The Sims
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
The Sims, also known as The Sims Livin' Large Expansion Pack, The Sims Livin' It Up Expansion Pack, The Sims House Party Expansion Pack, The Sims Hot Date Expansion Pack, The Sims Vacation Expansion Pack, The Sims Unleashed Expansion Pack, The Sims Superstar Expansion Pack, The Sims Makin' Magic Expansion Pack, The Sims Deluxe Edition, The Sims Double Deluxe, The Sims Triple Deluxe, The Sims Mega Deluxe, The Sims Full House, The Sims Online, The Sims Bustin' Out, The Sims 2, The Sims 2 University Expansion Pack, The Sims 2 Nightlife Expansion Pack, The Sims 2 Open for Business Expansion Pack, The Sims 2 Pets Expansion Pack, The Sims 2 Seasons Expansion Pack, The Sims 2 Bon Vogage Expansion Pack, The Sims 2 Free Time Expansion Pack, The Sims 2 Apartment Life Expansion Pack, The Sims 2 Family Fun Stuff, The Sims 2 Glamour Life Stuff, The Sims 2 Happy Holiday Stuff, The Sims 2 Celebration!oneoneone Stuff, The Sims 2 H&M Fashion Stuff, The Sims 2 Teen Style Stuff, The Sims 2 Kitchen & Bath Interior Design Stuff, The Sims 2 IKEA Home Stuff, The Sims 2 Special DVD Edition, The Sims 2 Holiday Edition, The Sims 2 Deluxe Edition, The Sims 2 Double Deluxe, The Sims 2 Castaway, The Sims 2 Apartment Pets, The Sims Life Stories, The Sims Pet Stories, The Sims 2 Mac Edition, The Sims 2 S&M Expansion, The Sims 2 Barrel Roll Edition, The Sims 2 Virginia Tech Massacre Edition, The Sims 2 Nigger World Expansion, The Sims 2 Nothing Is New In This Expansion But You Will Still Buy It Expansion, The Sims 2 Your Mom Is A Whore Expansion and, of course, The Sims 2Girls1Cup, The Sims Goatse Edition, The Sims Tubgirl Edition, The Sims 3, The Sims 3 World Adventures, and for hardcore fans, The Sims Power 5 Edition is an award winning video game developed by Electronic Arts. There are currently over 9,000 expansion packs, and a new expansion pack is released every week, which means nonstop gaming fun.
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Gameplay
Imagine, if you will:
You wake up hungover on the floor of your living room on Sunday morning. You look for your phone and your wallet but it seems you lost them last night. You feel a distinct itch at your crotch: looks like that bitch last night gave you the crabs. You hear a knock at your door: it's the police. Turns out she was only 14 and her parents are pressing rape charges. Oh, and by the way, she's pregnant too. You're pretty much fucked aren't you. Then SUDDENLY JOSEF FRITZL AND FUCKING HITLER AND SOME SHIT FUCKING RAPE YOU IN THE FUCKING ASS ON THE FUCKING FLOOR MOTHERFUCKER OH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
Imagine that, and you are experiencing the comedy and non-stop fun of "The Sims". The mechanics of the game are simple enough to appeal to old men and even the most whorish of 16 year old girls when they can tear themselves away from MySpace. The best description of The Sims is a cross between Shit Boring and Real Life minus the Real part. The main appeal of the game is having to work 8-10 hours a day at a repetitive, dead-end IRL-style job in order to feed your needy, IRL-style family members in a draining cycle whose only incentive is the hope of saving up enough money to take an IRL-style vacation or sending your IRL-style spawn to an IRL-style college. An added appeal is the inability of your sims to perform basic tasks, such as eating and toilet-time, without your assistance. For example, if you tell your sim to get in the kitchen and turn your head away for 5 seconds, you will find your sim pwning herself with fire.
How to Play
- Click
- Watch
- ?????
- Profit!
One of the many ways to torture sims. The only real way to play the game.
The Sims Communities
Sims communities are The Sims's contribution to the internets. Ultraforums, such as The Sims Zone, allow Sims gamers to download extra IRL-style features for their Sims game, share IRL-style Sims experiences with fellow Sims gamers, and other IRL-style aspects which can be found outside of a Sims gamer's home, IRL.
The Sims 2 official site is obviously the largest of the Sims' communities, probably because it is official. At this particular site, one can find such exciting things as the BBS and the exchange. Once a place of epic trolling by people bored with the sims, the BBS is now home to 13-year-old boys, 16-year-old girls, and pedophiles pretending to be 16-year-old girls. If one does not like Twilight or the Jonas Brothers you will feel very out of place. It should be avoided at all costs. The exchange is home to pure crap made by small children who think they are now intranet celebrities because they know how to take a Maxis mesh, bucket-fill it in MS Paint, slap on face #1 in Bodyshop. Ta-da! The exchange is also home to stories by 9-year-olds with horrific graphics cards and a broken caps lock key.
There are also fan communities like Snooty sims, but who gives a fuck about that.
Male Restroom Etiquette
As told through The Sims.
Pr0n
intProp censorGridSize 0 in The Sims 2 will remove the blur over the characters genitals. There is also a nude patch, and thousands of custom skins which feature naked sims. All of these result in barbie-doll like pubic areas.
In case you are retarded and don't understand how the game works, characters can have children. This means that The Sims 2 (especially combined with a screencap) can be used to acquire lolicon. However, there are ways to avoid having to seeing naked children, even while having your sims be nude. The best way is to not have children, so why not have a family of hot lesbians? This is fun and arousing for all people who enjoy fapping over a collection of pixels.
Fags like Jack Thompson believe that The Sims will turn people into "flesh eating zombie rapists."
All prons are for the following people
- Hentai freaks
- Fall Out Boy fans
- Mpreg fetishists
The OMGWTFBBQ
Last Thursday, Pescado, the owner of Paysites Must Be Destroyed submitted a barbeque enabling Sims to turn babies into delicious steak onto major custom content site Mod The Sims 2. Not only did the admins approve that download (presumably doing it for the lulz), but they added a warning that any user to post a whiny comment would be b&. Of course, concerned mothers wouldn't have any of that, flocked to the thread and expressed not only their butthurt over pixel babies being eaten, but also their urge to kill the admin's actual offspring.
| — A concerned mother |
| — Another concerned mother |
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Being banned from MTS2 wasn't enough for those butthurt members, and they had to create a site to "save the Sims babies", complete with open letter to MTS2 hoping to get the download taken down, text shittily translated from German, virtual pinboard full of cutesy pictures of real babies, baby sounds in the background and Geocities-like webdesign. It can be found here for those who have the urge to goatse their pinboard.
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Moar OMGWTFBBQ drama documented on Sim_wank.
External Links
- Free Sims 2 custom content that you would otherwise have to pay for
- Hacks that make the buggy game into something playable
- Shit, this game has it's own Wikipedia template
- Save the Sims babies
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