Ulillillia

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

This person has Assburgers Syndrome,
so you can't say anything bad! :-(

Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck.

Our greatest living mind, welcome to generation 2.0

Ulillillia (uh-li-lilly-uh) is fucking batshit insane, and nobody knows it more than him. This is evident even in his chosen handle, he explains (see 6.1) that this name in part originates due to him having "a big mental problem": thus, the phrase ill appears. Other than that, the letters are in reverse alphabetical order, and it's oddity allows for him to have no problem signing up for various sites. At first glance, his Youtube channel and website bring nothing to mind except a guy who really enjoys video games. Which he is, but there is more to him than manically replaying Bubsy 3D. Not much, but more.

Ulillillia City

As well as having one of the hardest to read nicknames ever, he also has a web page with more shit on it about absolutely nothing than you can believe. Google web crawlers get lost in here. Page after page after page of blue on black text detailing his neurosis, mathematical habits and hobbies, dreams and daydreams, and the games he plays while he's dreaming or daydreaming. The entire site is a long slow burn of lulz for the refined Internet gentleman, who enjoys the more sublime nature of Autism on the web.

Fears

One of the best pages on his site enumerates his list of fears. One of the most interesting aspects of Ulillillia's character is the fact that he realizes his fears are unfounded. He does not try to justify or rationalize them; he knows they have no basis in reality. Highlights include:

Mirrors - Origin unknown, even to Ulillillia. His fear of mirrors has caused many problems for him, not the least of which was an incident in July of 2008, involving his parents and a then-recently installed bathroom mirror.

"#12 Bathroom troubles - parents + mirror: Years ago, the main bathroom was rebuilt. It was in great need of it - the floor was weak and you could almost fall through it, especially in the areas near the toilet. As kids, me and my sister occasionally and deliberately flooded the bathroom. Then, around 6 years ago or so, my parents rebuilt the bathroom, including the floor. They rearranged everything. They got this one big mirror and placed it so that it was directly in front of the toilet. I warned them not to put it there, but they refused. I knew that later on down the road, arguments about it would occur and I'd keep saying "unblock it first" when they tell me to use it instead of the master bedroom's bathroom. This continued on for years, but usually only two to four incidents per year and nothing major. Then, along came July for 2008.

I got into a heated argument over it, the worst of all that I can recall. These actually continued for 2 or 3 days, longer than ever before. I began using my tricks to sort of "sneak it in" and this went for only 2 days. As I frequently had in my mind drifts (not my mind game), I often stated of the parents having three options. The first was to simply get rid of the mirror. It'd be the easiest and most trouble-free. The second would be to move it, as a recommended. The third would be to do nothing but let me use the then-current bathroom I was using. After getting into trouble over this, I, literally, avoided going to the bathroom. I drank a lot less than usual and I ate a lot less. At one point during the argument, I had thoughts of actually busting the mirror and I've busted many before that have blocked access to important areas (including the phone). The parents put curtains over it as an attempt, but that's nowhere near good enough."

Ketchup and mustard bottles - This is because they remind him of the dangerous lava found in Metroid.
Sun-lit ground - Also lava, also Metroid.
Stairs - Ulillillia does not walk up stairs, instead he scales them, as if they are an insurmountable hill. This also involves a catapult-like use of his backpack, which might provide him with inertia. Allegedly, he has no trouble going down stairs, and no trouble with stairs period in his Mind Game.
Chairs - His fear of chairs is particular, as booths and couches are considered acceptable. His fear of chairs is a x6 + 5 Inhibitor of a Getting a Job. Doing the mundane and repetitive office work that would best suit his personality is an impossibility, because he couldn't sit up in one of their chairs. His suggestion for businesses who may be looking to hire him is to move the set-up to the floor.
Blue Water - Once again, originates in video games. Touching blue water in most 2D Platformers of his favored era meant instant death. Due to this, he believed that if he touched or stepped in any water from a swimming pool, puddle, lake, or any sort of outdoor source of water; he would die. Showers are "white water", but that doesn't change the fact that he has a Motive of -30 when it comes to taking them.
Waiting in line - This fear originated in Elementary school. Because Ulillillia was bullied frequently in school, he tried his best to avoid having anyone behind him in line in fear of being bulled from behind. (kids spitting at the back of his head,surprise buttsex; etc.) To avoid this, he would allow anybody who got on line after him to move in front of him.
"Person" and "People" - Ulillillia has a chronic fear of these two words. The origins of this fear rest in an unknown cartoon. In said cartoon, one of the characters said the phrase, "Save my people!" For some reason, this upset Ulillillia and eventually lead to his fear of the word. (and the singular form of it) In school, he would often be given questions that contained these words. When presented with them, he would scribble over the words with his pencil until they were completely hidden from view by pencil markings.
Whistling - Ulillillia cannot stand whistling. If he detects whistling in the vicinity, he will enter a state of rage. In said state, he will ask the whistler to cease his or her whistling. If he or she continues, Ulillillia will ask them again in a slightly angrier tone. If he or she still continues to whistle, Ulillillia will exit earshot of the whistling.
22 - Ulillilllia considers this number to be bad luck for him.

Mind Game

He plays a goddamn video game in his head all the time, and will periodically trance out to do so (stated as one of many reasons he doesn't have a drivers license). The game basically consists of flying around on mountains or some shit. He has painstakingly laid out the details for us all, including some animations with STRONG 3D GRAPHICS.

He began playing his mind game when an enemy of his went on vacation in the Bahamas. Ulillillia tried to imagine what it was like there, so he created a mental image of what it might be like. This wasn't enough for him, so he began to imagine himself (In 8-bit form.) running around on a pixelated beach with palm trees all over the place.

Now he plays it constantly. He could be right in the middle of a conversation when he will just close his eyes to imagine a pixelated version of himself flying through a pixelated valley of clouds.

He has actually written a program that is supposed to give us all "a taste" of what his mind game is like, and it is on there too. God help us.

It should also be noted that he has no trouble walking in front of mirrors in his mind game.

Relation to The Game

The way to introduce a new Chan Overlord.

On 7chan last Thursday, a thread appeared discussing Ulillillia. Surviving several days due to notorious bumps, one Anon questioned if it was possible that The Game could have been of Ulillillia's design. Bricks were shat and lulz were had.

Dreams

Ulillillia keeps an online record of all the dreams he's ever had since 2001. Every dream is rated in each of the following: general, nature, story, scenery, fun, scary, weird, and imagery. Every dream is then categorized in one of the following:

Mud dreams - Dreams about large quantities of mud (occasionally quicksand). He notes these to be his favorites.

One notable dream in this category featured Ulillillia wading in a seemingly endless lake of pure mud along with four other people he had never seen before. This excited him. He notes this dream to be his favorite overall and is, evidently, the dream that started his online journal.

Video game dreams - Dreams about video games.
Water dreams - Dreams about water. Dreams about blue water, however, automatically go in nightmares.
Nightmares - Scary dreams. Often involve mirrors or blue water.
Travel dreams - Dreams about traveling. This category is, by far, the largest.
Uncategorized dreams - Dreams Ulillillia can't find a category for.
Weird dreams - Dreams he considers to be weird.

One notable dream in this category featured Ulillillia locked in an epic battle with a ferocious lizard in a pet store. He notes defeating it with the help of numerous magical spells.

Fun dreams - Dreams he considers to be fun.
Computer dreams - Dreams about zeros and ones.
School dreams - Dreams about Ulillillia's old schools.
Exploration dreams - Dreams about exploring unknown lands.

His dream log can be found here.

Showers are Rare

Another long list of personal problems. In it he cites among other things his detailed reasons for rarely showering. His lack-of-desire to shower is a real Ouroboros, as he states that his Motive for showering would go up exponentially if he had somewhere to go, but he is unable to get a job in part due to his unwillingness to shower. (The other part being his refusal to sit in a chair.)

Eating Habits

When it comes to food, Ulillillia is quite picky. According to him, he used to eat a wide variety of foods in his younger years. But as he aged, his menu narrowed. As of today, his diet consists entirely of:

"Degreased" Pizza
Hamburger Helper (without the hamburger)
Snack Foods (chips, cookies, crackers, etc.)

Due to Ulillillia favoring artery-clogging food, he has gone through problems with his weight. At age 18, he found himself to weigh approximately 220 lbs. And what did Ulillillia do about this? Rather than doing something normal and exercising for the first time ever, he began using a technique he calls, "degreasing." From then on, before consuming his pizza, he would take several napkins and use them to absorb the grease from the pizza. Through some miracle, Ulillillia lost 85 lbs. from this process. We are left to wonder how the fuck this happened, considering he never leaves his house.

Nowadays, due to Ulillillia's busy schedule, he has very limited time for eating. He now eats only one meal each day. However, if there is no pizza or hamburger helper available, he will simply go without eating for that day. That's our Ulillillia!

Fun Fact: Ulillillia has not eaten a single morsel of meat since 2005.

Early Development

January 10, 1984: Ulillillia enters our world.
Ulillillia finds he has some trouble remembering certain things about his childhood. Usually, his Mind Game will jog his memory, and remind him of formerly forgotten aspects of his life.

Although, he does seem to remember playing video games since age four.

Elementary School Blues

Young Ulillillia was told to "drop it" every time he brought up blue water, and the inherent dangers thereof, on his school bus.
He did not enjoy his school's lunchtime rule that the children eat three different things, and in protest would only eat eight (8) cubic centimeters of food-- exact measurements taken with ruler. Even as a young child, he was precise in his neurosis.
Ulillillia develops his fear of waiting in line.
Ulillillia begins making buzzing noises immediately after someone were to say the word, "cool."

It is noted that he has recorded almost every time he has done this.

By the end of 3rd Grade, he estimates that one in every thirty students was a bully to him. In 5th grade, this number increased to one in sixteen students, bringing his Exact Bully Total to 30. His compatibility with this was -450.

Junior High

In 6th grade, Ulillillia begins taking 'special' classes. He notes that the desks were quite strange; you opened them by lifting the top, much like "the lid covering the scanner of a copying machine". The carpets for this room were of 80 brightness, on average.
There was a points system in place for good behavior; Ulillillia enjoyed this, and the sodas that his sweet disposition garnered.

Although he rarely found himself in the "Time-Out" room, he did enjoy spending the moments he spent in there, playing his favorite game: Hit-A-Bump. Hit-A-Bump, of course, involved throwing things -such as flash cards- short distances.

He once spent upwards of two hours in the room for refusing to eat the pudding his school served. According to Ulillillia, "The pudding was good," but the spoon provided failed to meet his requirements.

In 7th grade, he was given the responsibility to choose whether or not he'd eat. He often chose not to do so at all, as the food options were not always degreased cheese pizzas or Hamburger Helper WITHOUT the hamburger.
The weight-lifting room was located beyond a labyrinth of mirrors, rendering him incapable of entrance.

Related: Ulillillia weighs 145 pounds.

7th grade he begins to walk up stairs in his unique fashion; scaling them as one would whilst climbing a mountain. Prior to this year, he was able to walk up stairs as one normally would.

In school, he found it easier to use his backpack to catapult himself up a flight.

He notes that he has no trouble climbing stairs in a normal fashion in his mind game.

In 8th grade, he discovers that Granite is one of his favorite substances.
By the end of middle school, he calculates that his bully count is now over 50.

High School

In high school, he discovers his "charge" technique, which in football helps him run at a maximum of 15 MPH.
After a Freshman year full of misery and strife because of bullies and mirrors and mirror-bullies, he transfers to an entirely different special school.

This special school also ends in failure, so he begins to have his homework mailed to his home. This also does not work.

Eventually, he is allowed to be taught one-on-one, during after school hours. We are left to wonder how his parents managed to pull this off.
He graduates.

How Ulillillia managed to pull this off (considering he blanks out every few minutes to play his mind game) will never be known.

Post-Graduation

"When it comes to high school graduation, one would normally think of a fancy prom or party. I'm not exactly sure what a prom is, but have heard about them, seemingly for college. I was unlucky. I never had a graduation party, even though I did get my high school diploma. The teachers were thinking about it, it just never seemed to have happened. Oddly enough, my sister did. I've had nothing but failed parties so far (even birthday parties), the high school graduation party is one of those failed parties."

He doesn't know what a prom is.

They're all gonna laugh at you, Ulillillia!

Youtube Channel

Ulillillia maintains a Youtube channel, dedicated mostly to videos of him exploiting glitches and discovering bugs in video games that no one remembers. The most prolific of these 273 videos is his overview of the glitches found in Bubsy 3D. He's played this particular game for 500 hours, he estimates. Do not challenge him on his Bubsy expertise, for you will certainly be proven wrong.

its 243 paw points...what difference does it make :__(

In addition to bug and glitch videos, he has a series on how he processes his music. His music being various instrumental video game themes, sped up or slowed down to his pleasure.

these playcounts are not edited

Recently (as of October 23rd, 2008), Ulillillia has added a series of videos documenting his trip to Minneapolis. Mostly it is about the average freeway travel one may experience in the United States, but there also is a very rare clip of Ulillillia himself, silently wading into some sort of nuclear wasteland landscape. Very eerie footage, and could in fact be at home as an interstitial at some arthouse installation.

When I went there, it had visibility measuring in inches, about 8, and appeared brown up close

Ulillillia will delete any comments that use bad language, or are otherwise offensive. However, he will respond to almost all comments that he considers appropriate. That is not a call for trolls to dick with Ulillillia; please do not trample this gentle flower, allow him to blossom.

Imaginary Friends

Ulillillia had some vaguely humanoid imaginary friends growing up, all of which had special powers. His three main besties were:

Speed (Originally named Cinos) - A very fast guy.
Sliat - Very funny. Neither sex, but considered a Lady.
Knuckles - Large hands, orchid colored.

Out of all his imaginary friends, two still remain with him: Speed and Knuckles. Ulillillia has noticed that he is long past the age at which it is normal to have imaginary friends. One of his explanations for these two still remaining for him is that they may be "guardian spirits" sent from the heavens above to protect him from danger. (mirrors; water; ketchup bottles; etc.)

You can read about the rest of the gang here.

Interests Outside of Video Games

Ulillillia claims to have interests outside of video games. They consist of:

Uno
Survive the Flood (a variant of Uno of his own creation)
Mind Game (a game of his own creation)
Hit-A-Bump (a game of his own creation)
Dice Game (a game of his own creation)
Chess
Checkers
Fireworks (somehow, this is not surprising)
Wikipedia

Hit-A-Bump, particularly Version 6, should not be missed.

Ulillillia, Author

In the autumn of '09, Ulillillia finished work on his literary masterpiece, The Lengend of the 10 Elemental Masters, and had it published by vanity-press site Lulu. As is typical of such arrangements, the publisher requires a finished product and supplies no editing, typesetting, art, or for that matter any other kind of support. U-dogg therefore not only wrote the text but also handled the typography, interior illustrations, and cover art. The arrangement is probably ideal for his needs; books are printed on demand, so there's no initial press run, the publisher holds no inventory, and setup costs are nonexistent or close to it.

The plot is based around his imaginary friend Knuckles, a wizard-type character capable of powerful spells, as he undertakes an epic quest to defeat an evil force that pursues the Elemental Masters. You'd think that an interest in writing strong enough to see a book all the way through from concept to press should qualify for listing in the previous section as an "interest outside of video games" (because face it, that's a tremendous amount of work regardless of content) -- but you would be wrong. The book basically is a video game. Detailed diagrams show the positions and moves characters use to accomplish things like fighting or flying (think UP-DOWN-UP-DOWN-LEFT-LEFT-JUMP like, well, a video game), and everything in the world is spelled out with the kind of excruciating precision needed to program it.

Consider this excerpt from the first page:

Knuckles resembles a human, but with differences. Knuckles is neither male nor female, though referred to as a "he." Three-quarter-inch-thick dark-violet-colored (FFA000E0) fur covers his entire body. He is only 25 1/3 inches tall, 4 inches wide, and 2.5 inches deep. Knuckles gets his name from his large hands, 40% bigger than a human his size would have. A reflective, glittery, greenish (FFA0FF00) haze a half millimeter across borders his pupil. Knuckles has no nose and a mouth 2/3 as big. Every other aspect of his is that of what a human would have for his size. For details on the numerical colors (in parenthesis), see Appendix 5.

Yes, he spells out colors (in hexadecimal, of course) as 8 bits of alpha channel followed by 24 bits of R, G, and B for the full 32-bit value. It is a relief to know that Knuckles, with alpha FF, is fully opaque. Since Knuckles is two feet tall and covered in violet fur with no nose, no sex, and gigantic hands (with a mouth apparently 2/3 the size of the nose he doesn't have -- I don't get it either, but hey) you have to wonder what something that didn't resemble a human would look like.

As of mid-October 2009, the book is available for $12.95 (before shipping) and may be purchased from Lulu here. It offers a unique glimpse into the workings of one of the more interesting minds of our era; the cover art alone is worth the price of admission.

Comparison to Chris-Chan

One might say that Ulillillia can be compared to Chris-Chan in a number of ways. For one, both of them quite clearly have something very wrong with them and neither of them are going anywhere in life. However, Ulillillia differs from Chris-Chan on some key qualities.

Interests

Ulillillia and Chris-Chan both show interests in video games, and few outside that field. This is true to a certain extent. They both love Sonic the Hedgehog. However, make no mistake. Even in this, major differences can be named. They view their gaming consoles in very different ways.

Chris, as we all know, obsesses over his video games out of pure fandom. And, as evident in his comics, he plays his games only for their content. Whereas, Ulillillia, as made evident, likes his games for very different reasons. Ulillillia seems to only enjoy video games for their coding and relation to mathematics. A shining example of this would be in their videos:

Take note of what you just saw. Notice how Ulillillia's video was solely dedicated to explaining his discoveries in of one of his favorite games, while Chris-Chan's video focused on the custom content he made in the game (Chris-Chan's video was also mailed to Nintendo). You may also want to take notice on how Chris-Chan brings up his own life numerous times in the video, making it quite clear that he just wants the world to know about his own pathetic life and how he spends it. Ulillillia, on the other hand, expresses humility in that his video was just a simple, humble one to exploit glitches; something some people may find interesting. In short, Ulillillia actually takes into consideration what people think, whereas Chris-Chan is a pretentious fuck.

Aspirations

Ulillillia and Chris-Chan also differ in their aspirations. Chris expresses often how he yearns for a female partner and tries (with miserable results) to obtain one through his daring exploits of Sonichu, probably the stupidest idea anyone has ever had. Not only this, but he constantly attempts to fill that empty hole left by the absence of a woman in his life by masturbating furiously to hentai that he drew himself. Ulillillia, however, has shown no interest in ever having a woman in his life. Ulillillia is actually aware that his mental problems and obsessions in gaming would be found repulsive to women. However, Chris shows no shame in showing his bedroom, filled to the brim with children's merchandise, to the world and still wonders why he has never had a girlfriend.

Ulillillia and Chris-Chan also have shown that they would like to have their own video game. However, even in this, there is a major difference. Ulillillia has been spending the last few years of his life in front of his computer screen, building his game from scratch, armed only with his knowledge of coding and mathematics. Whereas, Chris-Chan's best attempt so far has been sending letter upon letter to Nintendo, basically begging them to make a game based on his comics. Ulillillia works diligently to achieve his goals, while Chris falls to his knees and begs other people to achieve those goals for him.

Mental Health

As mentioned earlier, Ulillillia and Chris-Chan both suffer from mental illnesses that prevent them from behaving like normal human beings. Chris-Chan is a High Functioning Autistic, which makes him socially inept. Ulillillia is also socially inept as well. However, contrary to popular belief, Ulillillia does not have Autism, nor does he have Asperger's Syndrome. Ulillillia has confirmed this himself. He has seen professionals and has been diagnosed with an extremely severe case of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. You're probably thinking, "Hey, that's not true. I know what OCD is, I watch Monk. OCD just makes you really neat and tidy," in which case, you're a fucking idiot. While it is true that OCD causes its victims to obsess over neatness and such, this only applies to mild cases. Ulillillia has a severe case, to the point that his mental problems extend past a point most people would understand. Ulillillia is not an aspie. (However, he will be referred to as one for our own convenience).

External Links

Ulillillia is part of a series on Aspies.

Ulillillia
is part of a series on
Dying Alone

Those Who Have Died Alone

Those Dying Alone

Their Methods