User:TheHiv
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Homicide flees!
<Homicide> I kinda wanna be violated while under the influence of ghb or similar
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Homicide
Homicide is at least 100 years old, jobless, and somewhere in Florida. He spends his time on irc and playing various gay games such as Diablo II, MapleStory, and SecondLife, when he's hasn't been sent home from work for being an idiot.
How do I shot ass?
On or about the 18th of January, 2007, Homicide was shot in the ass while riding his bicycle home from work, resulting in 6 hours of lost time, ~$1500 in medical bills, and 3 days of missed work. A full report can be read here.
I swear I thought she was 18
As of the 18th of April, 2007, Homicide is the subject of a sexual harassment investigation at his job. What a great year. Future plans include being hit by cars, set on fire, being stabbed by a hooker, and vomited on bukkake-stye by several transsexuals.
However, due to unknown reasons, no more was heard of after this point and Homicide got fired anyway. This is viewed as a win.
Original shit I don't have any other place to keep
HI, IM GEORGE ZIMMER, CEO AND FOUNDER OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. ON A RECENT VACATION TO THE FAIRLY FOREIGN FUCKHOLE CALLED FLORIDA, I WAS PERUSING THROUGH PUDDINGS IN PUBLIX WHEN I PLACED MY PEEPERS ON A MAGNIFICENT MOTHER AND HER TERRIBLE TODDLER, THE LATTER LETTING LOOSE A LOUD FIT AS SHE ATTEMPTED TO ASSUDE THE ADULT TO ASCERTAIN AN ALLOTMENT OF DELECTABLE DESSERTS. I INTERVIENED AND OFFERED ASSISTANCE, BUT UPON CLOSER INSPECTION OF THIS BUXOM BABY DROPPER, MY ANAL ARWING ENTERED ALL RANGE MODE AND TORE ITSELF FROM MY TAILORED TROUSERS, PINNING THE POOR MAIDEN PRECARIOUSLY BETWEEN THE AFOREMENTIONED PENILE PILEDRIVER AND A PALLETEE OF PUDDING. BY THE TIME SHE REALIZED WHAT HAD HAPPENED, I HAD PLASTERED HER WITH ENOUGH OF MY MAJESTIC MAN MORTER THAT PEOPLE THOUGHT SHE WAS THE VENUS DI MILO. HER DAUGHTER HASN'T UTTERED A WORD SINCE. I GUARANTEE IT.
