi-polar, also like Yugi. Physically he resembles a mop. By day his is a normal school student, while at night he is a 3,000 year old spirit that lives in his Millennium Cock ring, with the power of the cards and buttsecks. He intends to collect all of the Millennium items FTW.
- Seto Kaiba: - The Bill Gates of the world, and sees Yugi is a threat because his penis is longer than his. He is the president of Kaiba Corporation, the biggest game company in the world, that's slowly taking it over like Wal-mart. He wears a misshapen trench coat in hopes of disguising his hideous disfigurement due to arthritic joints and hunching all day in his computer chair. Thinks that inventing technology to play holographic card games actually benefits society, funnily enough.
- Mokuba Kaiba: - Seto Kaiba's younger gay brother. Besides that, he does a whole load of fucking nothing except for getting kidnapped and having buttsecks with his brother. And Pegasus.
- Solomon Muto: - Yugi's pedo grandfather. Wears diapers. Lives in a hole under his illustrious game shop. Only surfaces in hope of secks.
- Maximillion Pegasus: - Pegasus is the only straight character in the entire show. He is also the creator of the Magic the Gathering, no I mean Pokemon...err, Digimon... or was it Dragon Ball Z? Oh yeah, it was Duel Monsters, the game this fucking show is about. He possesses the Millennium Eye that can see whats under your clothes, and tries to take over the Kaiba Corporation so that he could use its technology to see his dead wife, Cyndia meaning Pegasus is into necrophilia.
- Mai Valentine: - Anime version of Paris Hilton. If Paris Hilton were poor and dirty and wore the same clothes every day. Loves Harpies (more like herpes, amirite?).
- Marik Ishtar: - Whiny bitch that couldn't get a motorcycle because he had to guard a tomb that was the centerpiece of an ancient prophecy, which he has burned onto his back. Has a dark side that shoves his Millennium Rod into places that you wouldn't believe. If Ryo Bakura resembles a mop, he would be a feather duster. His face is made of putty and will stretch without warning.
Yu-Gay-Ho GX: Generation XXX
The original Yu-Gi-Oh! series recently concluded when everybody remembered that the card game was just a fucking fad and laughed at seeing formerly expensive packs of cards at Dollar General. Recently a spin-off called "Yu-Gi-Oh! GX: Reform School Boys" launched on Cartoon Network, all about people who somehow make a fucking living playing cards, enough of one to have a school about it. Wonders never cease.
In this series, gay 13 year old boys and some token girls that are only there for the tits and ass factor attend a school that teaches them how to play this easy card game. Various things try to destroy or control the school, like Longcat and the students must protect it, because if there was no school then there would be no plot for the next episode. And everybody knows kids love school.
Yu-Gay-Ho 5Ds:
The story starts off in a ghetto city where these niggers will rape the shit out of you by dueling...on a fucking motorcycle. Five duelists are chosen when they realize they have some odd marks encrypted on their arms. The new series releases a new type of a card, Synchro Monsters. Everybody knows that they just watch it for the lolis.
Actual Card Game,IRL Strategies and Relevance to the Internets
IRL Card Game
To go with the TV show, you to can spend/waste money on actual cards from the show. People take this game seriously, and regional tournaments are held for 13 year old boys and goatse lovers. Upper Deck Entertainment, the people behind the card game also decide to ban cards or restrict there usage in decks, making pieces of cardboard with Ink on them even more worthless. The most powerful card in the entire game is Shotgun mouthwash, which is powerful enough to win the game in one turn.
Ban Hammer Cards
Every six months Upper Deck Entertainment likes to fuck around with nerds who buy their crap, by banning cards that are too gay from being played IRL tournaments. Over the years this has caused major butthurt for nerds that call themselves Duelists, because when the finally get that one rare card they have spent 3 months tracking down on eBay, it finally gets the ban hammer up there ass.
Exodia the Butthurt
Other ways to become a winner is if you get all six pieces of "Exodia" in your hand at once. This includes the cards"Exodia the Forbidden One", "Left Arm of the Forbidden One", "Left Leg of the Forbidden One", "Right Leg of the Forbidden One", "Right Arm of the Forbidden One" and the legendary final piece "Giant Penis of the Forbidden One " FTW.
Please Save the Children
Besides draining the children's wallets dry, Konami (IRL card producers of Yu-Gi-Oh) also edited a lot of the images in the cards. Editing art often consists of removing guns, sex, blood, halos, nudity or changing the artwork altogether.
Konami Stays True to its Jap Roots
Jealous that Upper Deck Entertainment held major distribution rights in the good ol' United States, whose players were catching up to the Japanese in sheer strategy and talent, Konami decided to simply delete fucking everything in their contract with UDE in order to monopolize the entire franchise.
I'm in your hobby store, weighing your cards
As of last Thursday, a Nerd who rage quit the game, but before he did he sold his secret to profit. Holographic Cards in Yu-Gi-Oh weigh more then non Holographic Cards!!!1 Who would have thought. Anyway, Holographic cards are worth heaps but there's only 6 of them in a box of 24 packs of this crap. If you use a some scales, the same type a drug seller would use. Weigh the packs of cards before you buy them, in the store so the manager asks "WTF?" Buy the heaviest packs and presto, you now have shiny pieces of cardboard! This surprisingly gives much lulz though, because the next loser who buys all the other packs wont get shiny pieces of cardboard, though your still a loser for spending money on this shit card game in the first place.
In your base, weighing your cardboard!
Rating
The series has been so fucked over by 4KIDS that any plot that may have existed is editted out. Yu-Gi-Oh the Abridged Series, however, is an assful of fun for the whole family.
Yu-Gay-Ho
- Action: Hot card playin' action! Real paper cuts! Japanese school girls with short skirts! Tiny mouths!
- Lulz: No, unless you think that Yami has the same spiky hair for pubes.
- Regular Gayness: Go to your school's local Yu-Gi-Oh! club and you get an automatic sex-change as you pass through the door.
- Furry Gayness: Joey Wheeler is forced to wear a dogsuit twice. Self-explanatory.
- Merchandising: Buy some fuckin' cards! They're not just ink on cards! They're real monsters, motherfucker!
- Morals: The Power of Friendship! It can destroy more than Al-Qaeda! Worth an expired coupon at Roy Rogers! Buy our fucking cards, sheep!
Yu-Gi-Oh GX: Generation XXX
- Action: Bigger boobs on teenage girls then your mom. Just like the first series, every season ends with the fate of the world depending on a fucking card game, meaning its serious business.
- Lulz: "And this one time at Duelist Camp" is the only lulz worthy line in the first and second season of this show.
- Merchandising: More ink on cards...I mean monsters, motherfucker! And brace yourself for Elemental Hero Condom-man.
- Morals: Alright kids, it is ok to bring Yu-Gi-Oh cards to school IRL. Your teachers will teach how to NOT use them, and will take them off you to sell on eBay.
Rare Powerful Cards
 A very rare and powerful card. |
 I PLAY MY MILTOPIA FOR 3 DAMAGE!!111 |
 Go my Toon Trogdar! |
 Destroys Iraq themed decks. |
 He'll Do What!?!! |
 The rarest and most powerful card. |
 Sometimes, the obvious solution is the best, in every single season. |
 This one is real. |
| Other Yugioh Shtuff | ||||||||||||||||||||||
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See also
- Pokemon - The same fucked up bullshit as yugioh. In the eyes of pokemon fans, yugioh is a terrorist supported cult full of nerds, molesters, and retarded little kids.
- Digimon - See above.
- Beyblade - If Yugioh could turn some card game into a tv show, we can turn some fucking TOPS into one just as good!
- Cardcaptor Sakura - Fucked up girly anime about a "magical girl" loli and her yellow, winged furry companion gather cards and try to avoid being raped by pedophiles
- Neon Genesis Evangelion - Emos kill people that don't believe in jesus or something
- Zoids - Giant fucking anime robots beating the shit out of each other.
- Gundam Wing - Robots, except not furries
- Kelseyalicia, i dunno, the Pharaoh's bff
- Yu-Gi-Oh The Abridged Series An unfunny version of the Yu-Gi-Oh tv series. Seriously, who finds this shit clever or amusing?
- Assburgers - At least 100% of competitive yugioh players have this
External Links
- Yu-Gi-Oh IS made of AIDS and fail
- http://yugiohcardmaker.net/
- http://www.yugiohtheabridgedseries.com/episodes/
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Yu-Gi-Oh is part of a series on Anime. |
