User:Eljay dramatica/Not this planet
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
not_this_planet AKA Dylan, AKA John, AKA Mike, AKA sarjmarteen, was the maintainer and pro-ana leader of the proanorexia community. Also know for his luv of teh banhammer and approving the applications of every ana4prom wanna that applied there. Note: donating $5 to his "Help A Girl Get Better" fund will result in next day approval to the community as will buying his CD Still Alive at Daybreak.
He worked 16 hours online, 7 days a week constantly fighting to save his precious inferior anaz from suicide at 3am Californian time (specifically Huntington Beach). He continuously worked behind the scenes undisturbed until, in 2007, he released his sacred age of 57 into the el-jay world and created this extensive application to get into the community asking for a detailed history of everyone’s eating disorder and all this information on them. There was talk he was storing IP’s and emails in his computer on people.. This lead to many "outside attacks" but he insisted that "the things they are saying aren't true" even though they were a direct transcript from him, leading to anaz leaving him and his precious sanctuaries.
In September 2008 he begun charging underage anaz for admission to the land of then-was wannas, claiming that he needed more income and appreciation as he was spending all his time preventing suicides. He had a brainwave and soon decided to charge young vulnerable girls $950 for private treatment per month, then upped it to $10,000 which he felt was pretty "cheap for six months treatment". An intelligent debate started in ed_ucate in which number one proana follower king_josie appeared fighting off the angst claiming it only sounds cultish because he is shit at putting himself across.
Soon after, the wanna bashing comm, lol_anaz, began bashing his new CRONie treatment ways. After many planned attacks discussed in lol_anaz_trollz, thousands of emails thrown to starz@soon.com and countless posts questioning the cult leader, a deal was formed; Dylan had manipulated the maintainers into banning discussion of him and lol_anaz_trollz would be deleted in return for his creepy advice community being "shut down" (aka no new posting but leaving all tips and tricks of the ana master still available). Dylandetective was formed to continue investigating and bashing this seriously mentally ill old proana leader. Dylan had many moles in there as he had nothing better to do then pry on the enemy, claiming many lives had been lost to suicide as he was too busy with troll attacks. He begun sending out spam emails to his army suggesting they get inside advice and support him at all costs - questioning him led to him showing them his banhammer. Soon after, pro_rantorexia was created to try and trick him and his sock puppets, they found many of Dylan's second best friend (after his queen king_josie), 15 year old Lauren's sock puppets.
He went a little banhammer crazy towards the end of the year, deleting people who disagreed with him (including the famous & loved 3, caaaaarter, gemxpink and dr_model_xx.), promoted, or did anything else that drew people away from his website.
In January 2009 after multiple troll attacks claiming that Dylan was old, perving on pictures and the most proana person you will ever see, Dylan switched to sarjmarteen in order to gain back the anaz trust. Cats were posted all over the community, as well as photos of Beth (LOL), and still Dylan did nothing leaving superwoman (aka fighting2win) to do everything. (It is not yet confirmed if the trio were responsible for the troll attacks before Dylan was canned.) The whole idea was that Dylan wanted people to leave proanorexia so that they would join his fail ace55 proanorexic website. However, he failed miserably as usual as dylandetective soon discovered he had been converting girls to his failz site ace55.com (that has since been shut down because his RL friend John is sick of his shit and stopped paying) since his departure date. He had also forgotten to change the time zone of his new UK account from Cali to London, resulting in many confused anaz.
Dylan appointed 3 users in January to be his AnA-law-enforcers, fighting2win, h00dr1chh and his number 2 best friend, justtryingtofly. He set up a report board that didn't work due to javascript (comments appeared to be saved but weren't (pa10), check the script.
Where is Dylan now? Dylan has not been online for 2 weeks, it has been noted that he is creating his own ana sanctuary free from LJ and bashers. We wonder if this cult leader has come to a dead end and how high suicide rates will rise once he is gone forever.
UPDATE! June 2009 Dylan had been busy working on ace55.com during March and April. During these months, Dylan neglected the communities in a bid for them to flock to his new grooming site, ace55.com. However, this failed miserably as two well known unnamed PA LJ users came to the rescue by first trolling the shit out of his proanorexia community and having a new maintainer appointed. (I can confirm that LJ do not log IP addresses of trolls ;]) Livejournal then came to the rescue after a long phone conversation and appointed superwoman as maintainer, who amazingly turned the site upside down and improved it 100%, taking it from pro-ana to 24/7 REAL support.
Dylan was notably PISSED when he discovered his negligence had led to literally his life being taken away, emailing superwoman 10 times an hour demanding the community back. An unknown member also sent Dylan various emails of youtube videos regarding each situation to his new email address (stars2@soon.com ;]) and another member called the police but to no avail. Dylan refused to shower, wearing his clothes without washing them for weeks and went into a manic state. At this current moment he is planning on taking back proanorexia using Java Scripts (lulz) but LJ are on alert and I can confirm that proxies will not work as LJ have recently upgraded software which disables IP masking, however it may appear that the IP is being masked but it is not and you will be busted the second you even think about it.
