User:That Thing There/Saint's Row
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Saint's Row, and Saint's Row 2 is a vague clone of Grand Theft Auto, if GTA happened to be designed, written and coded by 13 year old boys. The game centers around you, The Boss. The Boss has no set gender in the game world, and is customizable to a degree not even Barbie could come up with.
Most of the game centers around drugs, crime, and gang warfare, in a very cartoon-ey way. It's realistic enough to pass as viewable, playable enough to be fun and has enough side missions to keep you occupied once the lulzy main story line has ended.
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The Game
THQ and Rockstar went two different ways with their sandbox games. Rockstar went for a very realistic, draw-you-in level of detail, while THQ decided that we all needed a bit of random violence and cannabis use to liven us up. The Saint's Row series focuses more on the inane things that amuse children, like jacking cars, having sex in a gas station bathroom, shooting up stripclubs, smoking blunts and drinking 40s. And by children, I mean mexican gangstas. Oh ye boi.
Saint's Row and Saint's Row 2 have a storyline that's plausible, but still unrealistic enough to make you realize you're playing a video game. The controls feel and work well, and the in-game world interracts as it should with the player. The damage isn't quite realistic, and the RAGE engine wasn't put to full potential, thus giving the SR series a big "meh"
Location
Saint's Row is centered around a city called Stillwater. The city is a mix of IRL Detroit, St. Louis and Chicago. TL;DR storyline Ultor fixes up saint's row, leading to the epic battle of Saint's Row 2 when Dane goes flying out a window lol
The playas
Ultor Corp
Dane Vogel
Features that make you go hmm
- The ability to grab NPCs, leaving you free to throw them or use them as human shields
- A healthy mix of realistic and dreamed up weapons
- Sword fights with Japanese ninjas
- Car customization to a serious degree
- A soundtrack that isn't half bad
- Mini-games such as Fuzz, a knock off of Cops if you were on meth
- Only video game where open drug abuse is encouraged
TL;DR
The SR series satisfies you in a manner which will excite OMG RANDOM sk8r boys. It's random, it's fun, it's still dirty and gritty and it's plausible enough that yeah, you can enjoy it. This ediot says A+++++++++++ would rent again. Would I buy it though? $60 is a pretty steep price. Okay, so scratch that. SR and SR2 are games good enough to rent, but not to buy. It's good when you crave random, bizarre amusement like throwing old men with walkers into the path of a moving delivery van.
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