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Wimmins
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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If you're actually reading this you've probably only seen them. But, what are "wimmin"?
A wimmin (plural wimmins, alternatively spelled woman/women) is the useless mass of flesh that surrounds the lukewarm hole in their crotch. They were created by God for the enjoyment of men at least 5000 years ago. As porn and movies have reminded us, their sole purpose in life is to cook, clean, fuck, and swallow cum.
The only topic of interest about a woman is whether she spits or swallows. It is also wise to remember to jizz in her hair and punch her in the face 'coz wimminz just loooove when a guy does that. It was wimmin's fault that the great man was expelled from the great garden of Eden, where it is said that all of your childhood wishes would come true. Good fucking work, wimmins. This is why we don't trust you with anything anymore. Fuck, you've ruined everything. Now go make me a sandwich whilst sucking my cock, whore.
Contents |
General facts
Though debated otherwise by some feminists, women are NOT people. In addition to being far less intelligent than men, they are also incapable of making decisions as well as men due to having their period fuck up the last bit of brain activity with hormonal imbalance all the time. To see actual proof of this, visit the antithesis to this page - men. Being genetically inferior and incapable of taking responsibility for their actions (have you noticed that nothing is ever their fault?), they are to be accompanied by a male at all times.
A globally accepted fact is that men are entitled to pussy, and just because it is attached to a woman, doesn't mean they have rightful control of it. Women are objects, ONLY useful for cooking, cleaning and sexytimes (when not having their period, sick fuck) especially when you can forget the condom, and should be treated as such.
Their periods attract bears. Not the type of bear a twink would go balls deep on, but in fact a blood hungry woods-creature. Pedobear has also been seen lurking around wimmins who are perioding. The general myth is that the bears can smell the menstruation (which has recently been proven with empirical evidence to be true). This kinda shit worries men.
It's a well known fact that men are better than women, the reason is that when the baby is first created in the vagina, it's always a female, but if the baby box is lucky, then it become a man. Before human evolution, we all were women, but then god decided to create man, and well, kept women to stop homosexuality from growing. It all makes sense when it comes to ungrowing a fuck hole.
The man is smarter, stronger, richer, and more successful in everything. Men only really use women so they don't have to cook, clean and take care of babby. In truth, a man could probably do a better job at these things than a woman ever could, but it's nice to have the service. In religion, they say that man is a copy of God, which means that a woman is a copy of a copy, so even in religion, man is better.
A woman's ability to create or invent anything is limited to putting out babies, which is evident in the lack of patents filed in by women, even after countless millennia of feminist boohaa whining: "if we only got a chance, we would show you, you patriarchal haet machine male establishment". So women should just shut up and give head.
According to Dr. Wolfenstein of the Blantzenberg Institute, "women equal holes (and they are stupid)."
Women hoard probiotics because they are obsessed with their feces. If they could, they'd probably go snorkeling in the sewers.
| — Arguecat3, Example of an acceptable woman. |
How They are Made
ALWAYS USE LUBE GENTLEMEN
A Real Man's Guide to the Inferior Species
Communicating with a woman
To avoid wasting time making pointless attempts to have logical, intellectually satisfying verbal communication with women, three basic communication techniques depicted here are enough:
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 Wat to do when a woman starts talking. |
Fights with women
Women have "evolved" to have verbal fights with men, so that they can either feel powerful, try to deny a man his rightful use of her vagina or simply because they like drama, losing battles and being revenge-fucked. An interesting article goes on about the many ways men might try to fight back with women. Although all men know the proper way is to tell her once. If that doesn't work, send that sassy bitch flying into the kitchen with a swift cunt punt. Once in the kitchen, she will feel obliged to build you a sandwich.
 DYNAMIC ENTRY! |
 Superman approves.. |
 .. and so does Vader! |
 Some women believe the truth, but only after it has been slapped into them. |
Obtaining a Woman
The fact that you read this probably means that you have never had sex with a woman. Ever. Here is what you have to do:
- BE A CUNT. An arrogant, shallow cunt. The last thing a woman wants and deserves is respect.
- Looks are everything when it comes to women. If you don't look like an androgynous celebrity that's 30 pounds underweight, then... well, you're not getting a woman. Ever.
- If you think women give two shits about personality, you clearly haven't been around very many females. Lose some weight, fatty, and start making money.
- Get at least a basic sense of fashion and hygiene.
- When you go out trolling for pussy, remember that you have an invisible label on your forehead. A label that every woman (and gay man) can read. A label that you don't even know is there. This label is the main, primary thing that women judge you by. On it it written a single number: the total retail value of the clothes that you are wearing.
- Clothes are everything. Read any "romance" book. Before anything "romantic" happens, the author will always, always, describe the clothes that the hero and heoine are wearing, in precise and yet economical detail.
- Don't forget shoes. Women are downright weird about shoes.
- The most important thing to keeping a woman is to pretend you give a shit about her, which is honestly not an easy task.
- Women will trade anything for chocolate. The down side is, chocolate will eventually make them fat
- Women like drama, and to get one you might have to pretend like you do too. Like, actually be able to express your emotions, you retard (yes, I know. It's hard. Hang in there, Fabio).
- Women have to be convinced that you are a natural leader before they are willing to have sex with you. Since you most likely aren't, you will have to pretend that you are for at least the 20 first dates, or she will choose someone with actual muscles, brains and a fat wallet, whose personality characteristics are typically summed up by another body part. Thankfully, there is help available.
- Fuck fat chicks until something else comes along. Just don't forget to wear a rubber, cause everyone else that isn't getting any has been, is, and will be fucking the same fat chicks, hence => increased risk. (Plus, you don't want fat kids...do you now?)
- Don't be afraid to show your power over her by smacking her around when she steps out of line.
- Dominate her physically. Women (mostly low-self-esteemed-women) like the idea that a guy can't resist getting a little rough with them.
- Remember, women don't like anal sex. They love it. The more they scream and tell you to stop, the better you're pleasing them!
- On the other hand, you can ignore all of the above if you have money or a big cock. Women fuck anything that pays. All women, not most.
Conclusion: easiest way to get sex is to use either:
- Lots and lots of your hard earned money (you might as well set it aflame because the money grabbing leeches will require all of it for using their vaginas once for a place to put your penis in.) or...
- Just a bit of money. In Vegas. With a hooker. And she will give you better head anyway, being a professional. So don't do 1. Do 2. Cheaper. Better.
The best way to pick up women is show them respect (see video for example):
| Show me your Genitals Show me your Genitals 2 I kill people |
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Previous Video | Next Video |
Normal Behaviors of women and dealing with them
Once you have found a suitable piece of property, you will need to know about certain attributes they possess, in order to best keep your bitch in line.
- Women may look inside your wallet or any other place they suspect you may have money. You have to nip this in the bud and tell her if you catch her doing this, you will donkey punch her.
- Women may want to watch lifetime channel. BEWARE! If you let them watch this, they may think they're a victim! Dispose of this channel by any means necessary.
- Women are like children and need structure and discipline. They will try to get away with as much as they can, and it is your job to stop them.
- If they are of the "educated" / "clever" -breed, they might crave oddities like *rights* (naturally without any obligations attached to those rights) or *power* (naturally without responsibility for the mayhem they cause). (Hmmm...this just happened to you? Sorry, can't help bro'. You're screwed. She is the secretary of state now.)
- Women are natural freeloaders. Get used to never being appreciated for anything.
- Women also get hyperjealous of anything that brings a man pleasure that is not them (although they deny access to the pleasures they have to offer, that is, hole 1, hole 2 or hole 3). For this reason, they are a leading cause of homosexuality.
- Some women are fans of such boring activities as women's sports (known to the Jews as girl's sports), and they may try to drag you to such events. In such cases, a cunt punch or bitch slap is in order.
- If you want to piss a (hot) woman off then the best way to do this is simply just ignore her. Even though a hot woman would never fuck you because you're a loser, she still gets mad because she thinks she deserves the attention because she's hot. Women hate it when guys ignore them.
Dangers
There are numerous dangers inherent to dealing with women, although you probably don't need to know them because you already have plans that don't involve them. For posterity, however, we'll outline the following risks: In addition to the fact that they're all batshit crazy, a man must be aware the following perils associated with pursuing a relationship with a woman:
- Under no circumstances should you do what a woman tells you to. You have to learn to sense what she wants, not what she says she wants.
- Women lack verbal communication skills, logic, and coherence in their weepy, melodramatic ramblings. Despite this, in addition to adhering to #1 above, you must create the illusion that her psychotic, incoherent babble makes sense. Failing in this, she will start to cry (see below) and the fucktarded, insane prattle will only amplify, leaving limited options to shutting her up.
- Dangers #1 and 2 exist because all women are attention whores. There are no exceptions. It is a law of nature and nothing can be done to change it.
- Incorrectly configured Toilet Seats can easily trigger #2.
- Through a combination of mindfucking and jiggling boobies, women will attempt to coerce men into a form of servitude known as the "Friend Zone" or worse, marriage. Both of these should be avoided at all costs, as they have all the drawbacks of a girlfriend with feeble to non-existent sex.
- Said mindfucking will permanently turn you into a faggot in no time.
- Women will call the cops if you prove them right too much. Aim for the back of the head - cops can't see bruises covered by hair.
- Never let a woman drive.
- Never let them read Cosmopolitan. It may trick them into thinking they have some use beyond food preparation and fucking.
- Medical evidence suggests women can survive on attention and sperm alone. Starve her of the former and forcefeed her the latter. If she insists on eating something other than cum, promptly induce an eating disorder by subtly asking if she's gained weight every other day.
- Women don't play video games. Such activities require too much of their pea-sized brains.
- Prolonged association with a woman will result in insanity (as theirs is contagious), staggering levels of faggotry, and ultimately an hero.
Fact: There are no girls on the internets.[no citation needed]
There are no girls on the internet no matter what. That girl who wrote your name on her tits for you. Its a dude who can photoshop your name on a pair of tits he found on Google images. Congratulations you sent a picture of your dick to that man.
If by some accident a girl does access the internet, she is either fat, ugly, or a trap.
Things women will do to you
More dangerous than they look,dont let the following happen to you.
- Take half of your income (and many others) despite not working a day in their lives.
- Kick you in the balls without any legal repercussions. (Women love doing this and will try to do it at every chance they get)
- Legally cut your dick off in your sleep,blame rape,then throw it in some field at 2am.
- Trick you into getting a rapex stuck to your cock,frame you for rape,and then get voluntarily gang-raped by niggers.
Facts about Girls Bathrooms
What's up with girls' bathrooms? Check it out!
- Things to know:
- Girls' bathrooms are big.
- Girls' bathrooms are clean.
- 75% of girls' vaginas are bleeding at any given time.
- Girls' bathrooms are the opposite of your dick.
- Most girls that spend time together have their period at around the same time. This is due to some hormonal telepathy shit that you'd never understand, and is referred to as "French Whorehouse Syndrome". (Handy, it's just easier to share pads if the cows go in a herd).
Women like to go in the bathrooms in packs so they can shit at the same time. They then like to talk about teh juicy cock and serious issues . All while releasing their hot steamy piss from their vagina. No lie. (Actually they never talk about sex. They also find their clits only when a man shows it to them or when they turn 30)
Inventions by Women
- COBOL programming language, conceived by Rear Admiral Grace Murray Hopper
- Correction fluid, invented by Bette Nesmith Graham (good to correct some of the mistakes women make)
- Disposable diaper, invented by Marion O'Brien Donovan and famously used by space pioneer and fellow woman Lisa Nowak
- Hugbox, invented by Dr. Temple Grandin
- Rape-aXe, invented by Sonette Ehlers
- The Biting Pear of Salamanca, painted by Ursula Vernon
- Windscreen wipers (windshield wipers in American), invented by Mary Anderson
- Chocolate chip cookies, invented by Ruth Graves Wakefield
Multitasking
"Wimmin can multitask whilst putting the toilet seat down unlike men," is a well known wo-meme in the world of real. What is multitasking? It is defined by Wikidictionary as "the ability to do several things badly instead of one thing properly. Possibly whilst gossiping to your friends on your mobile." This proves that wimmin is the superior.
American Quilts
As demonstrated by Winona Ryder in the film "How To Glue An American Quilt", this is a wimmin invention in which the verbal non-patriarchal history of the family is recorded by collecting together important bits of material - Uncle OJ's blood-stained gloves, Auntie Pedobear's rape gag, Monica Lewinsky's stained dress, used femidoms, etc - and assembling a quilt, which is a sort of posh dog blanket. Only wimmin can do this as they has a higher tolerance to inconsequential and boring family values bullshit.
Lorenzo's Oil
As discovered by Winona Ryder and possibly Cher in the wimmin film "Mermaids", Lorenzo's Oil is a cure for retards. Made of one third civit cum, one third mother love and one third LSD, this magic cure not found by Westernised male-controlled "science" can transform your average asspie into a productive member of the United Nations Peace Corp. (Doesn't work on poor black kids dying of malaria.)
Radiation
First discovered by Marie Curie, who - by using her husband as a test subject - managed to kill him off and claim his Nobel Prize. Wimmin is especially skilful on radiations, which include mobile tower radiations, fluoride in the water radiations, calorie radiations, cellulite radiations, ME, being-allergic-to-everything-in-the-modern-world-including-the-hum-from-electric-wires radiations and repetitive stress of the vocal chords. The cure for these radiations often involves the high frequency whine produced by moronic housewives complaining about their illnesses on Oprah, and proves that wimmin should have been allowed to do laboratories instead of staying in the kitchen and shutting the fuck up.
Pleather and DNA
DNA was invented by the lady that worked at the photo-developing counter at Boots - Rosalind Franklin - by looking at some X-ray photos accidentally included among the holiday snaps. Her invention was raped from her CV by wimmin-hating patriarchal racist capitalists or something.
Pleather was invented by wimmin who had had lots of fun wearing fur coats until they realised fur was made from little fluffy kitties and stuff. (See Peta Wilson). Now not even female motorcyclists who have been decapitated by collision with a lorry due to their poor road skillz would be seen dead in real leather from poor genocided cows.
Women and Chocolate
A dangerous combination is that of women and chocolate. While women can be baited with chocolate, the downside is that they will neglect their duties in bed if given even a tiny bit of chocolate. They have been known to masturbate with chocolate, which shows your obvious lack in the bedroom. Be wary men, giving such a substance to a woman will force her into deep orgasms. There are signs to watch out for if your woman is having an affair with chocolate. Is she...
- Neglecting her duties in the bedroom?
- Drooling brown instead of white after an orgasm?
- Watching Ghirardelli commercials while masturbating?
If any of these apply to you and your woman, there are steps to keep your woman on track.
- Throw away all her chocolate stash.
- Show an empty wrapper to her whilst hitting her nose and telling her, firmly and confidently, "No! Bad woman!"
- Make her sleep on the floor until she learns that her behavior is unacceptable.
Women Who try to Fight Back
 The end product of the female genome, 13 million years of evolution later. |
 What to do if you are ever confronted by a feminist. |
 Advice worthy of a PROTIP. |
 WTF indeed. |
Women's Reaction to this Article
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| Cooking A Documentary of the Stupidity of Women Women Will Make You Facepalm How It's Done Why Women Shouldn't Be Allowed Behind The Wheel Women will eat sentient chocolate beings For pity's sake - never let them drive Fat Women Pay Good Money to be Told Not to Eat Why Women Shouldn't Use The Internet ALL GIRLS WATCH THIS VIDEO Finally they admit it |
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Delicious Copypasta
Copypasta 1
I have come to see a link between the rise of women, their increasing rights, involvement in politics, and the feminist movement and the increasing stupidity, perversion of culture, and all around degeneracy in the west. These irrational, pseudo-sentient life forms have done naught but sap the life out of intellectual and powerful men over the last hundred years or so, and we men have made the mistake of brainwashing ourselves to believe that these succubi are actual people. Their whole kind are nothing more than tools for procreation, unfit to live without a patron's approval.
Allow me to make my case.
Women are naturally cowards. I myself have met women who have admitted to me that they and their whole kind are born cowards. They are timid creatures whose emotions overpower their logic and rationality, and they are therefore unfit to lead. Their extreme emotions are triggered by slight and unimportant things, and with these worries they hinder the progress of man. Remember the last time your girlfriend got angry at you for that thing that to this day you have no idea what she was talking about? Imagine that ruling a society or a country. Imagine that fight being with another world leader. Imagine an irrational war because of a woman's errant actions. I'm glad Hillary lost so that America may live a few years longer.
Mankind used to be male dominated, and with good reason. Women knew their place, and men kept them there. Now, let's look at the achievements in this long period of history. We have such political achievements as the republic and the democracy. We then have technological advancements such as irrigation, the hanging gardens, the printing press, electricity, factories, cars, computers, and now even the internet. We also have such historical achievements like the Neolithic Revolution, the American and French revolutions. We have the great thinkers of history, like Socrates, Aristotle, Boethius, Bacon, Marx, Nietzsche, Borh, and, of course, Einstein. Who do you think was the most intelligent person in history, who could change the way you think, whose infinite wisdom puts this person on level with the gods? He was a man, wasn't he? Back when we were a male dominated society, men did not even love women. Most of the great men of history were gay, only having wives for children. Shakespeare was gay, Da Vinci was gay, to name a few. Men can survive without women (for lack of children, granted). Take modern gay people for example. Why do you think they are so happy? With gene science as it is now, we can make humans effectively enough without women soon enough. Jesus Christ.
Now, let's look at more modern times, shall we? In 1920, women gained the right to vote (oh, and then there was a recession, coincidence? Hardly). Coincidentally, we have not had a good president since the nineteenth century. In 1966, we had a cultural revolution. Great and all, but that's when police and the government became the bad guys. Degeneracy ran wild and became commonly accepted as culture. Then, come 1977, the Feminist movement. That was the death knell of the west as it was formerly known. Since these cum dumpsters decided they were people too, the west has become one grand showing of Dumb and Dumber. We now have what has to be the stupidest couple of generations since the Salem witch trials. We no longer have great philosophers; we no longer have great authors. We have become a nation glued to MTV and teenNICK. Remember G4TV? That's pretty much all of America at this point. And for God's sake, just look at our teenagers. What have we done to let our youth become so terribly corrupted and utterly stupid? To quote Chuck Palahniuk, "We are a generation of men raised by women". We have indeed let ourselves be led astray by the foolish little minds of women.
The fact that what I say, by modern standards, is sexist and therefore bad is further proof that we have been brainwashed. Women have convinced us that they have sufficient mental capacity to feel real emotion and can therefore be "hurt" and that we need to protect them. This is a lie. Now get me something to eat bitch.
Copypasta 2
There are profound differences between men and women in world view and mode of thought. These are evident from the literature they create, the literature they consume and the way they comport themselves over the spans of their careers.
The archetypal chick flick "Gone with the Wind" is described in its own advertising as "a searing tale of passion in a world gone mad". Essentially, it's about the feelings of the protagonist in a world that is utterly beyond the protagonist's control. If a Mills and Boon novel has a happy ending, it's provided by the intervention of a man. At no point does a woman attempt to change her world. She adapts to it, cries about it, or waits for a man to change it for her.
Men, by contrast, write about almost nothing but taking control of their world, and the mechanics by which this is attempted.
Another fundamental difference is the list thing. Men teach one another the mechanism, the distilled principle, because there is less to remember and it has to be taken in context anyway. Women want a fixed context and rote instructions. If you try to teach them the principles instead, they dont listen and they get angry, saying "I don't care why, I just asked you to tell me what to do". If you give them a list of steps it must be exhaustive like a computer program because (also like a computer program) if context changes breaking the procedure or if anything has been omitted, blame is ascribed to the writer of the procedure.
A direct consequence of this intellectual inflexibility is that women do not create tools. They can be taught to use them, often very well, provided that the use of the tool can be described as lists of steps - programs!
Visit a craft shop like Spotlight. It will be crawling with women who think they are creative. In fact all they ever do is stick glitter to boxes, or cut cloth according to a plan that was almost certainly created by a man, before stitching it together using a sewing machine definitely both invented and made for them by men. Some of them will vary the patterns, but creation ex nihilo is a behaviour exhibited almost exclusively by men.
I suppose you could say that women play god using the thing between their legs, whereas men use the thing between their ears. This is probably acculturated behaviour. Possibly it is an artifact, in men, of the inability to play god the easy way; certainly many of us see our creations as children of sorts.
See Also
- Cum
- Tits
- Vagoo
- Squirting
- 16-year-old girl
- Slut
- Dick Masterson
- Feminism
- Girl Drama
- Mickyy Moo
- Man
- Menstrual painting
- Misogyny
- No girls on the internet
- Powerful Women International
- Period
- Heather Howland The perfect woman
- Gossiprocks
- Sean Connery
- Your Mom
- Emilie Autumn
- Simon Sheppard (should dictate the actions of all women)
External Links
- Exclusive Photo: Woman Driver Hits Deer, doesn't Notice
- The wonderful Maleism Facebook Group. Join NAO!
- Oh, you won a bowling title. La-di-dah
- A well-thought, open minded essay on women by the German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer
- A great feminist website
- An example of a woman who has not spent enough time in the kitchen.
- Further proof that women can't do anything right (like play crappy jazz fusion) and lonely youtubers will love them regardless
- Typical TV Show: Wimps Sorry For Controlling Wife's
- Never trust a Thai woman
- this woman has the right idea
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