Yahoo! Answers
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| "Yahoo! Answers" is the correct answer to the question "Education" on all job application forms. |
Yahoo! Answers is a modern-era Indian reserve of sorts for suicide hopefuls, teenagers, retards, americunts, and parents shocked to find their 4-year-old children masturbating with the dog to roam wild. Unsurprisingly, a large population of trolls has also reached Y!A. It is the largest idiot breeding ground on the internets, followed by YouTube and MySpace, which are tied. Let's face it, Yahoo Answers is asking for it.
The usual questions asked by dumbasses on Yahoo! Answers include:
- My wife lacks of discipline, how to improve? (some troll guru hit jackpot with this one, 20 butthurt answers in less than 5 hours)
- If God's creation is good, then why do women wear bras?
- My daughter wants to become a stripper?
- HELP! I ACCIDENTALY TURNED CAPS LOCK ON AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO TURN IT OFF!! ALL OF MY FRIENDS THINK IM MAD!!?
- How many know that bi omitting your MySpace orientation in Details section typically means you're not straight?
- How can I sue my school?
- Countries where it's customary to seek pleasure by sexually penetrating a person within 24 hours of her death?
- My bike was stolen. Can Someone Help Me?
- If you were forced at gunpoint to have sex with a white family member or a black stranger which would you choose?
- I think my dentist "did" something to my mouth?
- My girlfriend caugt me cheating on her, but i don't know how?
- Help! I fell on the vacuum cleaner!?
- What is the best church to join for the purpose of getting laid?
- Why do white people hate obama?
- How do I stop getting hard dick whenever I hold my girlfriend?
- Asians hate white people?
- Why couldn't Jesus turn the guys who had him prisoner into wine?
- So why is it that you see Korean/Asian girls with white guys but not the other way around?
- What do I need for an HIV-positive party?
- Why does my crotch smell like cat shit?
- Do you guys realize how hard it is being a lesbian born in a man's body?
- Can I get acne on my penis?
- Christians - how does it make you feel to know that the 12 apostles suffered these horrendous fates?
- Im a 13 year old boy and my nipples look kinda weird. and they have some scabs on them. could i have breast cancer?
- Why is it okay to drink cow's milk but not milk from our own species?
- I think my water broke help!?
- Why does my son's teddy bear glare at me with glowing red eyes?
- What dinosaur would Jesus ride?
- Does watching gay porn make me gay?
- I hate my past how can i change it?
- How turn computer monitor into mirror?
- How is babby formed?
- Will masterbation effect my running?
- How can someone have sex with rocks?
- Should we recycle our poop?
- When Goku turns SuperSaiyan do his pubes turn gold too?
- Why does mmy mouse stop working everytime I lift it up?
- How can I call the police?
- Anyone one else think that the man who shot up the holocaust mesuem in DC looks too Jewish?
- I just got a new plant and I was wondering where I can by photosynthesis so I can feed it ? ?
- Can u get pregnant w/ a vibrator?
- Can the City Do this?
- My 12 year old girlfriend decided to sleepover with me in the night of her birthday? - Asked by a 19 year old
- I CANT PUT A CONDOM ON!!!!!? - Asked by a 16 year old virgin
- How may I Download a new Computer?
- IS dandruff edible ??? ????...?
- If boys dont like me should i just become a lesbian?
- How can I pay my Girlfriend for Sex?
- How do you "save as" a document on microsoft word?
- I think i ruined my penis...?
- What is an erection, and how do you get one?
- How do I shot web??????See Also
- She won't make me a sandwich!
- How do I download water?
- Why do atheists always LOOSE debates to Christians?
- Can dogs who have been fixed masturbate?
- Is it okay for a guy to wear a bra for support?
- I'm shaving my vagina and I'm wondering what design I should make.?
- One of my testicles is missing?
- I keep doing poop in my pants for no reason is it because i am homosexual?
- Atheist turned Christian...where can I get my materials?
- I was bragging to my coworker, that i am a registered sex offender, on the registry, & she told me not to tell?
- What is it to be an hero?
Contents |
Heroes of Yahoo! Answers
- Yamster troll: Yahoo! Answers staff impersonator with Yahoo! hamster avatar.
- Shiraz: user with Iranian name and a gay nigger rainbow avatar who annoys the libs.
- ticiudorin. A Romanian. "I am from romania and I receive an web cam I don't know do put it work? What must I do with an A4TECH do see my friends."
- Wesley!!! Guilty of the following: Feeding his dog banana's, and letting it lick peanut butter off of his face. May or may not be a troll. Possibly has an Australian accent. Beware of seminal nerve leakage.
- Obama Bin Laden, who is one of many trolls in the politics section.
- bengalsfan1993 - One of YA's more resilient trolls, bengalsfan1993 has asked the same question at least 500 times: Why does a barefoot girl always die in horror movies?
- GingerNinjaCam: Newfag who launched a pointless and pitiful attack on every question from which lulz could be generated. Was promptly B& by Yahoo! Answers within 7 days.
- dot, unfunny newfag that does not understand what trolling is
- INTERNET HATE MACHINE, a user with Happy Negro as an avatar who has been b& over 9000 times, yet continues to make new accounts to troll the Marriage & Divorce section.
- Busan-man, along with Shinchon, has trolled the Korea section without getting suspended for a long time and ongoing. Along with other noobs.
- Juice_raves_alot is the most sexist girl on Yahoo! Answers. Her answer to everyone's weight loss questions is always "cocaine. lots and lots of cocaine." and she is passionate about giving advice to men who need it: because she's a psychotic lunatic basket case...
How to Play
Yahoo Answers works on a "point" system, where the more points you accumulate the more special yahoo abilities you access. This essentially making it an MMO, where most people grind question so that they can level up. You gain points from answering questions and voting for the best answer, lose them by asking questions and deleting your own answer. There are four main professions that a Yahoo! Answers player can choose from.
- Grinder - people who only answer questions to use up their daily limit, so that they can level-up the fastest. Typically, this means answering questions with inane comments such as "maybe" or "I don't know". These posts make up the majority of most answer threads.
- Spammer - someone who copy-pastes gigantic 20-paragraph identical responses on all questions of a similar topic, usually relating to how great Mormonism/Christianity/Atheism/Scientology/Eugorinalism is, without any real relevance to the question. Almost universally ignored.
- Troll - Here either to tell you how stupid you are when you ask a question, or to ask a stupid question in order to waste your time and piss you off. The only real use of answers, other than to produce tons of links to your website.
Woman - These type of people ask idiotic questions, and most of them are not aware of a website called google and rather have questions answered by 12 year old's.(or grinders)Except that there are no girls on the internet.
Other strategies:
- Gamer/exploiter - Unlike the "grinder", the exploiter differentiates between effectiveness and efficiency. Someone who archives answers to the most frequently asked questions (mFAQ) in a note-taking computer program in order to cut and paste the answers as soon as they appear on a category feed. The gamer/exploiter type tries to optimize the best-answer quotient. He's efficient in the Yahoo! Answers imaginary world, but a complete and total idiot when it comes to efficiency in IRL situations, since he wastes so much time on Yahoo! Answers doing repetitive work for the "Web 2.0" plantation, with no compensation whatsoever.
- Yahoo! Answers Team sycophant - This is someone who is brain-washed by "Web 2.0" utopianism, praises the Yahoo! Answers Team, the Yahoo! Answers service, or the "Web 2.0" mentality in general, uses Yahoo! Answers and "Web 2.0" vocabulary according to protocol, and thinks that the Internet runs on software, not hardware or money. A typical comment by such a user is he's addicted to Yahoo! Answers, that Yahoo! Answers is the best thing since sliced bread, yada, yada… As the good sycophant he is, he reports all lulzy posts as inappropriate. He's "politically correct" (does not tolerate anti-Jewish, racially aware or nationalistic comments) and antilulzy. Like the gamer/exploiter, a complete and utter moron who likes to be exploited by the owners of the "Web 2.0" plantation.
- Weight Loss Guru - Answer every weightloss question with "cocaine. lots and lots of cocaine."
In summary, Yahoo! Answers is exactly like 'Whose Line Is It Anyway?' - everything's made up and the points don't matter.
Answers categories ripe for trolling
- Social Science > Psychology
- Health > Mental Health
- Computers & Internet > Internet > Wikipedia
- Society & Culture > Cultures & Groups > Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgendered
- Social Science > Gender & Women's Studies
- Food & Drink > Vegetarian & Vegan
- Society & Culture > Religion & Spirituality
- Other - Cultures & Groups
How to troll specific categories
| Category | Demographic | Weaknesses | How to proceed |
|---|---|---|---|
| Any | Idiots | "Racism" | Only refer to blacks as "colored people" |
| Computers & Internet > Internet > Wikipedia | Wikipedia fans | Wikipedia cultism | Anything slightly critical of the Wikimedia Foundation or Bomis gets on their nerves. |
| Food & Drink > Vegetarian & Vegan | "New Age" idiots | ignorance of biology and metabolism | Attack their biology-illiteracy and New-Agism. Also ask questions on how to cook endangered species. |
| Health > Mental Health | psychiatristicists, psychologisticists, suicidal people, biology-illiterates | psychiatry's epistemological foundations (immaterialism, mentalism, society-nature dualism, mind-body dualism, "nature"-"nurture" dualism, psychism), physical weaknesses (suicidal tendencies, dependency on antidepressants, neuroleptics, self-"diagnosis") | You troll it by insinuating that psychiatry's foundations are wrong. If someone "asks" that he's about to commit suicide, kindly tell him to just do so, for the lulz. |
| Politics & Government > Politics | Fringe of the left and right extremists on both sides. | Talk about non-U.S. politics. Point out the success of the glorious Soviet Union. Expose pseudoconservatism. Attack Western religion (Christianity + Judaism), "egalitarianism", "democracy", abortionism and "sex ed" advocates. Mock New World Order prophesies. Say that Jews did 9/11. | |
| Social Science > Gender & Women's Studies | fans of the social sciences, tea-party "ladies" | resentment against ex-boyfriends, childlessness - make fun of Alanis Morrisette | Just approach it with the thing that annoys social-scienticists the most: the natural sciences. Tell the fucking feminists how resentful they are and what a bunch of losers they are. |
| Social Science > Psychology | immaterialists, psychologisticists, attention seekers, dream "interpreters" | aversion against sociobiology, behavioral biology, biology in general, and the natural sciences (materialism), ignorance of how sleep works | The solution is to troll the fuck out of them by saying things that are even slightly materialistic, even slightly natural-scientistic, even slightly biologistic, which is just enough to get on social-science fans' nerves. |
| Society & Culture > Cultures & Groups > Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgendered | homos, feminists, leftists | Ask why the people in the category chose to be gay. Also just respond with one word: "Fag". | |
| Society & Culture > Religion & Spirituality | Just start making fun of atheists. | Take on the pissed-off Wiccan goth kids. | |
| Society & Culture > Cultures & Groups > General Cultures and Groups | anti racist, niggers, and white nationalists | political correctness to the extreme | The key is to make any type of racists and start posting. Anything from good ol' nigger haters to nigger lovers will bring the lulz. |
| Politics & Government > Elections | Democrats and Republicans | Just pick either side of the political aisle and then smear the other side for laughs and get massive amounts of thumbs-up. Pick a side and stick with it. |
Gallery
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See Also
How is babby formed? - Meme derived from Yahoo Answers.
External Links
- This may be the best trolling on the web
- BugMeNot's page of y!answers accounts.
- An accurate depiction of Yahoo! Answers users.
- Collection of questions from Yahoo! Answers.
- Search & Troll these 25 users
- Collection of some of the most epic threads
- Oh NOES! A petition to ip ban trolls from Yahoo! Answers. HOW TERRIFYING!
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Yahoo! Answers is part of a series on Trolls. |
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 Yahoo! Answers is part of a series on Web 2.0 | Web 2.0 • Social networking • Social networking sites • Blogging • Blogosphere • PHP • Hypercube • Podcasting • Wikiing • Ajax • Ruby on Rails • Internet Humanitarianism • X is not your personal army • User-generated content • ITunes Store
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