User:Ronin Catholic
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Contents |
Who the Heck?
Total Jerkface is a Catholic of Irish ancestry. While he resides in Michigan, he is still very un-American. In America. He seems to think it funny to constantly make jokes about how annoying he is. He also makes comuter games, all of which suck. While he was born on November 24th, 1987, he wishes badly to be a 13 year old forever. He makes up for being an old fart by always acting like a 13 year old boy. Oh, he's also a retrogamer.
Why Ronin?
He liked the Ronin Warriors anime, was an Otaku, and a Roman Catholic.
Furriness and Otakudom
Ronin Catholic is one of the few intelligent people to escape from the clutches of the Furry Fandom. Simultaneously, he gave up being an Otaku. This is a testament to the awesome powers of God, Jesus, Nintendo, and ED.
Religion
Raised by his Baptist father and Catholic mother, he is the eighth of ten children. His father is expected to become a deacon at their local Catholic Church at some point.
Being a Catholic, he beleives the usual Catholic doctrines; Pokemon and Harry Potter being alright because the Pope says so; eating Jesus; killing abortionists.
Fanfic
Ronin has written fanfics of himself. In these, Ronin goes to Japan and is hired as a samurai. When asked to cut himself, he refused and was kicked out. After this, he grows a tail and wings for some reason.
Then he kills an entire army with one fireball spell, which gets him an invite to join Buttwarts School of Spellcraft and Magery(no, seriously, that's what it was called in the story). He was trained in the mystic ways by Harry, Ron, Hermoine, and Draco Malfoy. The school is overrun with persians. One of the friends he makes here is Amy from Sailor Moon.
Then he gets in a fight with a goth version of himself from another dimention who is armed with a lightsaber. He wins by going Super Saiyan(which makes him look like a Pikachu).
Then the world gets messed up because he did an Arfenhouse parody for episode six, so in seven he gets sent to Australia to repent of his crimes. After that, there's some stuff about him wanting to watch furry porn, then a parody of Hamtaro, then a parody of One Piece, then some more fighting himself, then a parody of Sonic Adventure 2, then a fightoff between Cap'n Crunch and Lucky.
Then, for episode 15, he wrote a story about his in-story girlfiend eating him. When the actual user this character was based off of complained, Ronin made it a running gag for another fifteen episodes for his character to try to get eaten while she refused his affections.
Finally, for episode 31, Jesus destroyed the entire universe that the fanfic took place in. Good riddance.
Only a few weeks after this, the website this fanfic was hosted on got deleted. He claims that it had over nine thousand views, but there's no way to verify this and at least half of those were him checking his spelling. Oh, by the way, it was called Ronin Catholic Z. Again, good riddance.
Copypasta
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