Dragon Ball Z
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| Warning!: This article contains a shitload of hentai, in particular shota. Those who are easily offended should read this |
| This article needs moar shota. You can help by adding moar shota. |
Dragon Ball Z (also known as DBZ or just simply DragonBallz), is a show about a bunch of battle-hardened, 'roid enraged, angry and constipated super-apes who spend 15 minutes talking about how powerful they are and the next 5 screaming at the top of their lungs (almost all of these screams consist of the syllable "Ha" dragged out over the course of three episodes. I shit you not). Fans claim that it is action packed and has tons of fighting, but ironically there is almost no fighting, and if there is, it's not until you realize you wasted 20 minutes (that you didn't need) of your life to see a 3 second fight( that was probabaly the best 3 second fight ever. EVAR!). Their power is stored in their ballz, which they all stole from dragons because they had none of their own. They have to drag these Dragon Balls around with them, thus they are Draggin' Balls, hence the name of the show. It is like anime crack. Almost all serious otaku started by watching DBZ and moved onto other shows to try to fill the sorry fact that most of them have no life. Five countries have banned the series because they feared that the economy would collapse if they allowed this into their nations. Most economic problems can be traced to the addition of this show to the regular TV line up in countries where it appears. The show bears more than a passing resemblance to professional wrestling.
Some argue that the original Wapanese version of DBZ shits all over the American version, but anyone who can speak English and has a good decent average musical taste knows that Japanese people should just stick to making hentai. Amazingly, 50% of DBZ is made of softcore hentai filler.
Contents |
Summary
Every DBZ is divided into "Sagas" which can basically be divided into different (and a continuing downward spiral of suck) villains. Each saga follows the EXACT same formula, yet each 12 year old fanboy of the series attempts to say otherwise. It is as follows.
1. Someone comes from (insert: Another planet, through time, across the street, the 7-11 nearby), and issues a warning that a new enemy with a power far surpassing over 9000 is heading towards earth.
2. At first the Z fighters think the doomsayer is exaggerating their power level, but realise that he is talking serious fucking business here. No matter how far in DBZ they get and no matter how much their so-called power raises they seem to always have the same ability, which is 'to use all your power to destroy the universe'. Not any higher (because if they did get any stronger then they could destroy stars and galaxies with a wet fart)
3. The "battle" begins. All of the fighters try to face the villain but fail it because they just plain suck. Eventually one of the fighters possesses an advantage over said villain and just so happens to be winning.
4. The villain begins to accept the fact that he's going to lose to a homo, and begins talking smack. 15 episodes of horrible smack-talk ensue, usually "NOOOO!!! YOU CANT". But then quickly the good guy fails it again when the villain becomes moar powerful. Someone charges their lazer, a few bikes are stolen by some niggers and then all hope is lost when the last good guy gets his ass kicked.
5. Meanwhile Goku spends at least 100 years training till he becomes batshit powerful. He then heads to the villain and charges a super lazer which ultimately is powerful enough to kill the villain.
6. The Z fighters then start to PAHTY and several scenes of shota and yaoi ensue (srsly, look down a bit moar).
Characters in Dragon Ball Z
Goku
Goku (whose real name is Kakkarot Cockrot) is the series' main protagonist. Despite supposedly being the greatest hero in existence, he only ever killed one (yes, ONLY ONE) villain throughout the entire series, and by not even using his own power (which is how he defeated most of the villains anyway). He has made Akira Toriyama more money then your mom could whoring herself out for the rest of her life. This shitty icon has spawned action figures, bedsheets, and wallpapers, not to mention a super-empire of fanboys who are willing to suck his cock should the occasion ever arise.
He is often depicted eating a shitload of food and never actually doing a shit, giving Japanese kids the impression that they too can eat a lot of food without getting fat. He also got attacked by a heart disease that did more damage to him then all the villains combined. He also appears the most naked out of all the characters in the series, because those Japs thought it would be total hilarity to troll the FCC with shota and yaoi being broadcast on Kid tv networks.
And unfortunately for him, he is the victim of a meaningless and on-going shit-tastic argument that has plagued the internet since it first arrived (See Goku Vs Superman).
Vegeta
Vegeta was once a badass villain but turned into a good guy with a receding hairline when he realised that no female saiyan was left alive for him to fuck. He used to destroy entire planets but then was fucking owned by Goku. Goku, being the pretty cool guy that he is, spared Vegeta. He returned in the next series to search for his Dragon Ballz (which he had lost in his fight with Goku), and met his end with Frieza. He was later wished back to life when his Dragon Ballz were found by Mr. Popo.
It should also be noted that Vegeta is the biggest dumbass in the series. It is because of him that Frieza decided to use more then 2 percent of his power, because of him that Cell was able to become 'perfect' and because of him that Majin Buu was released from the giant scrotum that had imprisoned him for millions of years. Way to go Vegeta, you truly are the Prince of fucktards.
In later episodes Vegeta becomes a pink shirt wearing slave to Bulma so he can get a piece of ass.
Trunks
Trunks is surprisingly normal looking; considering his mother's hair is blue and his father's looks like a pine tree. He is from the future, which is why he carries a sword. He doesn't really do anything. He's just another Aryan screeching gorilla in the team.
Gohan
Goku's illegitimate offspring. He spends most of his childhood being forced into the wilderness and made to fight evil aliens, because Goku's parenting is just that good. Despite having a shota body his voice sounds like a chain-smoking seagull's. He pwns his father in every way; outdoing him in terms of both terrible voice acting and retarded haircut.
ChiChi
Goku's bitch wife who never pays any attention to him. Her main occupation is forcing Gohan to read her horrible Inuyasha fanfiction instead of going out and saving the fucking planet, showing that Goku's horrible parenting can be outdone. She is supposedly 00ber-strong but of course she is a female character, so any serious involvement in the plot is OFF-RIMITS. Fun fact; ChiChi is Japanese for FATHER. No srsly!
Mr Popo
Mr Popo lives in an outer-space KFC restaurant and helps out the gang by letting them use his gay rape dungeon. He does nothing else except look like a gigantic Negro marshmallow.
Bra
LOL LIKE WUT GERLS GOT
Frieza
Undoubtedly the gayest character in the series, his voice makes Carson Kressley look straight. Often seen by fanboys as the greatest villain of the series, despite getting his ass kicked twice. This is most likely because he eliminated the Saiyan race when he blew up their planet. Unfortunately for him, Goku was not on it at the time and 20 years later came back to fuck him up, and even moar unofortunately for him Goku failed to kill him, making him want to head to earth to get revenge, where he met his actual end to a teenager.
As it would turn out, Frieza had a loving family who attempted to avenge him. Surprisingly, Frieza was never shown to have a mother, leaving all kinds of gay, sickfuckery speculation to be had by basement dwellers. It should also be noted that Frieza is the reason why we have another forced meme of undeniable faggotry (see Only 2 percent).
Cell
Cell was the first and only villain to ever successfully kill Goku throughout the entire Dragon Ball series (including GT). This gives him some major credit, seeing as how every other villain sucked absolute shit. He first appeared through a retarded deus ex machina plot through complete mindfuckery that would make the most loyal of fanboys' heads spin. When the teenager that killed Frieza came back through time, this created an alternate reality, whereby two Cells were created.
Throughout the entire time Cell was present in the series his quest involved him attempting to become perfect by the means of sucking two robots into his asshole (I am not making this shit up). When said sucking was completed, he quickly took on the characteristics of a 16 year old girl believing that he was 'perfect' and 'ultimate'. What makes this sad, however, is that Cell met his end to an 11 year old boy who somehow became stronger then every other character in the series by steroid abuse, thus making Cell gay.
But then, without Cell, we wouldn't have the instant classic that is Shoop Da Whoop, would we?
Majin Buu
The strongest and greatest villain in the series, yet somehow was the only villain that was actually killed by Goku. Buu went through some serious changes throughout the series. At first he appeared as an overweight fatass who couldn't speak engrish, and had narrow eyes (no, really, I'm being cereal). Then through yet another deus ex machina plot device a second, annorexic version of him was created, and absorbed the original one, thus creating Super Buu, who bared the same stature that 95% of the characters in the show posessed. Later on he absorbed more and more characters, each time retaining the title Super Buu, but changing his clothing and appearance slightly. This time, he actually had a nose and a chin, and the giant dick on his head grew bigger and bigger each time.
Cockrot and Vegeta somehow got inside Buu's head through another deus ex machina and detached all the absorbed parties from inside, including the fat Buu. Through a major plot turn and unrealistic series of events that no anime has ever had, Buu turned into a little kid who was supposed to be the 'normal' Buu, whereby the Kai (the asshole that started all this Buu shit) regailed on the origins of Buu. As it would turn out, this IS Buu's original entity, but he then later absorbed all the Kai's friends, thus turning into the fat Buu, and making Kai lonely as fuck for the next 5 million years.
Master Roshi
Master Roshi is quite possibly the best character ever to be created into this anime. He is a porn star, porn addict, pimp, and superstrong rapist. He owns several children on his private island that he keeps locked in his basement. He lures them in by offering them "training", and then makes them fetch his porn for him and do his bidding until they become slaves. He is also sixty years old, which makes him a total pedophile. Though, still, he is the only character in the anime that feels an attraction toward women and has a set of balls to call his own. This makes him pwnage. He never got married, but he did at one point have an extremely bipolar girlfriend that would sex him up off screen.
Bulma
Bulma has been in the DBZ franchise since Dragonball episode 1. She has a penis and often finds herself losing her underwear (in pretty much every fucking episode). Her panties are either pulled off accidentally, such as when Krillin is trying to climb up from this one lava pit or something, or on purpose, when Goku pulls them off because he wanted some puss, or when she's just a fucking dumbass and doesn't remember to dress herself because it makes the fanboys go AYAWEEE SHES SO HAWT!!
Krillin
Goku's best friend and everybody's punching bag. He gets killed about a million times and cries for Goku to save everyone. He also marries a robot and gets her pregnant. The midget-robot marriage also showed that if Asians worked hard enough, they could get some white pussy.
Cancerous
This foul disease is like cancer for animu, except it takes place on a far larger scale. Basically, it is what happens when Dragon Ball Z has too much influence. It is the exact reason why we can't have nice things.
Things Corrupted by Cancer
- Everything in Category:Anime
- Youtube
- Newgrounds - At least 100 percent of Flash movies on the site are infected with it, even if there is no violence or plot.
- Fan Fiction
- Hentai
- America
- 4chan
- You
Cures for DBZ Cancer
Should you find yourself infected with the cancer, you can do the following to rid yourself of this horrible disease:
- Buy a dog
- Disconnect your Internets
- Do it faggot
- Delete Fucking Everything
- Read a book
- ????
- Profit!
Or if you're in a hurry, do what Vegeta did and become an hero
Trolling DBZ Tards
One of the most effective ways to troll DBZ threads is to start speculating on how gay the characters are. Eventually, a yaoi fangirl fanboy (there are no girls on the internet.) will begin posting gaysecks pictures and the thread will experience epic fail.
Another easy way to troll DBZ fans is to claim one character is stronger than another, like SSJ3 Goku is stronger than Mystic Gohan for example. DBZ fans rage over that kind of shit. DBZ fans will also rage over comparing DBZ characters to non-DBZ characters. A classic example of this is claiming Superman is superior to Goku.
Nowadays the best way to troll DBZ fans is by telling them that Naruto is the best show ever and all Naruto characters own DBZ ones or Naruto owns Goku. You can go still further and tell them to change with the times and become a Narutard. There is no greater insult than telling them to become a Naruto fan.
| Anne sighed as she sat in her room, staring at her wall. She just finished writing in her diary, and had nothing to do. Life was boring in the Secret Annex, but it was better than the alternative.
It was alright talking to Peter and Margot, but they were both such quiet people, unlike the always active Anne. All of a sudden, a flash of light appeared in the room! Anne jumped back, stifling a scream. Before she could run out the closed door she noticed that the person who appeared in the flash was not a Nazi officer, but someone who she had never seen before! His clothes were very strange, and his hair was in a spiky style that was totally new to her. She stood against the wall, wary of the stranger, but he walked towards her and smiled, extending a hand. "My name is Goku." The mysterious stranger said. Anne nervously put her hand in his. He bent down and kissed it softly, then let go. Anne blushed, feeling something she had never felt before go off inside of her. "My name is Anne..." she replied quietly. "I'm sorry for what just happened," Goku told her, "But I was caught in a time portal and deposited here! My power cells will recharge soon, but until then, I'm stuck here." Anne had no idea what the handsome visitor was talking about, but she played along. "Well, sir" she said. "You may stay in my room as long as you like!" Anne blushed again as she said this, and giggled slightly. Goku looked around, and then sat on the bed. "Thank you for the invitation. I'll be sure to repay you for it soon." Anne did not understand what he meant by that, however, when he spoke, she felt a warmth deep inside of her. She sat by him on the bed, staring at the man's beautiful eyes. Finally, she could stand it no longer. Anne leaned over and kissed the stranger on the cheek, and then pulled back quickly, not sure of what she had done. "I'm sorry..." she said, as she stumbled to find the right words. The visitor smirked. "No, that's quite alright." He replied with a smile, putting one arm around her. "You know, you're a very beautiful girl, but I... well..." Anne looked at him, troubled. "What's the matter?" she said, with a sweet smile. Goku looked nervous. "I... I'm already married." he finally managed to choke out. Anne pulled away from him abruptly. "No!" she said loudly, almost in tears. "I'm sorry..." he replied. Anne was furious. "Nothing ever goes right!" she cried out. "I have to go now, my power cells have recharged." said Goku. Anne was in tears by now, staring at the wall so she wouldn't see Goku's face. He smiled a sad smile, and disappeared in another flash, out of Anne's life forever. Anne never forgot him, though... not until the end of time. One month. Well, it didn’t feel like a month. To Anne Frank, a Jew in hiding from the Nazis, it seemed like a year. One month since the fateful encounter with the mysterious man from another world, who she only knew as ‘Goku’. The handsome stranger had stepped through time and into her life, then disappeared without a trace. Anne was almost sure that they’d never meet again, even though not one day passed without her dreaming of him. Little did she know, however, that their lives were tied by the unbreakable red string of fate. It was another boring day in the Secret Annex. Anne sat on the bed of her room, writing in her diary. It never occurred to her, however, that this entry would be her last. As she wrote in the quiet attic, there was a loud noise from downstairs. Her heart jumped with both fear and excitement. Was it them? The Nazis? Or, could it be… him? She had no idea whether to run downstairs or to hide. That decision, however, was made for her. Her door flew open, and a tall soldier was visible in the doorway, glaring at her. The cries of her family members and friends were tuned out as Anne only thought of one thing. She stood up and followed the soldier out of her room, down the stairs, and into the back of a truck. “So this is it.” She said quietly to herself. “I’ll never see him, my one true love, ever again. And all those years of hiding… they were for naught.” Then, Anne realized that she left her precious diary up in her room. She broke loose from the officer, and made a dash back into the shop, when he removed a gun from his holster and fired a shot in her direction. Anne fell to the floor. Anne lay on the floor, feeling searing pain run through her leg, where the bullet had met its mark. The Gestapo officer menacingly moved towards her, grinning, when all of a sudden there was a blinding flash of light, causing the officer to shield his eyes. A huge cloud of smoke appeared next to Anne, blocking her from the soldier’s vision. When the smoke cleared, he was in for quite a surprise. There was Goku, holding Anne in his arms, standing next to a huge metal capsule. “Goku!” cried Anne “You came back… for me!” Goku smiled. “Anything for you, my dear.” He said. “Our love will never be lost… not until the end of time.” The Gestapo officer turned tail and ran, but Goku was too quick for him. After laying Anne on the concrete, he dashed towards the Nazi and knocked him to the ground, unconscious, with only one blow. “Nazi scum.” Muttered Goku as he spit on his enemy’s limp body, then returned to Anne. “Here, I have something for you.” Goku said, as he removed a small bean from his pocket. “What on earth is this?” asked Anne. Goku smiled, remember how ignorant she was to what was everyday life to him. “A senzu bean.” He said. “Just eat it, and it will cure your leg.” Anne followed his instructions and popped the bean into her mouth, as the wound on her calve magically healed. “Now come on.” Commanded Goku. “We’ve got some Nazi ass to kick.” Anne jumped on the mysterious Saiyan’s back, as he launched off into the sky. After only a few moments, the two of them arrived in Berlin. Tanks were parading down the street, as Adolf Hitler himself stood on a platform overlooking it all. “Stay here.” Goku said, dropping Anne in a shaded area under a tree. He then flew straight towards the parade of tanks, fist outstretched, screaming as loud as he could. The soldiers below scattered in terror, while the tanks tried to aim their cannons at him. He was too quick and nimble for them, however, and opened the hatch of a nearby Panzer, then headed inside. After dispatching of the soldiers in control of the war machine, he took the wheel. He fired round after round into the crowds of Nazi soldiers, occasionally firing at the other tanks. After only minutes, there was nothing but a cloud of dust and corpses. Goku emerged from the tank’s hatch, smiling now that he had done his duty. When all of the dust cleared, there were only two people remaining on the parade ground: Goku, the Saiyan hero, and Adolf Hitler, the most evil man ever to walk the earth. Anne watched from nearby fearfully as she saw the two men stare at each other for what seemed like hours. Her one true love, and her ultimate oppressor. It had come down to this. “So,” Hitler said jovially “You took out all of my men. However, you aren’t going to defeat me.” Hitler then jumped down from his platform and down onto the street in front of Goku, pulling a chain gun from the ground nearby. Goku quickly jumped behind a ruined tank, as Adolf opened fire. The tank made decent cover, but it wasn’t long until it would be torn apart by the hail of bullets. Goku had to act. He dashed out from the side of the tank, and flew as fast as he could toward Hitler, who had no time to react. He grabbed the chain gun out of his enemy’s hands, and snapped it over his knee with ease. Hitler stumbled backwards, shocked at the turn of events. Goku smirked, then said “It’s come down to this. You and me. Fighting like men. If you admit defeat now, I’ll kill you rather painlessly.” Goku had the definite advantage. Or so it seemed. Hitler burst into a laugh, as Goku looked on quizzically. The mustachioed man slowly rose into the air, as his brown hair and pencil moustache turned a blonde color, and his brown eyes turned blue. Goku reeled in horror. Hitler continued laughing, then finally said “Goku! You came here expecting to find a madman, but instead, you found a GOD!” Hitler had become a Super Saiyan. Anne looked on in awe, not sure what was going on. At first, it seemed like her lover would win the battle, but now she was not so sure. Goku now seemed scared of his opponent, and it was for a good reason. Hitler continued to speak “Goku, can’t you see? I’ve reached a power level 10 TIMES anything you’ve ever achieved! Your fate is sealed, weakling.” Even though the battle seemed unwinnable, Goku charged in, screaming at the top of his lungs. Every blow he struck with was deflected off of Hitler’s rock hard body. Hitler waited for Goku to tire himself out, then raised his fist and punched Goku. And one punch was enough. Goku was knocked across the street into a large propaganda poster of Hitler, thudding to the cold, hard ground. Hitler laughed, thinking that victory was in his hands at last. Goku, however, was not ready to give up. Bruised and battered, he rose from the ground, limping in Hitler’s direction. The Nazi leader laughed. “You still want to fight? Don’t you know when to give up, boy? You can hardly walk. And you expect to beat ME? Conqueror of Europe?” Goku ignored Adolf’s taunts as he continued to stumble his way forward. Finally, the two archrivals were standing face to face. Goku stared Hitler into the eye, then screamed “This… is for LOVE!” and flew up into the sky, his hair turning blonde, his eyes blue, and an aura of power radiating from him. Hitler looked on in horror at Goku. He had made the ultimate achievement. He had become a Super Ultra Power Saiyan. Goku made a cup shape with his hands, aiming at Hitler, as he belted out the words “Kame… Hame… HAAAAA!” as a beam of pure energy shot at his enemy, disintegrating the Nazi leader’s body. Goku then collapsed to the ground in a heap, exhausted from the fight. Two years later: Anne and Goku had finally reached the date of their wedding. After the battle, Anne and Goku destroyed the time machine and took a boat to Australia. They changed their names and lived new lives, ready to start over. The two young people looked into each others eyes as they kissed, as the reverend pronounced them man and wife. Finally, it seemed, Anne was at peace. And they would always be together, until the end of time.|} Typical Episodes
DBZ Abridged
Kaj Master KajFrom the same brilliant mind that brought us Over 9000, comes these other hilarious and oddly appropriate videos.
Live Action FilmFox, seeing just how popular Dragon Ball Z was, decided to create a live action movie. Upon seeing some of the trailers, fantards of the series across the Internets cried out from a butthurt never thought possible before. Why? We'll tell you.
The one positive outcome that could occur is that thousands of weeaboos promptly commit ritual suicide. Help them along by telling them how much better this movie is than the anime. A typical fan response. Notice how he compares the shitty movie to the far superior game versions Dragon Ball Z Shtuff
And now, the gallery of rule 34. Fortunately for you, I picked out the most shota-filled pics, sickfuck.
See AlsoExternal Links:A homophobic dragonballz fantard. Also a lover of shota.
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