User:Sdx
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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sdx is a many layered person. Most of those layers consist of lard.
Contents |
The Weight Problem
SDX was bullied as a child and his mother didn't like him very much. In order to compensate for this lack of love, SDX started eating at least 100 pies a day. Soon, SDX became very fat.
The Impotence
One day, SDX was out skipping in the woods with his pies. Due to his massive girth, SDX caused widespread damage to the homes of the fairy folk who lived in the woods. An evil goblin appeared and made him impotent for his crimes against the fairies. Since that day, his penis has not worked properly.
The Weight Problem and the Impotence
Now, SDX was fat and impotent. This made him very sad and he cried. His mother heard him sobbing and climbed the stairs to find out what was wrong. She opened the door to his bedroom and she saw his teary, cowlike eyes. Her hatred of her son melted that very moment and her heart was touched by the Pure Essence of Maternal Love. She stretched out her hand and progressed towards her bloated son that she might hug him and make him feel better about his worthless self.
Alas, fate is cruel. SDX's mass created a gravitational anomaly and caused telecommunications satellite to fall out of the sky into his home. Everybody in his family was killed except for SDX, who was protected by his rubbery flesh.
SDX's mood darkened when the local pie shop closed down.
The Aggression
Due to his hilarious losses, SDX decided to join the Navy. It was a foolish decision, given that the Navy had not a boat large enough for him. The Navy tried to put him in a submarine, but randy young whales tried to hump him too frequently. With all this pent up frustration, SDX quit the Navy and became a bouncer. SDX had finally found a career where being a lazy, fat and overly aggressive retard was a positive attribute.
Since those days, SDX decided to become even more of a slob and invested in a LiveJournal. This caused three things:
- He became an Internet Tough Guy;
- He gained even more weight;
- He became the moderator of Brutal_Honesty
Everyone Looks Good at 100x100
- SDX's headshot may be appealing but don't be fooled. It is attached to Rush Limbaugh's body.
- SDX has had problems finding black lace underwear since his weight gain. Luckily lady_alyria had a pair to spare.
- SDX really did know about the tranny. *wink wink*
The Ego
As the moderator of Brutal_Honesty, SDX instantly assumes that he is well known and can hang around with the cool kids. It also makes him think that people give a crap about his opinions. The 980th Catwoman hurts SDX's feelings by not knowing who he is.
The "Accident"
As a 20 year old in the Navy, one night, SDX drank too much and accidentally received a handjob from a transvestite. Little did it know that it's efforts were futile.
In SDX's defense, he was in Japan. She/it/whatever said it was from Brazil, and not having any prior knowledge of Brazilians, SDX's it-radar was rendered ineffective, just like his penis. Brazilian women, after all, are sometimes men.
In the transvestite's defense, it was horny and all the other guys had worked out that she was really a he.
Many commentators have wondered at the attraction of SDX to the transvestite. The answer, of course, is gravitational.
The Puppet
Because he was so keen on looking like a Great and Mighty Moderator, SDX took himself far too seriously and became the prey of people more intelligent than him. Alas, this included a certain dwarf - yes, that dwarf. Despite at least 100 warnings, SDX never banned him from the community.
At least, not until he upset a camwhore whom SDX wanted to cyber. Alas, the camwhore didn't want to cyber somebody as fat as SDX, so SDX became very sorry that he had kicked him out of the community.
In order to make him seem like less of a limpdick, SDX created a poll to let him back into the community.
The result was clearly in his favour but SDX suddenly got an attack of explosive amnesia and decided not to let him back into Brutal_Honesty.
It was all so touching. The puppet broke the strings of the puppeteer but instead of getting praise for being such a noble and courageous man, SDX got more shit for being a limped-dicked sack of crap.
YAWN
The Insults
SDX only ever has two responses to criticism. If he is attacked, his adversary's gender determines which insult he will use.
If female, SDX will say something along the lines of: "Have you got sand in your clit?"
If male, SDX will say something along the lines of: "You're not much of a man, are you?"
It is interesting that he says that to men given that he is impotent and, therefore, not a man at all.
The Apostrophe
SDX hates apostrophes. It is believed that one stole a pie of his when he was in the Navy.
The Asshole
SDX is seen chuckling to himself as he pisses off Gerbilsage in the worst way possible, hitting the ban button. SDX hit this button by accident because he thought it said "Bun". Instead of getting sugary, iced buns, he accidentally stopped the glorious and sexually active (if you count excessive masturbation) Gerbilsage from participating in Brutal Honesty. No more Brutal Honesty for poor old Gerbilsage...now he must cry and fill his personal journal up with stories of people from the mean old Internets.
The Whore
SDX is also a pov-rat attention-whore. Here we see him cry for PayPal donations because he's too poor to get his hand fixed. Please note that as well as asking people to dish out for his medical expenses, he also asked people to dish out for a paid LJ account. Quit whining, bitch and snap out of it like a fucking man. Those emo fags need their money for razors and furry porn.
Links
Anonynasty! During one of Jameth's memes, somebody makes a nasty comment about SDno-seX. Jameth decides to screen the comment, thwarting the anonynasty.
I'm fat! I'm fat! *dies* SDX discovers that he can't resist the deliciousness of two McDonald's burgers with fries and is too stupid to become bulemic The saved copy of that post
