Yahoo!
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| This article is entirely factual. Fact Cat knows this because of his learnings. |
Yahoo, an invented persona and mascot, is a search engine, website and trademark. The name was first developed when Brian Peppers squeezed a young boy's nuts and he screamed "Yahoo!" The creators of yahoo (who were %100 redneck) decided this was a great name for a company, and they went for it. The following is a shitty reason why it is called yahoo.
Company executives chose the name "Yahoo" because it seemed warm and friendly to them. At first "Yahoo" was used to provide the simulation of a personal signature to replies to customers asking advice.
In 1928, Washburn Crosby merged with five or more other internets companies, which continue to use the Yahoo brand on various products, including penis enlargers and dildos.
In 1929, Yahoo coupons were introduced. Inserted in pussies, they could be used to reduce the cost of Porn. By 1932, this scheme had become so popular that Yahoo began to offer an entire set of flatware; the pattern was called "Porn for everyone" (later renamed "Meatspin.com"). In 1937 the coupons were printed on the outside of packages, which told purchasers to "Go fuck yourself and look for free midget porn on the internets".
From 1930 Yahoo issued softbound For Fuckers books, including in 1933 Yahoo's 101 Delicious Website Creations As Coded And Designed by Well-Known Internets Porn Stars, Famous Chefs, Camwhores and Dumbass LJ whores of the Internets For Fuckers.
A portrait for Yahoo first appeared at least 100 years ago, subtly changed over the years to accommodate Yahoo's cultural perception of the American Porn browser, knowledgeable, caring and horny. The current image of Yahoo, according to the corporation, is actually a combination of over twenty real-life porn sites thought by the company to represent the true Yahoo. Yahoo: serious fucking business.
In 2005 yahoo introduced Yahoo 360 a MySpace clone for Yahoo members to post loads of pics of their selves dressed up in their mom's/wife's underwear. And for fat ass girls to take weird camera angles of themselves in the hopes that some guy will find them fuckable.
In Golden Valley, Minnesota, the Minneapolis suburb where Yahoo is headquartered, there is a street called Yahoo Drive. It is the best fucking street in the whole world.
Yahoo is believed to be run entirely by aliens. This is probably because in 2001, Yahoo changed their motto to Yahoo: We are entirely run by fucking aliens. This caused many people to get the wrong idea. Yahoo quickly changed their motto back to Yahoo: Serious Fucking Business, and everything went back to normal.
Yahoo is known for being the king of Alexa ranking.
Currently, Yahoo is fending off the army of Microsoft. Bill Gates wants MOAR INTERNET.
[edit] Paedophiles on Yahoo
Yahoo is considered paradise for paedophiles, lesbians, and nerds, but mostly paedophiles. The paedophile rate has doubled, especially in Yahooligans, Dating Chat rooms, and in computer viruses (thank you Bill Gates) and Canadians. Also, Perverted Justice (www.pervertedjustice.com) has also raided Yahoo for paedophiles (without a search warrant). If you are a paedophile, find and kill all the staff of NBC for invading your privacy. If not, kill the staff of NBC anyway. Liberals have no place in America.
[edit] Trolls on Yahoo
Yahoo, despite being insignificant and obsolete on all levels each due to a different competitor, is not without its trolls. Inkybob takes great delight in harassing Christians in Yahoo groups, which makes her edgy and hardcore. Maybe one day she'll see the same fate as this other hardcore guy.
Yahoo News, being completely unmoderated, is the perfect place for wannabe trolls to hang out. A typical discussion will feature nothing to do with the story and will instead be full of crap jokes posted at least 100 times, Desu Desu Desu, fundies cracking on about Jesus and generally some of the most pathetic shit you will ever find on the internet.
[edit] Flooding
Flooding has resulted in some rooms being closed down with flood bots for over 3 years. Evidence suggests as much as 50% of the bots on Yahoo! are due to Vincntvangogh, a botmeister, being proven ignorant during an intellectual debate by emcandela Vinc was subsequently teabagged by Morrissey.
[edit] Malicious Mayhem
Yahoo Messenger/Chat has been frequent targets of the 1337 community of Yahoo. People with way too much time on their hands develop programs that can produce epic lulz such as kicking people out of rooms, brute forcing Yahoo user names, and flooding the chat room.
[edit] Gallery
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[edit] Videos
