Tila Tequila
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Tila Tequila (real name Thien Thanh Thi Nguyen) is a flat faced hooker who somehow made it to the mainstream media. She is a professional new media whore whose failure at everything doesn't seem to discourage her to continue whoring herself out to the masses, most notably with her new reality television show on MTV. The show, Re-Enforcing Negative Bisexual Stereotypes With Tila Tequila!!!!!!, is really nothing more than reincorporating sister station VH1's I Love New York, which is way, way, wayyyyyyyyy more lulzy, but still a complete failure and a step backwards for human evolution. Howevar, it should be mentioned that we are all guilty of downloading softcore lesbian porn of the alien before she got on TV. Oh, Tila. Tsk.
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[edit] Bio
In her youth, Tila was constantly in trouble with the law and went to prison a lot. In there, she got a body covered in tattoos, making her look like a complete skank, rather than a minor skank. After that, she got breast implants and became famous through a career in porn -- both of which she now tries to hide from everyone. Her natural breasts are A-cup, due to her being azn. After that, she changed her name from the unpronounceable Nguyen to the trashy Tequila.
Like Jeffree Star, Tila began her new media whore life on MySpace by starving herself to a stick figure body type and proclaiming her bisexuality (except to her parents, who didn't know until after she signed a deal with MTV to do a bisexual dating show). A prime example of parents who know absolutely jack shit about their daughter's life.
Using MySpace (and MySpace founder Tom Anderson's fetish for Asian women), she became a Top-Rated MySpace whore, sucking cock and licking carpet as one of the top whores of the year 2006. She then attempted to turn her internet celebrity career to a "real" celebrity career, failing miserably in each and every attempt at legit fame, including a failed attempt at becoming a pop star. Thank God, she sounded like Daffy Duck anyway. If you haven't heard her, you were not missing out. I make many promises of that.
[edit] Actual examples of comments from Tila's MySpace
WARNING: Authentic comments culled from Tila Tequila's profile and photographs follow. Encyclopædia Dramatica will not be held responsible for any self-inflicted bodily harm resulting from the reading of these comments.
- sean: what happened 2 ur thong on ur pics
- BnS Productions: what up wit ya!! DjSouthrock up in here !!!
- ~da bus has retired~: hey tila. just wanted to stop to say hey. i always like ur pictures. u look so hot in them. damn i really wish i can meet u. i wish i can talk to u2. want my .? well i want urs. lol wut is it? damn. ur cute. i like that. lol hit me baq.
- RUSSO♥: WANNA FUCK?
- "Greggles for 500 Please": fuck me please
- Ranma Saotome: I will most definitly buy that issue. You are by far the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I just wish I could come to LA to see your shows.
- Walk from ICE AGE ENT.: DAMM IT YOUR SO FUCKEN BOMB!!!!!!!!!!
- she dont ♥ meeh??: jus take evry ting off and join mee on mai ride and plus can i have pics
- Man I Getz Get Mi Grown Man Own: baby i can handle all of it an du u so hard dat u wood wanna come back.
- steven: i'll fuk da shit out of u sexii ass baby iiite baby 1...
- i swear im white and mexican: dayum baby girl... is those duble ds or what do u want me to lick them becuase i will
- loser: YOUR SO SEXY
[edit] Her show
[edit] Season 1
Tila Tequila had a dating show A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila, where after making contestants suffer grueling trials, she found many people who would be her perfect lovers, and then from them she picked out her perfect soul mate, the best true love for her. At the end she dumped fire-fighter, muscled, gangsta Dani for pussy face, cry baby Bobby.
She says: “Bobby had broken up with me a few days before all of this went down. I wasn’t expecting it at all because I thought I had finally found someone that I was compatible with, but I guess I was wrong. My hectic schedule was really hard on him and we both were getting frustrated, but at the same time . . . I just wanted to find someone who would understand what a crazy lifestyle I have so it’s too bad that things didn’t work out between us. With that said I just want to make it known that I still think Bobby is a great guy and I wish him the best.”
He says: “She never called me after the last show and no one would give me her number.”(Reason being is she is part of a inferior alien race that doesn't know how to use human technology, except Windows 98 Computers her entire (very slow)planet uses to run their planet.)
[edit] Season 2
In order to show that she really is bisexual, Tila picked a girl this time around. The "winner", smart and sophisticated Kristy PWNED Tila when she rejected her ass, claiming that she was confused about her sexuality. What Kristy really meant is "I ain't leavin' da dick for no alien-face fake-ass beaner".
MTV and Nguyen are already setting up season 3, watch out oblivious morons with no self-respect Tila fans! you may have a shot at love!
[edit] See Also
[edit] External links
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Tila Tequila is related to a series on AZNS. |
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Tila Tequila is part of a series on Whores. |
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Tila Tequila is part of a series on Homosexual Deviants |
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