Wikiwarfare
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
PROTIP: Everybody knows that the only fail-proof method of winning a Wikiwar™ is through the strategic utilization of NO U.
Wikiwarfare is what happens when a bunch of fags with no life begin fighting with each other over Wikis. The bastard child of the flame war and edit war, has grown in popularity since the invention of, obviously, Wiki and of, even more obviously, Encyclopedia Dramatica. The WikiWar is one of the few wars that isn't dependent on a vast amount of completely irrelevant history. So these are the tips to follow when involved in this kind of conflicts.
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How it works
- Prima makes a satirical post about Secunda complete with exaggerations, witty turns of phrase, and - of course - utter, utter lies.
- Secunda - either because they are a humorless trout who can't laugh at themselves or because they were sexually abused by a clown as a child - becomes angry and feels the need to 'correct' the article by deleting nearly all of it and replacing certain bits with self-inflating rubbish.
- Prima may choose to replace Secunda's 'corrections' with even more inflammatory, yet incredibly funny, satire. This will cause Secunda to redact even more, and thus the War is On.
- Prima may just whinge about it. This is the standard course of action of GerbilSage.
Why war?
- Wars easily start, and never end. Look at fucking Iraq
- So you might want to start one on someone before someone throws one upon you!
- As long as you keep yourself anonymous you're ok!
- Don’t seek for peace when you lose the anonymathum momentum in a lapsus Brutus, by that time it will be over for you
- Fuck the innocents!!!
- For the LULZ!!!
- ????
- Profit!!
| —Sun Tzu, The Art of War |
Offensive Actions
Please note: None of this will work on ED because ED literally wrote the article on how it is done. And if you get your ass arrested for doing something like posting up porn on a childrens wiki please let us know about it before you get V&
Web vandalism: beat the shit out of the other wikis by adding disgusting pics, altering the facts in their articles and overloading their pages with nonsensical links to not related pages. Also screw all you can before getting banned. And if the war is serious business make sure you have more than one account to extend your time line of vandalism.
Propaganda: make sure before you get banned you left lots and lots of propaganda and links containing information about your mother page.
Gathering data: make sure to create vast amounts of anonymous blogs and live journals, etc., and befriend everybody you consider or suspect to be harmful, and spy on their journal. Participate on their forums just to know what the enemy is up to.
Distributed Denial-of-Service Attacks : this tactic consists into deleting all information as possible that is related with the system operation so that the system can fake away from the hands of the users. This tactic is very hard tough, and is likely to be the atomic bomb in the wiki wars.
Equipment disruption: if it happens that you know somebody that edits the enemy wiki, make sure you accidentally break his/her iPod; this will provoke the suicide of another Wikipedia user, ending in the decrease of their geek hordes.
Attacking critical human infrastructure: this tactic is critical to achieve easily the elimination of users, for example, in this tactic you make sure you hack the password of important members and mess with their profiles to allow their egos take over them and spend more time fixing their profiles than fighting for their wikilands.
Flase Flag Operation:This is low but it will work. Go onto any wiki and write an article longer than a stub but not so long that it takes up too much of your time.Make it about 4chan,ebaumsworld or any site with a nice fanbase. Either write the article to bash said group OR promote it in such a retarded way that it could be seen as offensive.Now go back to said site and show them the article, you will soon see results.
See it coming
To recognize an incoming war just use the old Jedi powers and feel the force. If you think a war is coming make the first attack. If you think your enemies think that you're thinking to attack, attack!!! And if you think you made something to have your enemies thinking you are going to attack, they are probably planning a wikiwar right now. So attack. If everything is peaceful is probably because the other wikies are making an alliance against ED so be a good ED citizen and throw a jihad on the galactic confederation of wikies.
Using the spies
You almost never get to be face to face with the enemy thus the primordial tactics and methods of action are the use of spies.
| —Sun Tzu, The Art of War |
So make sure that nobody under your repertoire of low life looser friends are anonymous. Make sure you have enough information about your people to extortionate them and black mail them in case if they turn back on you. That will be your back up.
- Local spies: the entire nationalist gang of truly loyal sysops in this page that gather information of user such as Sceptre just for the pleasure of it. And don’t care about if their reputation gets damaged in the maneuvers.
- Internal spies: For internal spies we use the enemy's officials. Such as Sceptre even though he was not accepted as an administrator because of the rumor that he was working for us, note: they denied his admin application to make us believe he was actually working for us and that they knew it...but in reality he was working as a double spy for Wikipedia and against us, but we knew it and they didn't know about it. Now the bitch is pawned for espionage. When we use him as dead spy giving him the notice that the wikislut article was going to be erased and former apologizes were going to be given by ED to all the victims. When the wikipideans found out this was a scam (and some of them are still waiting for the apologies) they pawned his ass from espionage.
- Double spies: these are the ones were sent her to delete articles of Phaedriel, and that are bored of the unfunny other wikies and are willing and likely to vandalize and gather in formation for ED because they just realized that Phaedriel is too busy pleasing 13 year old boys and has no time to make a user page for them. If you find a spy make sure you give him the proper treatments in order to turning him/her in to ED sympathizer.
- Dead spies: the double spies we retire from service by giving them erroneous information to be sent and intentionally intercept by the enemy.
- Living spies: these are the ones we are planning to use the most thus we will not reveal neither their use nor their tactics. And if you are a wikipidean know for sure he is spying on you. Srs business
Recognize them
How to recognize a spy (for example Wikichan one): easy just check the users that have made more modification to articles related to lolicon, befriend them on myspace and ask them what they think about wikichan.
The same rule applies to other wiki spies. Just change the question. For example, ask about Phaedriel and you will clearly recognize the Wikipedia spies...an so on with all the wiki members. With the wiki wookies (best know as Scientologists or Lukas lovers) can be recognized because instead of a "good bye" they say "may the force be with you" at the end of a conversation.
See Also
External Links
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