United Nations
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
The United Nations is an exclusive international organization that is consistently and constantly abused by every fucking nation in the world. Fo' real. The UN has five Permanent UN Security Council Member Nations, that dictate how everyone else should live. These include the People's Republic of China (chink cunts who will kill your children with lead poisoning); France (egotistical bastards, who thinks the world revolves around them and their shitty dead language); Russia (Soviet twats, who would conquer your lands and rape you if they could); the United Kingdom (can't even sort out their own fucking mess of a country, let alone anyone else's); and the United States (likes to invade countries by lying to other nations, land of fat cunts). So, with these charming permanent states, is it any wonder the UN can't do anything? If you are not a Permanent UN Security Council Member you are required (on pain of death), to publicly goatse in the General Assembly thrice monthly. This leads to "lesser" member states becoming bitches of the Big Five Muthafuckers.
This is how international politics works:
- 1: I have fucking oil
- 2: You want it
- 3: I say no
- 4: You cry and have a tantrum at the UN
- 5: UN members say I'm a cunt
- 6: Epic Trolling
- 7: UN Members are too fucking pussy to obey their own Resolutions
- 8: America invades a tiny oil-rich country
- 9: ????????
- 10: Prophet!!!!
IRL Because the UN is not America's bitch, the U.S has refused to pay over $1.3 billion to it. Dubya has said that it will only pay the U.N the money it owes if all member states announce their submission to America. This has unfortunately aggravated Putin's furry blowjob sessions. During the Israeli-Lebanon conflict in 2006, the Jews bombed a UN station deliberately for Lulz, because Jewland is a vassal state of America, dozens of UN employees were killed.
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[edit] Current Leadership of the United Nations
That fucking asian, Ban Ki-moon is now Secretary General of the UN, having replaced notorious UN failfag Kofi Anan. It remains to be seen if he can actually reform the useless bitch that is the United Nations and fuck up the Big Five Muthafuckers.
[edit] A Very Brief History of the United Nations
In April of 1945, a group of furfags convened in San Fagcrisco with the stated intention of creating a new world body to replace the failfag League of Nations. However, being furfags, they wasted much time having buttsecks and holding ponderous, day-long conferences on how it isn't really gay if two men have sex while wearing animal suits, as well as minting such dubious words such as "fursona" and "yiffing", and drafting page after page of official language condemning what they termed "fursecution". This was an ominous start to the organization and set the precedent of bureaucratic inefficiency and flaming faggotry that continues to this day.
In October of 1945, having exhausted the entire West Coast supply of lubricant, they finally ratified their Charter and the United Nations came to be. It would take them another two years to design the now-familiar official United Nations flag, mainly because some sissies whined about the original design being centered on North America (who pay all the bills, amirite?), and because the furfags couldn't agree on which animal print to use. The deadlock was finally broken by Winston Churchill, who proposed mudkip blue, reasoning "Fellow furries, it is a most elegant solution that has the added virtue of making perfect sense. Who among us doesn't liek mudkips?!!!1!"
As a nod to their furry origins, The United Nations chose to erect their Headquarters in Turtle Bay on the East River of New York. (Noted briefly: the Infamous Lolz Turtle has never been seen in Turtle Bay, nor will he ever be. UN are SERIOUS BUSINESS.)
These fuckers do nothing at all but sit on their fat political asses and hug their money. commiting any crime they please and getting away with it because of their fucking diplomatic immunities concerning that nation. FUCK THE U.N YOU LAZY BASTARDS! we're talking about a group that originated from the league of nations which also didn't fucking do anything.
[edit] Major Accomplishments of the United Nations
- Fucking the world one nation at a time.
[edit] The Future of the United Nations
A Secret Plan devised by Dubya and former United Nations ambassador John Bolton (code-named 'Operation For Great Justice') will evict the United Nations from their Headquarters without prior notice. Simultaneously, a press conference will be convened in which W will announce that he "did it for the lulz". Americans everywhere will rejoice, high-five and then watch Football. Furries will baaaaaaaaaw, declare a state of emo-gency and speed-dial 911 for a fleet of waaambulances. A complete gut-job by Halliburton will follow with the end result being a mix of low-income housing and retail and office space. Clients already signed up include Applebee's, The Sharper Image, The Gap and Fox News, who intend to turn the 36th and 37th floors into their main East Coast studios. This will be very lulzy when it happens, so don't tell anyone, 'kay?
