Winston Churchill

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

Winston Churchill was some old fat as fuck, guy with bad teeth who lived before the internets. He pwned Adolf Hitler and won World War II with Stalin while smoking Sigmund Freud.

Winston Churchill's status as a legend is cemented by the fact that he did the above pwning whilst drunk on whiskey and with mental health problems. He was also fond of nibbling upon cocaine lozenges in order to steel himself for public appearances. Srsly.

The common misconception of Hitler having only one testicle actually started when Churchill taped his bollocks together as a practical joke. This was thought to be one of the causes of the second world war.

[edit] Facts

He possessed a cat before dying, and was run over by a truck four years after possessing the cat. His owner, though, brought him back to life by burying him in a pet cemetary, when he was killed by his owner by stabbing because he was unusual. Winston Churchill was also born in the toilet of a women's club, after his mom had sex for the lulz, and put off having an abortion for even more lulz.

On may 3rd, 1943 Winston Churchill was accused of keeping children in his house and beating, raping and stabbing them but even worse he was accused of shitting on an English flag. He was resurrected in may 3rd, 2003. The Portuguese police are now holding him as an official suspect, almost 100% of expert criminologists now believe that he has Maddie in his basement, though they have not determined whether she'd be alive or dead.