The Promised Land

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

This page contains spoilers — Important plot secrets and/or conclusions may be revealed. For example,
HOLY SHIT there is no inner circle!!!1

is anything sacred?

THE PROMISED LAND [1]

thedramatube, mascot of the Promised Land

THE PROMISED LAND or Exodus 1:1 is the biblical reference to how stupid YouTube users truly are. In the year 2007, several YouTubeies were upset with their favorite site, so they began a mass exodus to LiveVideo to fix their drama. Their Exodus didn't change the fact that they were addicted to YouTube; nevertheless, they wrongly assumed they had found a vlog-Eden clip utopia via a "family filter." The result of their actions was the Judas YouTube blacklist during the Renetto Era. [2] Unfortunately, most Live Video users live in a constant state of paranoia whether they realize it or not. For example, stereotypical vloggers of the Promised Land believe ED is a person that wants to trace your IP.

As explained by Argent009

typical promised land whoring idle threat

ED Official Spokesperson Hoveround explains how ED censorship is nothing more than a cynical propaganda attempt.

violetkitty411's War Medal

In the beginning there was YouTube, and the community looked upon it and declared it was pretty freakin' cool. And then the adversary arrived and said "Woe to you, o YouTubers, for we send our spam with hatred. Let him who hath understanding reckon the IP Address of the hater for it is a complicated mess, its IP address is 666.666.666.666." And the community saw that it was really icky!

And then the community heard a whisper from out of the darkness and they turned an ear to it and lo, it was LiveVideo! And the community said "Hey, what's this thing?" and they spent forty hours looking at the new thing and they said "Wow, this has a lot of the stuff we've been begging YouTube for!" and the community thought it was a good thing and they did rejoice.

"But Hold!" cried some, "this may be too good to be true and besides, not everyone is going to migrate to this new land of milk and microchips," and the community knew it was true and they said unto one another "Let us wait and see". And they knew it was probably the best thing to do.

So many of the community did journey across the desert to the new land, but just to have a look, not to move in for good. They proclaimed it "a really decent site" and cried out to the others "Come! See the new Jerusalem!" and the community still said "Wait! It may have problems" and lo, the community was cautious.

And the haters did try to send their beasts to the new land, but not in great numbers and the community felt somewhat safe. But many continued to remain cautious, knowing that when something looks too good to be true it usually is. But the community remains hopeful that this new land will show YouTubia what they must do to rebuild itself.

And the YouTubers did send their bReasts unto the new land.

“	I believe that if I post videos onto Live Video, people will watch Live Video. If I don't. They wont.	„
—Crossmack (SRSLY)

"My administration will be steadfast in support the Promised Land against e-terrorism and trolling, and in seeking the peace for which all LiveVideoians pray", Moshe Dayan kyhell

Did You Realize

Renetto makes his case against LiveVideo by establishing the LiveVideo-Target/YouTube-Walmart economic connection. Renneto notoriously created Renetto's Judas BlackList, which included many famous tobbers like boh3m3, DiGiTiLsOuL and Geriatric1927. He famously got owned by Geriatric1927, however, Renetto didn't notice as he was too busy watching out for the Zionists.

“	Renetto is turning into a fucking windbag	„
—Boh3m3 on Stickam

LiveVideo Exposed

LiveVideo uses many underhanded techniques to garner interest in a largely uninteresting website that has failed to gain any ground on YouTube since its initial launch. The site owners pay fake vloggers to post every day, all of whom are attractive women between the ages of 18 and 24. LiveVideo targets the horny young male audience by using these fake vloggers on other websites the company owns and posting them as featured users, in a weak attempt at viral marketing.

Fake vloggers paid by LiveVideo

Cookies
NattyIcee007
Tree
RachelMattie
IowaGirl
Christina
avelina
hunter
NotKat
green_eye_goddess
Faye006
lanitrock
StevieRyan

LiveVideo also created hundreds of fake accounts, many named after old memes, and populated them with viral videos stolen from YouTube to promote other sites on their network, to redirect traffic to LiveVideo, and to use as front-page features. Almost all of the fake accounts were created in late October, generally October 25th, 2006, which was before the launch of the site in mid-November, so they're easy to identify. If you're still not sure whether an account is fake, see if it's listed on the "most viewed channel" page, which is almost exclusively populated by fakes. Videos from these accounts are featured far more than any real user accounts, because real users generally do not upload viral videos to the website.

Promised Gallery

oh hai there live video

THE PROMISE OF LIVE VIDEO

Crossmack truly believes people will flock to LiveVideo for him rather than Bikini News

Fake accounts

trigirl
brideofvoldemort
dudewheresmycar
thisissparta
Virulent
letthemeatquiche
girloflinz

Official Lanuch in 2008

Sometime Last Thursday LiveVideo officially launched the site. Most notably they made a stickam/justin.tv clone added to it that is sure to be a success. Plz be trolling the fuck out of it.