Toontown
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Toontown is the most badass MMORPG a roleplayer could ask for. You play as a furry who, alongside other furries, combats evil robots dressed in suits. If this doesn't sound awesome enough, you fight them by hurling pies and other slapstick-esque items at their faces. Need more be said? If that's not enough, Disney is responsible for this abomination of the internet. Its levels of faggotry even challenge those of Neopets.
Oh yeah, and you have to pay to play this shit. You might as well be given a monthly fee for cutting your balls off.
The Toontown tree first sprouted in 2003. Since then, it has grown catastrophically. With more and more updates to the game, more and more children are sucked into the dark void that is Disney's Toontown Online. It can be described best as a horrific monster, similar to The Blob. The more children succumb to this monstrosity, the more powerful it becomes. We can only hope that the internet will one day be rid of this horror for eternity. Unfortunately, we all know that expectation to be approximately as realistic as Dianetics.
- Not to be confused with the Toontown from Who Framed Roger Rabbit. This Toontown is much more fail.
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Gameplay
When the game is first begun, you will create your character just like in any other MMORPG. You choose which animal you want your character to be, his or her personal appearance, then his or her name. The most common way to do so is by using Toontown's name generator, the resulting name is never any less elaborate and ridiculously, unnecessarily long than something along the lines of "Queen Happy Dildoshitter The Thirteenth". Once the character has been created, you are walked through a short tutorial that explains how to play the game:
- Decide which gag (weapon) to use.
- Enemy's turn.
- Repeat.
- You win/lose.
- Move on to next enemy.
- Continue from step 1.
Once the tutorial is completed, you are free to roam Toontown. What you do from then on is not much different from the tutorial itself. However, you may embark upon lengthy and irritating quests which involve killing the same kind of enemy over and over again. This is just about as much fun as it sounds like. When you run low on gags, you must play minigames to earn more. Also, if a player dies, said player forced to wander around aimlessly in a safe zone until his/her laugh points (health) has replenished.
Gameplay Sample
The Toontown Within Toontown
- Toontown is a city populated by odd creatures called, "Toons".
- Toons are anthropomorphic animals that come in a variety of colors.
- Toontown consists of several districts, each of which governed by none other than a member of the cast of The Mickey Mouse Show.
- Toons use a system of currency much different than our own: jellybeans.
- Jellybeans are earned by playing minigames repeatedly.
- Jellybeans are necessary for purchasing gags.
- Gags are the weapons for use against enemies.
- The most common gag is the pie, which is thrown at an enemy's face.
- The enemies in Toontown consist of robotic entities known as, "Cogs".
- Cogs wander around aimlessly in the streets of Toontown. They make no effort whatsoever to harm a Toon until said Toon has walked in front of said Cog.
- Cogs attack by throwing objects at Toons. However, rather than pies, Cogs throw ties and other businessman-related objects.
- When a Cog has been defeated, said Cog will explode in a blazing inferno of cogs and gears. Not before entering an epileptic seizure, of course.
Players
You can only imagine the kind of people who actually spend their money to play this. Due to Toontown's playful and innocent nature, nobody older than thirteen can be found playing this (with the exception of aspies). As a result, it's a breeding ground for jailbait. However, you must be able to prove you know a player IRL to actually attempt direct communication, making sexual harassment but a distant dream. If you don't know a player IRL, you are forced to select a preset phrase from a list. One can only imagine what manner of badass phrases are allowed to be said in this horrid game. Had this not been the case, Toontown may have just become the newest Habbo Hotel.
Fandom
As you may have assumed, due to the game being entirely populated by furries, some players go so far as to make webcomics and other fan art/fiction about this godawful game. Some are poorly drawn serious comics with horrible storylines, like most webcomics (an example of which can be found here). However, some people are sick enough to make traditional furry works.
People Who Don't Play Toontown
- Heterosexuals
- Anyone whose balls have descended.
- Anyone who has a job.
- People who leave their homes.
Known Players
External Links
- Toontown's official website. /b/ware.
- Official Forum.
- Quite possibly the gayest fanfictions you could ever read.
- DeviantART fan account.
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Toontown is part of a series on MMORPGs. |
