Touhou

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

Forced meme ALERT:
Touhou will be posted by the same unfunny newfag until you like it.

Leaking and bleeding, that's what happens when you don't utilise focused movement.

Touhou is a series of games made by an alcoholic Japanese pedophile who calls himself Zun. Since its conception, Touhou has done its capitalist nation, Japan, proud by rapidly becoming the most successful franchise in Asian geekdom since the used tampons industry.

1 The Gameplay
2 Teh Gr4phix
3 The Fans
4 The ZUN
5 The Hijack
- 5.1 Chemo
6 Touhou 40k
7 Memes
- 7.1 TAKE IT EASY
8 See Also
9 See Also

[edit] The Gameplay

A synopsis with better artwork.

Touhou is an overhead shooter populated by a large selection of underage girls flying over large landscapes shooting each other to death. Unlike most Japanese games made for the PC, Touhou disappointingly does not revolve around rape or even dyke rape, but actual gameplay. To substitute this tragic deficiency, Touhou rapes its player with curtains of colorful death, raining down on your flying 16 year old girl like a gay pride parade from hell. If this dosen't give you an seizure you are a blind kung-fu master. Or you need to get laid. Also, on a happier note, if you are bad at Touhou you need to kill yourself.

[edit] Teh Gr4phix

The secret to his success

If anything can be said about Touhou, it's that it has the fugliest artwork thats has ever come out of a profitable merchandise since Megatokyo, but at least Zun had the excuse of being fucking wasted (you hear that Fred Gallager, I'm coming for you, you fat sack of crap).

[edit] The Fans

Touhou fandom is fanatical and large. A mass that threatens to overtake Arrakis and claim the spice for itself. Devotion is a gross understatement to these people, Touhou is not a game, it is a way of life, the only way that the God Emperor Zun approves of. Their investment into Touhou makes cultists look like church commuters.

And like the bloated, impregnated tentacle rape victim it is, Touhou fandom has belched from its bleeding birthing canal a shocking amount of amalgamated fan works. They range from poorly programmed carbon copies of the originals to dating sims that revolve around family values; there was even a ~~fully functional~~ fighting game made from it. All invariably have better art than the originals.

[edit] The ZUN

Alcoholic, pedophile, god. ZUN is everything a man can strive to be, a paragon of virtue and meaty muscle powered by vats of the finest ale. Where ZUN treads, Touhou fans fall to their knees offering their virgin mouths to please their radiant emperor.

[edit] The Hijack

Like the AIDs virus, Touhou came to 4chan.

Appearing first in /a/ as an ominous MS paint clip and initially dismissed as mere faggotry. The wee/a/boos ignored and/or banned the occasional upstart of the now commonplace Touhou hijack, unable to perceive the signs of the invasion. When the true tides of Touhou came to /a/, these malcontents of society were unprepared for the bombardment of Touhou fan art that descended upon them like a tsunami descending upon a small Philippine village.

Touhou Hijack, though most commonly found in /a/, has snaked its child killing tendrils into such other large boards as /v/, /m/, even /b/ (though any kind of child harming in /b/ is redundant). A time will come when 4chan must accept Touhou as part of its rich culture, and that time is soon.

[edit] Chemo

2/20/08: The Touhou Hijack, being a symptom of the cancer that is killing /b/ spreading to /a/ and elsewhere, has been neutralized through delicious chemo.

[edit] Touhou 40k

It is better to die for Mistress Yuyuko than live for yourself.

Tolerated in /a/, violently hated in /v/ (despite being a videya game lulz) Touhou, oddly enough, thrives on /tg/. Apparently, the lonely warhammer tabletop gamers, souls who spend their lives painting miniature figures as a substitute to discovering the joys of womenz and sex have found attraction to this xenomorph, as well as the finest drawfags outside of /i/ and /b/. Whatever the mind-boggling reason may be, Touhou's ability to survive and prosper on /tg/ shall remain one of nature's mysteries until subject to further study.

[edit] Memes

Like any subculture that proliferates on the corrupt soil of 4chan, western fans of Touhou have brought many existing memes or invent new ones, full of creativity and hilarity, and flavored, whether they care to admit it or not, with the blackened heart of anonymous.

Sexy Beam - Rinnosuke, your drill is an instrument which always points toward the heavens! You must continue to thrust it upward and penetrate the heavens! But, we will not stop at the surface! We shall continue onward until we reach our climax: space and the moon!
Delicious Armpits - Nothing arouses these fuckers like a good exposed armpit of a 16-year-old girl.
Manpits - Black as a negro farm.
China - That's her name. Don't listen to those people who say otherwise.
Cirno - Also known as idiot, baka, genius, ⑨, or more accurately, unfunny.
Rule 9 - The disgraced twin brother of Rule 34: If it exists, there is Touhou fanart of it.
Suika Ibuki - A flat-chested girl that stalks Reimu. Forced meme.

Neither sexy nor beam.	Delicious	Why see armpits when you can see MANPITS?	Communist
Rule 9 in action	CIRNO CRUSH!

[edit] TAKE IT EASY

A meme involving giant, disfigured Touhou heads. Also known as Yukkuri, they were first discovered on 2chan when an Anon tried to make a Shift_JIS portrait of Reimu and Marisa and failed horribly, prompting the original fanart as a response (see below).

They are currently infesting every corner of the interbutts, and will continued to be reposted everywhere until you like it.