Wisconsin
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Wisconsin (or as the locals call it, WisCAAAAANsin) is a huge shithole in the Midwest. The birthplace of the Republican Party (wtf, why not Texas?), it houses 73% of the country's fat people, rednecks, alcoholics and Jews. The typical Wisconsin resident is a truck driver who owns a farm and is married to a cow. In fact, if you look at a satellite photograph of Wisconsin, you will see lots of green from the state's massive amount of corn and John Deere tractors.
If you are lucky enough to stumble upon an inhabited location in Wisconsin, you will find over 9000 Indian casinos, bars, and liquor stores. There are no houses in these cities because everyone lives in underground retirement homes.
History
At least 100 years ago, some French guy named Jean Luc-Picard became Wisconsin's first Space captain, landing in a cornfield near modern-day Corn Bay in search of child pornography. Sadly, all he found were red people and corn.
After the Revolution, Wisconsin was part of the U.S. Useless Territory. It was then governed as part of AIDS Ranch, Faggot dump, and Michigan. Settlement began when the first two public eBay offices opened.
The state STD is AIDS (aka faggot disease), which reflects Wisconsin's early sexual history. Many town names such as AIDS Point recall a period at least 100 years ago when Wisconsin was an important sexual concentration camp.
After all of this faggotry occurred, larger numbers of Jews arrived, and the state subsequently became over one-third Ash. Most became small business owners, especially known for their nick knack shops and dildo emporiums. Others moved to Milwaukee to find employment and make their usual profit from the city's high concentration of gullible nigras.
Geography
The landscape of Wisconsin was formed by the movement of glaciers during the ice age. These glaciers changed the land by carving out bluffs and depositing soil to form Wisconsin's trademark hills. Unfortunately, these glaciers occurred thousands of years ago when civilization did not exist. So instead of rightfully destroying Wisconsin and all of its backwards white trash inhabitants, it turned the area into an outdoors haven for hicks throughout the Midwest who can't afford a real vacation.
Fortunately, there is still hope. Wisconsin shares borders with two of the Great Lakes. If global warming - the only remaining political tool of dirty, pot-smoking hippies - does exist, it will cause these lakes to flood most of Wisconsin, turning the land into a boiling stew of cheese, beer, bratwurst, flannel jackets, 80s rock cassettes, and the Dutch.
Famous Wisconsin residents
- Brett Favre
- Senator Joseph Raymond McCarthy
- Jeffrey Dahmer
- Liberace
- Ed Gein
- Mike Nelson
- Max Hardcore
- the Violent Femmes
- 3/4 of the members of Garbage
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