XBox
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
If you came to this article looking for Xbox's crippled younger brother, see Xbox 360
The Microsoft Xbox, AKA the ecks bawks, hex box, DirectXbox, and Microsofts greedy attempt to make more money, was Microsoft's first attempt at making a video game console. While being the most powerful of the 4 consoles released in it's generation, it was also known as the best capable console for online play, or better yet, the console that costed way too damn much to play online, as well as harboring the most retarded online gaming community of sqeakers, fratboys, and niggers ever unleashed on the poor world: Xbox Live. It is this that has given the Xbox so many fanboys and just as many anti-fanboys.
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History
Back in 1998, console gaming was starting to be noticed a bit more, and Microsoft was starting to notice how bad PC gaming was loosing to console gaming. More people were starting to play video games, and Microsoft obviously needed to make more money. You know, because obviously Windows wasn't making them enough money already. So they helped Sega develop an operating system for their Dreamcast to pull a little money in for themselves. But this still wasn't enough, no, they wanted their own gaming system. So in 2001, they released the Microsoft Xbox. Originally, the launch title was going to be a game called Malice, but it was switched to Halo: Combat Evolved, because even the most hardcore Halo haters would admit that they would rather play as some cyborg dude blasting aliens then as a little girl with a mallet. This decision was wise, as Halo: Combat Evolved was the only thing that saved Microsoft's ass from becoming like Sega at the time. As the xbox got more games, it got more support from people and became popular across the globe, except Japan, because you know, obviously they won't play anything that isn't an RPG, dating sim, or anything Nintendo shoves down their throats. Eventually, Microsoft knocked Nintendo out of 2nd place and competed with the Playstation 2 (moar liek GAYstation amirite?) in a battle of epic proportions, temporarily leaving Nintendo behind in the dust.
Memorable Games
Some of these games have prequels on the Dreamcast. See this section on the Dreamcast article.
Here are some of the most memorable games the xbox had to offer. Feel free to add any.
- Blinx the Time Sweeper - Basically you play as this furry who can gain EXTREME VCR styled time control powers by killing these monster thingies.
- Halo 1 and 2 - Possibly the 2 most overrated games on the Xbox. However if you ask a NORMAL Xbox Live player about them, they will tell you that those two games are the best games ever made.
- JSRF: JetSetRadioFuture - A remake of it's predecessor Jet Grind Radio on the Dreamcast. This game's fanbase claims that it is the most underrated and unheard of game on the Xbox, which is fucking bullshit because the game was bundled with the Xbox on Christmas 2002. Ever wanted to skate around and break the law while somehow managing to beat the shit out of police officers just by spraying them with spray cans? Now you can!
- Mech Assault - Basically, the whole incredibly simplistic plot in a nutshell is that you've landed on a planet with 2 other people, who's only purpose is to annoy the fuck out of you. You must destroy the evil dudes on this planet and you must destroy their orbital guns before they "OMG KILL US ALL".
- Shenmue II - This game continues Ryo's ridiculous quest to not move on with his life and kill the asshole who killed his Father.
Internal Structure
On the outside, the Xbox looks like a gaming console. But if you take a look inside, you'll notice that inside it's ironically the thing Microsoft DIDN'T want it to be, a PC. It had a motherboard, a CD-ROM drive, a hard drive, almost EVERYTHING a normal PC had. Because of this bad mistake Microsoft made, Linux fags cummed all over the place rejoicing at how easy it was to hack the Xbox and put their favorite shitty operating system over it, no mod chips needed. Out of all the gaming consoles of that generation, the Xbox was probably the easiest to hack because of it's ironic design.
Meme Status
Lets face it. The Xbox console itself if pretty fucking big. It's so huge that the only known console that is bigger than an Xbox is the Atari 5200. The epic size of the Xbox landed itself a meme probably originating from 4chan called "XBOX HUEG". This meme was usually used to tell just how "HUEG" an item was. However, ever since the Xbox's younger brother, the Xbox 360 hit the market, the meme officially became old and outdated, since the only thing HUEG about the 360 is it's ridiculously over sized power cord, which is more of it's own joke.
Nigras and the Xbox
If you were stupid enough to subscribe to Microsoft's shitty and laggy Xbox Live membership, you'd instantly notice how many nigras are present online. The fucking Halo 2 servers are dominated by these mother fuckers who roam around with extremely deep and raspy, annoying, voices and they sound like they're choking every time they laugh because of their shitty 99 cent store Xbox headsets. Studies of this strange phenomenon suggest that blacks are attracted to these Xboxs due to the fact their size and color remind them of their womminz fat black asses. If you encounter one of these people, you will notice how they will love to talk about the west coast, say the word "fuck" at least 20 times (motherfucker counts too), and how their insults very from their white counterparts. The typical white insult is "faggot", while the typical black insult involves dicks and shoving things up an ass. At least they have something in common, right?
Xbox Live Back in the Day
For Xbox Live as it is now, see Xbox Live
Surprisingly before the service got a huge facelift with the 360, it had the same retarded community as it does now, only a bit smaller. Except instead of playing Halo 3, Call of Duty 4, Street Fighter IV, Grand Theft Auto IV, and Gears of War 2, they could be found playing Halo 2, Call of Duty: Finest Hour, and a fuckton of sports games. Don't believe me? This video should clear all doubts you have:
If you know of any old xbox live videos similar to this one, please add them.
SECRETS!!!11
- The X-box makes its own delicious pork gravy.
- If you dip your urethra in Ora-Jel and place it in your Xbox, you can unlock the original Discs of Tron game.
- The Xbox can help you reach OT-III in the Church of Scientology.
- Xbox is TEH ROAD.
ED Users Who Have an XBox But Are Too Busy Editing ED to Play It
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See Also
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