Tim Couch

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Your tax dollars at work, Kentucky.
Your tax dollars at work, Kentucky.

Tim Couch (R-Hyden) is a Kentucky state representative from the 90th district and NFL quarterback failure who wants to destroy Anonymous.

Contents

[edit] Anonymous must be stopped

Elected politicians often keep letters from idiot constituents demanding an end to fluoridation or a ban on selling donuts on Sunday. Whenever the representative thinks it's time to look busy, he or she writes up a bullshit proposal based on one of these letters, which makes them look like they listen to their constituents.

Rep. Couch, having heard from his constituency that bulling is rabbit on the internets, decided to take action. His bill, HB775, would make posting anonymously on the internet illegal. All users would be required to give their full name and address to any website on which they wanted to post, and their names would be displayed on every post they made. Websites which allowed anonymous posting would be fined over 9000 dollars.

  1. An interactive service provider shall establish, maintain, and enforce a policy to require information content providers to register a legal name, address, and valid electronic mail address as a precondition of using the interactive service.
  2. An interactive service provider shall establish, maintain, and enforce a policy to require information content providers to be conspicuously identified with all information provided by, at a minimum, their registered legal name.
  3. An interactive service provider shall establish reasonable procedures to enable any person to request and obtain disclosure of the legal name, address, and valid electronic mail address of an information content provider who posts false or defamatory information about the person.

At the moment, it is unknown whether any social-networking sites have servers in Kentucky, though if this bill somehow passes that number will definitely drop to zero.

[edit] Why this is weird

People like Rep. Couch, who read a news story once about "cyber-bullying" and decided they knew something about the internets, are usually the same people who believe that evil magical hacromancers can steal your identity through a payphone when your computer is unplugged. One would expect these people to be ultra-protective of their privacy on the internet, lest hackers on steroids corrupt their lulz, but apparently Rep. Couch thinks he's immune because he doesn't go on those "cyber-bully" websites.

[edit] Corruption?

Observers speculate that Rep. Couch may be on the payroll of a certain organization with an anti-Anonymous agenda. However, while Scientologists have been known to invade, spy on, and steal from government offices, it is unknown whether they have ever bribed a politician— after all, that would be normal.

[edit] External links

Retrieved from "http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Tim_Couch"
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