Troll

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

“	A Troll is more than the embodiment of the internet hate machine, trolls are the ultimate anti-hero, trolls fuck shit up. Trolls exist to fuck with people, they fuck with people on every level, from their deepest held beliefs, to the trivial. They do this for many reasons, from boredom, to making people think, but most do it for the lulz	„
—Mastertroll

“	Trolling is throwing a plastic bone in a cage with hungry wolves - they'll fight for it to the death just to find it's not edible.	„
—ErrorCode

A case study on trolls.

Protip: do not feed.

Successful troll is successful.

This is what you get when you feed the trolls.

Satan: the original Troll.

Trolls Trolling Trolls

Doing it right

The stamp of a master troll

A Troll, most commonly encountered on the internet, is any person who purposely causes controversy in a web community (by posting offensive and crude comments or provides advice) and disrupts shit for his own amusement to prove how extremely corrupt our society is. The term troll is subjective. There are many characteristics of a troll. The retarded people of course don't want to hear how corrupt the society is getting, so they claim to not "feed the trolls" by ignoring them. Trolls have been referred to in the web community as, trollers, assholes, jerks, and scum of the earth douchebags. In reality, the real trolls are the people who ignore the so-called trolls who were only just trying to reveal the problems with society.However, that could have been avoided by the retarded if they were able to control their emotional immaturity and instead find ways to solve the social issue.^{[citation needed]}

The term probably derives from "trolling" or "trawling", a style of fishing which involves trailing bait through a likely spot hoping for a bite. Troll is fine as a verb since trawling/trolling for comments and flames is innate troll behavior. Trolling is not to be confused with the gay slang verb "to troll", which means to trawl for anal sex, unless of course it's done by Perverted Justice.

A troll is born

Somewhere in a middle-class home, a mildly autistic teen held his dad's cock too tight for too long and therefore never managed to develop social skills or a sense of humor above that of a prepubescent boy. In frustration and anguish over his life being a complete failure and total waste of time, he joined up on the internet with his equals in a very special teenage rebellion exclusive for the worlds bottom-feeders: Downloading South Park episodes, being morbidly obese and bisexual, listening to metal and, finally, troll to feel any sense of superiority over the normal world that fucked them in the ass.

What is "Trolling"?

Trolling is a kind of prank and a lost art form, full of failed attempts and people who don't even know what trolling is.

Merely being unpleasant is not trolling. Serial killers, dentists, IRS auditors, and so on are not trolls. Trolls do what they do to produce a reaction, not to be unpleasant for its own sake. Moreover, showing a disagreeing opinion with another party is not troll, no matter how much that other party tries to claim you're trolling. Being stupid or laughed at because of your own nature also is not trolling.

Trolling is like throwing a spark on dry, quickly flamable material and watching it quickly ignite. If is not like using a blowtorch over damp wood for hours to force it to ignite. For instance, a proper a troll would make a single post that would start a shitstorm. A failed troll would go around being unpleasant incessantly, mostly being ignored, and only on rare occassion getting an inflamed response due to pure numbers.

If you only want attention, preferably positive and aren't out to cause a reaction, then you're an attention whore and not a troll. If you want some kind of reaction, but really can't stand negative except for many 1 or 2 people who are the butt of the joke, and want everyone else laughing with you, then you're a comedian, which is getting closer but still not quite it.

Even when someone knows how to troll, they usually fail to be funny and then experience troll's remorse A.K.A being a butthurt, empathetic, douchenozzle. Such feelings tend to pass once they realize that people who take the Internets seriously enough to get upset by trolling really ought to kill themselves. Once they reach this point, they are said to suffer from Internet troll personality disorder. After long enough, they may even develop Chronic Troll Syndrome.

The most important thing that any troll should remember is not to believe in what you are saying, and be comfortable with telling made up lies whilst avoiding the truth or any factual details about your own life because not only are these boring, they could be used to identify you (unless, of course, you also lie about the details of your life.) To avoid the onset of troll's remorse, follow this technique and just lead them further down the avenue of trolling, swallowing your bait hook, line and sinker.

Only when one is a skilled troll can they pull off trolling IRL, such as Agent Pubeit, Penis Pump Sex Scandal, IRL Harry Potter spoilers, etc.

Jon Postel

In 1981, a computer scientist, now known as “god of the Internet” for the influence he exercised over the emerging network formulated what’s known as Postel’s Law: “Be conservative in what you do; be liberal in what you accept from others.” Originally intended to foster “interoperability,” the ability of multiple computer systems to understand one another, Postel’s Law is now recognized as having wider applications.

To build a robust global network with no central authority, engineers were encouraged to write code that could “speak” as clearly as possible yet “listen” to the widest possible range of other speakers, including those who do not conform perfectly to the rules of the road. The human equivalent of this robustness is a combination of eloquence and tolerance — the spirit of good conversation.

Trolls embody the opposite principle. They are liberal in what they do and conservative in what they construe as acceptable behavior from others. The troll says: "You are not worthy of my understanding; I, therefore, will do everything I can to confound you."

Old Media

Trolls are evil, heartless, subhuman scum. They prey on the weak and will not stop until goatse is burned into the eyes of every man, woman and child on Earth.

History

This woman invented trolling.

Unsuccessful troll is unsuccessful

epic troll is epic

Trolling as we know it was invented by Socrates and called Socratic Irony. It was performed IRL. Unfortunately, primitive people found irony confusing and scary, so they forced him to drink hemlock and die. The technical term for rhetorical trolling is eristics: "Arguing for the sake of conflict as opposed to the seeking of truth".

The Bible writers were the OTs (original trollers). They were so fucking good people are still RRRAAAGGGGing over that bullshit today.

Quite possibly one of the lulziest cases of historical trolling occurred in 1857 in the British colony of India. The British included native-born soldiers, both Muslim and Hindu, into their army, and then royally pwned their asses by putting pig grease on the bullet cartridges for the Muslim soldiers, and cow grease on the bullet cartridges for the Hindu soldiers. These are paper cartridges, mind you, and every soldier was trained to bite open the wrapping in order to pour the gunpowder down the barrel. It was later recorded in the respective holy books of the two religions that every one of these soldiers burned for eternity in sand nigger hell.

Much lulz ensued until the Hindus and the Muslims found out and staged a revolt. Then the British killed them all, and even more lulz were had by all.

In the early 1700s two English writers, Trenchard and Gordon, trolled the English government with their Letters to the Editor, that were collected and published as Cato's Letters. These were extremely popular in the colonies and provided some of the arguments for American independence. Without trolling, America would not exist.

Trolling was later taught as a college-level course by Professor Tim Pierce, resulting in Wikicide.

U.S. courts have found that trolling is a Constitutionally-protected right (See the lulz here). Recently, trolling has been destroyed by retards who think that trolling is just spamming the same word over and over.

Another example of early trolling was in 1972 with the release of the film known as Pink Flamingos which had people eating dogshit!

How to tell a troll

Sometimes it's just fucking obvious.

You want to be careful when you are fighting a troll.

Inject both at once for Troll Superpowerz.

Most trolls believe that they are, in fact, funny. Anyone who does not agree with them is obviously either: overly sensitive, has no life, no sense of humor, or is a combination of two or all of these. In many instances, one can see where troll has in fact messed up but is too wrapped in his own little laugh to notice how much of a douche they have really been. These trolls are the easiest to identify, as they often stop leaving comments when it is obvious even to a monkey with a brain tumor that they have fucked it up, or when you see a comment that begins with telling the owner of the site/picture/story/etc that they suck for no good reason. To be absolutely sure, look for the word "lulz" anywhere in their comments, or YHBT at the end of the comments.

Additionally, attention whores are not trolls, just irl bimbos.

Queen of Trolling

Mickyy Moo: Queen of the Trolls

On the 26th of February 2010 it was decided on /b/ that Mickyy Moo is now the Queen of Trolling. The reason behind this decision was for her trolling power of Pissing 4chan off. It is advised that you approach the troll with caution, as it is known to turn into an attention whore or a camera whore at any random moment which the troll may decide.

Different kinds of Internet Trolls

Ironically, the owner of this is most likely a person you should troll.

Groups

A person affiliated with Bantown, the GNAA, Penis Pump, crapps, /i/, TA, PN, the Marcab Confederacy, or any other trolling organization.

Hater

Also, he trolled the world.

Hater is YouTube for troll. Being a bunch of illiterate trailer trash, your average YouTube blogger is unaware that internets exist outside of YouTube. Quite possibly because most of those internets require better than a third grade reading level to successfully navigate.

Trolling YouTube is deceptively simple. Just wait for some schmuck to post a video whining and crying over something nobody cares about (9/11) and post a response video calling them a drama whore. YouTubers are still naively sheltered from the realities of the internet, making their reactions even more lulzy. It's kind of cute.

Examples

Griefer

A video game species of troll. Griefers are unable to resort to the time-honored techniques of text-driven drama and, as such, have concentrated on ruining the game experience for others. This takes many forms, from breaching the fourth wall on roleplaying servers, to filling in-game chat windows with commentary about monkey fucking.

Then, of course, are the spawn campers, the lag-fags, and lets not forget the cheaters and the glitchers.

Griefers can often be ingenious in finding ways to annoy people, but more often than not they're just fuckwits.

myg0t is one of the most successful and well-respected raging (griefing) organizations.

Trolls in RPGs

In Dungeons & Dragons, trolls take full damage from acid and fire. Because trolls have green rubbery flesh and naturally enhanced regeneration, damage caused by slashing, piercing or bludgeoning is halved.
In World of Warcraft, Trolls are a powerful race of giant green bean people that live in towering can cities. They worship the almighty Jolly Green Giant.
All this RPG troll stuff came from trolls in Norse mythology. Lolki, god of mischief (among other things), invented trolling and shitty tribal art tattoos.

However, none of this is important, because everyone knows D&D and WoW are for gays.

Troll for a Day (TFAD)

Found on those rare well-heeled (adults with no lives) boards such as Yahoo's SCO board. A board may suffer from group think and stagnate. One poster will create a new pseudonym and log in to tweak the other posters into a flame war. The Troll for a Day will announce they are a TFAD (TFADing) and everyone will congratulate the regular after getting over their murderous impulses. Posters on message boards who have experienced this behavior will immediately try to label all newbies as "TFADs". These trolls are often pussies.

Troll Forums

Similar to the groups mentioned above, but different in that these groups work more like funnel web spiders. They create a forum with a ridiculous idea, and simply procede as anyone would expect of that forum. The true lulz come from the new users who managed to somehow get an internet connection running to their mobile home. A blown up troll forum.

Techniques

The 50 Hitler Post is a classic trolling technique, known both for its versatility and widespread appeal.

There's even tools to troll the blind.

Some techniques:

Always use proper grammar and spelling. Failure to do so will result in the obvious retort.
Choose an insane idea and STICK WITH IT. Ignore all other arguments and any other form of logic or common sense.
Kidnapping Jew soldiers. Classic Hezbollah troll for inciting Holy War and for Ninja Evangelist Christians trying to jump-start The Rapture.[1]
Use many sock puppets to try to convince everyone that someone at random is a troll.
Use people's ignorance about IP addresses to your advantage.
Use Caller ID Spoofing for general lulz via phone
Fifty Hitler Post
creating crapp
Fake journals
HAGGER?????????????????
Crapflooding
Memorial page tourism
Posting offensive links or images and claiming they are work safe
Using the word abortion in a sentence
Making a conservatism post in liberal comm or vice versa
Suing someone in Internet court
Listen to TrollfesT to get in the mood.
Hacker
Inane flame
Ministry of truth
Mail lists
Sprinkle "citation needed" tags into user comments on Wikipedia talk pages.
Google Drop their name all over the Internets.
Posting an offensive image as the userpage for a new user via administrative means on AE and then locking the page so it cannot be edited.
Even making the suggestion that racist stereotypes are, in fact, with merit.
Guides on trolling is also another good way to troll.
Go to Google and type in the words "UN fails to" and hit search. The least amount of results you will get is around 2,000,000. Largest amounts have been from 15,000,000 to 20,000,000.
Make an introductory post on a forum that starts out "Hi my name is _____ and im a scientologist from..." just sit back and watch the moral fags educate you and everyone else about Scientology while others try to stick up for you.
It is possible for one to troll by pretending to get trolled. Furthermore, it is possible for another to troll by pretending to be trolled by the one pretending to be trolled. The vicious chain continues on to the point where all are trolled simply by trying to follow and understand it.

The Troll's Prayer

A prayer for trolls made for the lulz.

Now I lay me down to sleep.
I pray thee not my trollz to take.
And if I die before I wake
I pray thee lord those Jews to bake.

It's burning, it's roaring;
The Jews are all mourning.
I stuck one on a pyre
And set him on fire
Lived he not to see the next morning.

One, two, gas a Jew
Three, four, gas them more
Five, six, get them fixed
Seven, eight, lay the bait
Nine, ten, gas them again!

Mister Jewish Lilo
Biked down the ass fault road
Up came a car and knocked poor lilo out
Out came the sun and dried up all the blood
And now Mister Jewish Lilo
Is no longer about.

Lilo was a little Jew
little Jew
little Jew
Lilo was a little Jew
His dong was short you know

Everywhere that lilo went
lilo went
lilo went
Everywhere that lilo went
that Jew would sleep with hoes

Next he took the greedy way
greedy way
greedy way
Next he took the greedy way
And launched campaign spinhome

Laughing, he went bike riding
bike riding
bike riding
Laughing, he went bike riding
The rest we're glad to know.

One little, two little, three little furries
Four little, five little, six little furries
Seven little, eight little, nine little furries
Ten little furry fags.
KILL EM!
Ten little, nine little, eight little furries
Seven little, six little, five little furries
Four little, three little, two little furries
One little furry fag.
ANYONE WANT TO DO THE HONORS?

Famous Trolls (Internet Related)

Here are a few examples of famous internet trolls. For a more complete list of trolls, see Trolling IRL.

Scandanavian Trolls

Those who enjoy myths and legands too much may notice an eerie similarity between trolls of scandinavian folklore and the assholes of the internet. For the full description of troll development, see Basement Dweller.

From internet overlords at Wikipedia:

“	They are often described as ugly or having beastly features like tusks or cyclopic eyes.	„
—Applies not only to trolls but most internet users.

“	6 milon juez died in teh Holocaust! I hop oan dai I cen kil all arabs!	„
—Jews are the best trolls. See the Irony in the comment?

“	The south-Scandinavian term probably originate in a generalization of the terms haugtrold (mound-troll) or bergtroll (mountain-troll), as trolls in this tradition are residents of the underground.	„
—And out of sunlight.

“	Trolls could cause great harm if vindictive or playful, though, and regardless of other things they were always heathen.	„
—Such as Richard Dawkins.

“	To ward off the trolls you could always trust in Christianity: Church bells, a cross or even words like "Jesus" or "Christ" would work against them.	„
—See previous comment.

“	They are often regarded as having poor intellect (especially the males, whereas the females may be quite cunning), great strength, big noses, long arms, and as being hairy and not very beautiful.	„
—And having a neckbeard.

Previous Quote | Next Quote

America trolls the trolls

A female Hispanic democrat recently presented a reasonable bill to congress because the pigs are probably sick of scraping dead furries and emo forum posters off of the sidewalk in front of their dumpy apartments. Now, you can get slapped with a felony and two years of jailtime for making 'normal forum users' cry online. Don't worry though, it will only apply to serious offenders! [2]

Though this bill is a source of much worry for trolls, and much praise from mothers of dead children, the bill is not expected to go through due to the fact it had been written by fat bitches, and is inherintly loosley worded and applies to only the worst of trolls who cannot grasp the fact that you can chain multiple proxies by simply knowing who is about to go take it to pm's. What do you think the odds of Pakistan releasing your useless IP info to India, who would then have to release it to the United States, are? Then they actually have to prove something, and with the average American jurors knowledge on teh internetz this would be impossible.

Add to the fact that Disney would literally knee snorkel in a parking lot, so that youtube can keep playing yiff, and one can conclude that massive amounts of lobbyist funding will go into making this bill useless before it hits table. or stopping it outright. (It is worth noting that youtube, even with google funding, would not surivive as a buisness unless this bill is stopped dead. Think of how many idiots there are daily on youtube, with the "intent to annoy."

If this bill did pass in its current form, it would be incredibly easy for anyone IRL troll the local American courtrooms by filing charges at the magistrates office, on massive amounts of youtube troll usernames. Anonymously, someone should contact Anonymous with this idea. How about you?

The only scary part is that while the supporters of the bill believe it will stop stupid bitches from killing themselves due to a mal-adjusted prozak perscription, meanwhile it will probably only amount to idiots getting kicked out of highschool for idioticly flaming a forum of a hell hole. Furthermore they may be threatened with community service if they do not plead guilty, similarly to how black people are hit up with twenty year sentances for things that do not outwardly effect society like trolling does.

Videos

Germans trolling the French in some sketchy African club.

Previous Video | Next Video

Dressing up as a snail on a busy freeway and crawling across it is a perfect example of trolling the working class.

Note the straight face yet invisible frustration Ken Sander exhibits when he got trolled on his public access show. These prank callers did it for the lulz even before there was a 4chan, /b/ or encyclopedia dramatica.

Also, listen to the raeg the radio hosts convey once a gang of trolls stumble upon their morning auction show!

Pay attention to the incredible trolling of the 13 year old boy halo fag. Kid prolly planned to hack him using his wicked ass CSIII skills

Gallery

Galleria Trollatica

Successful troll is still successful.

Transparent exploitable.

This replaced the other one.

You can troll admins by uploading unecessary large files.

Typical trolling of furfags (Can you find the hidden memes?).	Gabe Newell	Useless against most trolls.	animooted
Well, it is really.	Standard Troll Procedure (STP).		Your typical troll.
They hating.	Success!	Troll approaches.	Obvious troll is rather obvious.
Typical trolls.	A common reaction to trolling.	Troll for your country.	When the trolls get out of hand.
Well fed trolls will destroy us all, even this column.	They be hatin'. Lulzkilling, and tryna catch me postin' dirty.	Trolls NEVAR forget.	They never travel alone.
		Trolling pedos never gets old.	Srsly. He fell for it.
Poor grammar will raise the hairs on the back of Blargh's neck in a New York sec.	He ignored, tried to outsmart, blew up, begged...but just kept feeding the troll.	What it amounts to.	Listen to the dog.
Trolling national television is also a valid option.	When a troll succeeds, he often makes this face IRL.	What trolls want you to believe.	What IRL trolls want you to believe.
Your average internet troll at work.	Words of wisdom.	Furries vs. Trolls
	Trollin' a nigga cam.	o rly	DOING IT WRONG: No one's going to read all that, you faggot.
I can tell by some of the pixels.	Accessed thread is infected. Troll Detected!	Troll Vs. probably troll	Trolled hard
Troll IRL	Mass Trolling	Troll persecution	Grawp: notorious TOW troll.
Andy Kaufman, master of IRL trolling.	Gnome aren't trolls.	Trollhattan, Sweden. It's like Manhattan for trolls.	Handy chart to trolling /tv/.
Not exactly epic, but still fun.		IRL	How does one troll?
Sometimes Trolls, male and female, match up on internet to find love.	Bleach troll.	A troll with newfags.

Cool face. B) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f3SXBirhH7s

External links


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Featured article July 27, 2006
Preceded by Put shoe on head	Troll	Succeeded by Dollfie