User:LULz OR GTFO

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

"YEEHAW! FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOUR LAWYER!" -Cowboy builder; Modern Toss.

Paper Trail

A Paper Trail is a IRL drama generating technique.

• Next time you go to Safeway or another large supermarket, head for the magazine aisle. There are usually 8 or 9 subscription postcards on the floor, which have fallen from various magazines. Pick them all up and take them home. It doesn't matter which magazines they are from, but it's extra lulzy if one is Psychology Today.

• • Then, fill them all out with names like Ron Hubbard, Xenu Hubbard, Ron Xenu, David Xenu Miscavige. Bonus lulz and epic win points for using Sara Northrup or Mary Sue Hubbard for subscriptions to women's magazines, as these were two of the IRL wives of LRH. Give the address of your local "Church" of Scientology. Always go for the two-year plans, choose free gifts when offered, etc. Car and Driver, Tiger Beat, Seventeen, Guns & Ammo, High Times, Model Airplane Builder, they're all good.

• • You can also have some of these names give "gift" subscriptions to the others. So, for example, Ron Hubbard at the Los Angeles "Church" address, can sign up for two years of Cat Fancy, and give two years of it as a gift to his pal Dave Miscavige in San Francisco! "Bill me later!" Lulz me now!

• • Now, you will probably not get to personally see the havoc you will cause, but you can certainly imagine these serious Scientologists trying to clear up these misunderstandings with the magazine companies, who will soon begin to send angrier and angrier form letters to the "Church," in addition to several issues of the magazines. Normal people, of course, would ignore the whole situation, but the Scientologists will waste limitless, countless hours on the phone, showing up in person, etc. trying to fix it (aka, "Handle", with a rough situation for them being called a "flap". Stir enough shit and you create a HUGE "flap". A massive flap is known as a "Hill 10"), spelling out all the subscriber names, magazine titles, etc. It will be incredibly and unrelentingly futile and infuriating for them. Therein lies your joy.

• • All magazine subscriptions (in the USA) are processed through contractor companies based for some reason mostly in Iowa. The editorial offices in New York won't have the faintest idea of what to do. The subscription offices in Iowa employ retired, half-sane, half-blind old people and people who got fired from Goodwill to sort the hundreds of thousands of postcards and do data entry. It will simply not be fixable.

• • Repeat this procedure every time you go to the supermarket, bookstore, library, etc.

• • Don't try doing this through online subscriptions. Interestingly, a "paper" trail now also means that it is "untraceable."

• • Needless to say, don't mention the CoS on the subscription card. The correct format will be something like this:

Address Book of potential penpals - USA only

A

B

Jack Black ? George Bush ? George W. Bush ?

C

Hillary Clinton ? William Clinton ? Anne Coulter ?

D

E

Eric Corley

F

G

William Gates 1835 73rd Ave NE, Medina, WA 98039 (Source http://www.papertoys.com/gates.htm )

Emmanuel Goldstein - See Eric Corley

H

Paris Hilton ? Ronaldo Hubbard 701 Montgomery Street San Francisco, CA 94101

I

J

Steven Jobs ?

K

L

M

Michael Moore

N

O

P

Q

R

S

T

U

V

W

X

Y

Z

NEEDS MOAR

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