Vandal/How-to
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
How to troll ED
- Get invited to a sysop's house.
- Initiate hardcore buttsecks.
- Whilst she is pulsating from epic orgasm visit her computer.
- Read emails.
- Find password for ED sysop's IRC.
- Join /server irc.encyclopediadramatica.com and then type /join #sysop 101dongs.
- Tell the owner of ED that you fapped to pics of her.
- Get banned.
- Return to bed for more epic sex.
CSS Vandalism
Insert some code somewhere on the page that will screw up the formatting for the whole page. For example <div style="display:none">.
Direct Admin Attack
For some epic lulz on Wikipedia, follow these steps: 1. Copy and paste the picture of the man tits with the caption "Persian Poet Gal's Rack". Persian Poet Gal[1] is, of course, the closet lesbian Wikipedia admin that spends all of her day reverting vandalism while raping herself with multiple cucumbers, which pickle on contact with her toxic vaj. 2. Go to Wikipedia and paste it on as many articles as possible. 3. You will get blocked, but if you do it enough, you get a ridiculously lulzy angry letter from the cucumberphile lezbo herself. Enjoy!
Hide vandalism
The best way to encourage vandalism to go around vandal hunting and when you spot vandalism, do a tiny, minor edit over the vandalism. This keeps it from being the top edit so it's harder for people to spot or remove. You also pretty much get away with this without being banned. Not only that, but the vandals get banned slower and often the vandalism never gets cleaned up.
How to make Wikipedia vandalize itself
Make an account and while it's new...
- For your first bunch of edits (20 or so) revert vandalism, but instead of "Reverted blah blah identified as vandalism" make the edit summary vague so it might be vandalism, or it might not--if you're unsure what to do, just use a single cuss word as the edit summary. Don't revert vandalism that's too obvious like blanking or replacing the whole article.
- For your second bunch of edits (20 or so), use the same type of edit summaries as the first bunch, but this time do vandalism. It's best to do sneaky vandalism, but if that's too hard then pasting Mediawiki Goatse never grows old. Another good one is the ASCII of the disfigured penis from ED's John Wayne Bobbitt article.
Pros:
- + Vandal fighters will revert your first batch of edits, thus reverting vandalism back in. Then when people will see that the last edit was an admin reverting vandalism, they will leave it alone.
- + Your earlier vandal fighting will confuse people and so your vandalism in your second batch of edits will stay.
- + Although probable, you are less likely to be banned.
Cons:
- - Requires a lot of time, scheming, and overall effort.
Proof it works: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Contributions/Tubetendsd That account did a bit of vandalism and then reverted vandalism with blank edit summaries and then administrator Metros undid the vandalism reverts [2] [3]
Blatant vandalism
Most people don't know how to properly vandalize Wikipedia. They just go and randomly mention someone is gay and think they won. But they get reverted and the past revisions of the article get compressed together so they won't even have made any impact on the database and their vandalism is forgotten. Here's how to do a proper vandalism:
- Make a new account so they can't wikistalk your past vandalism.
- Copy the text here: http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia:Sandbox&action=edit&oldid=141543921 (or make your own shock image in table form)
- Paste it somewhere random people will see
- Change IP and repeat.
Pros:
- + Requires very little effort.
- + Encompasses a large portion of Wikipedia, i.e. more people will witness it.
Cons:
- - Requires a dynamic IP address.
- - Your edits will quickly be reverted.
NOTE: This won't work on ED because the size of the MediaWiki goatse is over the 200kb limit for ED. http://www.phpriot.com/5434
Deep Infiltration Sock-puppet vandalizing
Create a phoney sock-puppet account every 7-14 using proxys, and provide them with some kind of decent cover (eg: minor edit for one article and info about self) after maybe 10+ puppets, wait a week and erase browser cookies, occasionally checking to see if there is a response. After the week, use a already pre-exposed proxy to logon for all your profiles and then begin pulling major bullshit. After all your puppets are banned, clear cookies and go back to the proxy sites you were previously using and create new puppets.
Sneaky vandalism
- Hit "random article" until you find a small article nobody watches.
- Change something (e.g. a number) and make it look like you're correcting an inaccuracy. Claim in the edit summary that the website/source/references/etc says it's this and the article was wrong and do it in a pompous way of a regular wikipedo so they'll believe you.
- Continue again using a different IP if editing on IP or username if logged in so they can't revert your work all at once.
NOTE: This won't work on ED. Articles are not put on ED because they are fact, articles are fact because they are on ED.
Also:
- Make sure you're editing Wikipedia as an IP, not as a logged in user. Have an account ready to log into. Choose an obscure article, and vandalize it with something that is potentially libelous to the biography of a living person, and add a reference (which should really be a goatse link). Then quickly do another edit like adding "Yeah", save it, then log in to an account and revert the second edit, with an edit summary of "Reverting vandalism". The first edit with the really critical vandalism will remain intact, as admins will assume good faith on your part. Then Google, and Answers.com and a million other web domains will scrape the content and it'll stay on the page for months on end. Daniel Brandt suggested this, and it works! Massive lulz can be achieved from seeing this vandalism stay on these pages for this long.
Pros:
- + Will take longer before your edits are reverted.
- + Websites that scraped Wikipedia articles will expand your longer-lasting vandalism across the internets.
Cons:
- - Requires a lot of time, patience, and persistence.
MOAR sneaky vandalism
- Find a page that isn't regularly edited using Random Article
- Find a good part of text that doesn't have links
- Edit the file, replacing text with ASCII code (A) following each letter with a semicolon (;) (A)
- Bonus lulz if you get a friend (or more than one) to add substantive edits in ASCII code.
Pros:
- + Will make later edits impossibly difficult
- + Is invisible on a page until someone tries to edit
Cons:
- - Requires more than 1 person to be really effective
Shotgun Blast
- Create a user account, or simply use your existing IP address.
- Bombard random articles (preferably less-known articles) with both vandalism and beneficial edits.
- Keep going and do not falter. The more articles you affect, the better.
Pros:
- + Your vandalism will be seen by many, in a short period of time, across the website.
- + It will waste an administrator's or patroller's time in reverting all of your edits.
- + Some confusion will ensue if at least half of your edits were not vandalism.
Cons:
- - You will get banned. (But collateral damage from a ban is always a positive)
- - Your vandalism will have a short lifespan.
Imitate WordBomb
Go to http://www.antisocialmedia.net and read his stuff. Then start spewing it onto Wikipedia. But, don't act like a fan. Rather, act like you're really him:
- Mention that Gary Weiss edits his own Wikipedia article with secret sockpuppets like Mantanmoreland.
- Out the IPs of wikipedia admins and do about any and all outing.
- Edit articles about Overstock.com, Gary Weiss, Naked Short Selling, Patrick Byrne, etc. how WordBomb would do. Wikipedia has an unwritten rule that these four articles and some others are not allowed to be edited by anyone but Gary_Weiss's socks and The Hasbara Fellowships due to bribes to Jimbo.
The Wikipedia Jews really hate WordBomb. Really. Acting like a WordBomb sock produces no end of lulz. You achieve victory when you get your ISP banned from Wikipedia so then complaints will pour in from innocents affected.
Pros:
- + It really drives the admins insane! They are so nuts about keeping anyone like WordBomb off the site that they will ban entire ISPs! Yes, you can get everyone in your city to flood Wikipedia with complaints! They really do routinely ban whole IP ranges for life associated with WordBomb and have even banned Overstock.com's entire IP range even though WordBomb no longer works there (they banned that range a year after WordBomb stopped working there, ironically).
- + If you have a way to dial long distance free or cheaply then you can get an entire country banned!
Cons:
- - This is more trolling than vandalism
Note: Don't diss Mormons when doing this. WordBomb lives in Utah supposedly and is likely a lucky Mormon having buttsecks with 10 hot wives as well as one nubile young adolescent boy in drag.
The subtle method
Subtlety is an awesome way to create ongoing pseudo-vandalism and wild inaccuracies throughout Wikipedia. The method is easy, and if you do it well it's quite fun too.
Hit random article and look for articles that won't be getting a large amount of focus. Any articles with editing disputes should be kept clear of, so people don't look at your past edits if you write something that pisses them off. Then, find somewhere in the article where you can add a weasel phrase, a small inaccuracy, a lie, or a softly-softly pisstake. These edits are long term remember - the result is not in the editors getting pissed off but in the users of Wikipedia reading shitty articles. For example "as a matter of fact," "contrary to popular belief," "as an interesting aside," "actually..." and many other phrases are all good to enter wherever the hell you can fit them to make the sentence seem on any second glance completely ridiculous. Fake statistics can be entered where no-one will be checking, fake plot turns can be added into articles on lesser known books etc etc. Be creative, but be subtle.
One thing is to beware if anyone reverts more than once, replies to you on a talk page, and hasn't been to that article before. Beware especially if they do it more than once, especially if it's over a long period of time. Many wikipedians are batshit insane stalkers, for instance User:Oli Filth claims to stalk many many people on Wikipedia over the long term once he thinks their edits are bad.
Username rotator
Even if you're on a static IP that doesn't change, one easy way to avoid being banned is to create a new user account for every piece of vandalism you carry out. You're unlikely to get caught unless you vandalize the same page or add the same type of content. Avoid imitating any user listed on WP:Long term abuse and don't do page move vandalism. What you should really be seaking(NO ONE THINKS THAT IS FUNNY) is glorification in creating inappropriate pages and trying to get as many of them protected against creation as possible, but you have to be stealthy about it.
Edit summary vandalism
Register a new account and make lots of small, positive or neutral edits either fixing mistakes or slightly changing sentences etc. But write edit summaries which are lulzy, obscene, embarassing to WP or potentially libellous, of wikipedia admins or third parties. You will eventually get banned, but you can protest that every edit you made was positive. The best thing about this tactic is that it's a lot more effort by admins to change edit summaries than it is to revert normal vandalism. So if you say something lulzy it will probably stay there, and if you say something offensive about an admin or libellous they will get their panties in a bunch and have to remove it.
Reverse DOS
MediaWiki uses something called an "autoblocker," every ip address used by a banned account is also blocked at the moment the banhammer hits. The autoblocker timer lasts 24 hours and resets everytime you try to edit from the pwned account. Meant to halt persistent vandals, this in fact can play directly into your hands. If you are lucky to be on an ISP that routes everyone through a single shared ip address, such as in a university or a small country, potentially thousands of people could be blocked from editing within a heartbeat. If you are ever on vacation in Qatar make sure to vandalize from the hotel, there a million people share the ip 82.148.97.69, and this can happen again.
From the Qatar blocklog:
- 05:56, 28 November 2007 Jmlk17 (Talk | contribs) blocked "82.148.97.69 (Talk)" (anon. only, account creation blocked) with an expiry time of 10 days (Vandalism)
- 03:28, 30 November 2007 John Reaves (Talk contribs) unblocked 82.148.97.69 (Talk) (This is Qatar.)
Pagemove
Moving pages is a great way to vandalize random wikis. The only thing is you need to create an account four days before your spree (and then make ten inconspicuous edits). After that, you just follow these simple steps.
- Go to a randompage and click on move on top.
- Choose a funny title.
- Then, go back to the bear page, and replace that page with Lulz.
- Repeat
In the end, it'll end up with administrators with activity logs full of things like:
- AdminX moved 'AdminX's real name is John Smith' to 'horses'
- AdminX deleted 'AdminX's real name is John Smith'
Willy on Wheels and Grawp have become famous names in the pagemove vandalism world. Unfortunately, Wikipedia's Abuse filter places heavy restrictions on page moves.
Redirect vandalism
Redirect vandalism is a great way of destroying Wikipedia because of its shock effect on the reader.
- Go to a religious or political page.
- Find a redirect to that page. For example: something redirects to Jahiliyyah.
- Replace the words between the square brackets with the word "penis" or "anus". If you vandalize an Islamic article, "pig" is great too.
- Write "typo" or "tidyup" in the edit summary. Or preferably something smarter.
- Do not start another vandalism too quickly. You'll get pwnt
The chances are that your vandalism will last relatively long, because redirect pages are rarely watched.
m Articlename (+0) . . Vandalname . . (capitalization fix)
- Make an account and put something on the user and talk page.
- Then wait 5 days so you're off the newbie recent changes list and then download Notepad++. Don't try this with an IP address as people watch IP edits closely.
- Then find an article nobody watches and that doesn't have any fancy text code like Arabic writing or anything that isn't ASCII.
- Cut all the text and paste it into Notepad++. If it has foreign language links at the bottom of the page in another alphabet, work around these.
- Then select all the text in Notepad++, right click, and then in the menu that comes up you can make all text lowercase--avoid uppercase as it is vandal-flagged by a shitload of extensions.
- Cut all text in Notepad++ and paste it back into the article.
- Write something into the text box like "typo fix", "spelling fix", or for true irony "capitalization fix" which will result in 0 bytes changed and it will appear in recent changes that you merely capitalized a single letter.
Only do this once per account so they can't ruin your other work if they catch you.
How to use several vandalism accounts and avoid autoblocks
To avoid autoblocks when one vandalism account is blocked. Before you start create six or seven accounts and leave them, then vandalize as an anon until you are blocked, but still you can edit with accounts, meaning as your Ip is blocked an autoblock cannot hit it when an account is blocked. Hence you can vandalize with those six accounts very quickly at the same time without suffering an autoblock, allowing extremely quick vandalism and sockpuppet sprees.
pros: allows quick and easy vandalism without autblocks
cons: since your IP will be blocked, you will need it to be dynamic to start again.
Template Vandalism
PROTIP: Goatse no longer works.
Template vandalism provides a more readily concealable way of vandalizing. The best article to choose is Wikipedia's Today's Featured Article. Click edit at the top of the page and then scroll down past the edit box and there will be a list of all the templates used in that article. About 90% of them will be protected or semi-protected. Pick one, which isn't protected; delete its content; insert vandalism; write "fixed typo" in the edit summary; hit Save Page. This will usually go unseen for two to twenty minutes, before they figure out what's going on. Only vandalize one template per account/IP address, because the more edits you make, the greater your chance is of getting caught via the recent changes page. The FA of the day is seen by hundreds of thousands of Wikipedos and members of the public each day, so this is a great choice for mass vandalism! For even more epic lulz try copy and pasting the template dozens or even hundreds of times, which will cause the computer to lag or if they're using Firefox... crash. The limit on Wikipedia is 2 MB per article, but if templates are too big they won't show up on the article they're included in. For extra sneakiness put the vandalism in include only tag, so the template will look untouched, therefore wikipedos will get confused.
Here is an example of someone doing it to a template which featured in Wikipedia's FA of the day To Kill a Mockingbird on 11 July 2008.
Pros:
- + Gets seen by thousands of people
- + Quick and easy (only one edit required)
Cons:
- - You will get blocked without question, but don't forget to post it on your talk page afterwards!
- - Goatse and most other ASCII is caught by the Abuse Filter
Huge text vandalism
Huge text vandalism is simple: place about 15 "big" tags on a word near the top of a page. For a super effective attack, edit a box containing text(usually listing info). The result is that the layout ends up totally fucked, usually making it impossible to even click "Edit Page". Most of the text also ends up being unreadable.
Pros:
- + Fucks up format
- + More likely to stay at least an hour
- + Can't click "edit this page"
Cons:
- - Very noticeable
- - Huggle still works
Denying Your Own Request
Inevitably, all vandals will be blocked in the course of their vandalizing funs. Why not have some fun with it? Request to have your block un-blocked, and before they can reply, deny your own request with any reason you want. They even give you the instructions to do it. For all the tards out there, here's what you type: unblock reviewed|1=(unblock reason)|decline=reason —(MAKE SOME SHIT UP) Profit and lulz ensues.
ED's IP is 208.99.87.133 DDOS, anyone?
