User:R32GTR/Tiësto
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Tiësto (aka Tijs Box, Tiësta, Quëërësto) is a 40-year old fart Dutch faggot bedroom DJ who only made it big because of piracy and stealing other peoples work (no Srsly), he also thinks he is a "trance DJ" even though he doesn't even make his own damn music. Born 100 years ago to two gay transsexuals. He also quite known for his donkey looking teeth. Some people say he is the greatest DJ EVARR!
Contents |
"Musical career"
So called Music
His career is nothing but lulz. With Over 9000 albums, he's been rehashing the same garbage since day one - gay faggotry male vocals with utter boring nintendo noises (shit you will most likely skim through) and plasters his gaydar face on the front. On every occasion he trainwrecks a set, which is fucking strange because he plays pre-recorded sets!. He and his gay lover, Ferry Corsten (aka Fairy Whoresten) and their love child Armin van Booring are the leading Dutch morons destroying EDM music and turning it into a faggot fest, turning ravers into Gayvers.
Fagyella Gouryella and CUMaya Painters
Some years ago, he and his gay lover decide to get married and create a project called "Gouryella" (aka. Lolyella). Making tunes longer than 10 minutes with shit melodies that sounded like tribal music, although Tiesto never did anything and took credit for all of the productions, this lead to their divorce in 2002.
Behind Fairy's back, Tiesto cheated on him with another shit DJ called Benno De "lulz" Goeij, and again formed a crappy project "Kamehameha Painters" - again Tiesto didn't do shit. After that, Tijs box started to potray himself as a straight person.
Some Tijs facts, TIESTO FACTS!!!!
Tijs Box fans & The Internets
His fans are a unique breed; mostly consist of 15-18 year old fucktards fresh out of High School and 16 year old girls, who don't know a fucking thing about music to begin with, yet they think Tiesto is creator of trance, the second coming of Jesus Christ - they discovered "teh trance kingg" through youtube and piracy. They also can't help but shout "OMFGZZ TIESTOO IS NUMMBA 1111!!! HE WAZZ VOTED #1 ON DJ MAG OMFFGS". They are also bedroom DJs with cracked software of Fruitloops who think they are producers themselves just because of that., they also make shitty DJ mixes with shit mixing that last for over 9000 hours. His fans are also tough dudes that illegal find mislabeled tunes then upload it onto Jewtube with Tiesto's name on it, even though it's not his. Instead of dancing at his concerts, they just stand there like dumbshits and stare at him (aka DJ Whores) like he is god.
Instead of having anything better to do, they surf the web and jackoff to Tiesto pictures, and every year some popularity contest called, DJ top 100 shows up - that's when the Tijs bots come out and vote for him, they also call "wtf h4x" when he's not numba #1!!!
Fan Facts
- Extremely low IQs - cannot hold conversation without saying something about the him.
- Usually shop at Abercrombie & Fitch, lulz.
- DRINK LATTE!!!!
- Support terrorism, gay marriage and other commie bullshit.
- Become butthurtz when you make fun of Tiesto, and will mostly defend him until the death.
- Hate America, even though the majority are Americans lol.
- Barack Hussein Obama supporters.
- Anti-lulz
- Bring up Tiesto's engineer, you will get a response like: "WHY U JEALOUSS OF HIMM!!?? TIESTOO IS TEH KING OF TRANZZE!"
| —Tiësto being gay as always. |
| —Tiësto admitting the truth. |
Videos
Tiësto revealing his musical secrets
Photos
 First album. |
 Fans saluting to their leader. |
 His engineer. |
 Battle of the DJs. |
See also
- www.trance.nu/ Fun place for Anti-Tijs.
