Thatkidparker

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

Jump to: navigation, search

Parker Nose Where It's At!

Parker on Second Life with his buddy "Ace" (LAWL! [1] [2])

That Kid Parker (SACHIN 'Parker' KAMBLE, 31 years old) is a vlogger notable for his unique sense of sockpuppetry [3]. Basically, Parker critiques YouTube using Sesame Street puppets to keep people from realizing he has no sense of humor. More recently, EDiot research team was stunned to find that Parker is a greasy sepia bastard that trolls Michael Jackson online forums (currently banned for some unknown reason). Parker vlogs a extremely TL;DW show called "Puppets on Crack Theatre" (POCT), and it's boring as fuck because he literally lies about everything.

When he isn't busy getting fist fucked by his girlfriend on Second Life or surfing MJ forums for loli posing as a 16 year old boy, Parker can be found preparing to run for Congress with the Emo party. In his spare time Parker enjoys creating fake accounts on Youtube and subscribing them to himself.

In review, Parker is extremely obsessed with Michael Jackon IRL [4]

PRO-TIP: if this article sounds "too ridiculous to be true", check out Michael Jackson News Online forums and look up jake_byrd (parker's handle) [5]. Then if you're feeling lucky check Parker McTeague on Second Life for Mega Lulz.

UBER PRO-TIP: So, you don't believe that Parker married to a man on Second Life, then explain this [6] Well Zyanya, War Truly is "ART" !

Currently on the run

pedobear approves of Thatkidparker

1 Quotes
2 Formerly Top Secret YouTube History
3 Parker's MJ online forum plea
4 Other hilarious Parker MJ forum posts
5 Parker's Sockpuppetry
6 Trivia
7 Other Parker Quotes
8 Gallery of Parkers cum stained puppets and PHAIL
9 Required Viewing on The Parker and Fiddlinbenz (aka Craig Sumsky) Debacle
10 Resources
11 Related Articles

Quotes

wut? oh rly

the following was not photoshopped in any form other than for sake of sepia

“	and he expects the coming of pigslop next week, like Christians expect the second coming of Christ..	„
—Alcky

“	this is a fucking joke right ? i think i am having an acid flashback, and thatkidparker is Captain EO	„
—Weatherman

“	I AM NOT GAY	„
—Parker

“	Nobody reads ED	„
—That MJ fanboi Parker

</center>

Formerly Top Secret YouTube History

in case you forgot who you are dealing with; MJ related image found on Parkers' photobucket account

Mohammed Grover's requests to leave the show at short notice were met with severe consequences

WUT?

Parker's MJ online forum plea

Michael Jackson News Online!?! WUT!?

"out of all the forums in the world..", BURK's response Parker's obsession with MJ News Online Forums

i know this is gonna be a sad post. im sorry mike. 
i know u know about MJNO. you faxed us at some party. 
u know about us. if ur reading this. please just listen.
im not a psycho fan. i dont want to marry you. i just 
want to let you know that the world needs you right now. 
you have an amazing gift. you can change the world 
with ur presence, music. you changed my life. i was a 
hater before i listened to you, you made me love mike. 
the world needs you. i know you want to take a break with 
your kids , etc. i respect that. but the world still needs you.
i hate being selfish, but we do. ur the only person 
that can change it. no president,  primie minisiter, 
religious figure  can do the things you do. 
please help us. 
im on my knees mike. i love you. 
and everybody on this board can make fun of me 
after i click submit post, i dont care anymore, 
but mike, please we love you and need you

Parker's Sockpuppetry

A puppet master of faggotry

Parker enjoys using puppets.
To see a list of his sock accounts on Youtube CLICK TO COLLAPSE LIST --CLICK HERE-- 0

Parker will continue to lurk on YouTube with these fake accounts:

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=mac003qnz

Parker loves Sanjaya

Even the count has cannot keep up with the number of sockpuppets in parkers sockfarm.

Parker: Poser

Trivia

supports puppet buttsecks

Yeah, Parker is gay.

the puppets open up about their feelings for parker

Did you know that Parker:

Is EXTREMELY obsessed with Michael Jackson
Is a Pigslop fanboi.
Is an American Idol fanboi.
Would <3 Sanjaya buttsecks!!!!!!!!1
Is an irl Pedo - Parker was 27 years old when he hooked up with 17 year old Ziyanya
Parker is such a big fan of Michael Jackson, that he will defend Jackson's pedophilia (for reasons now obvious).
"MJNO" is code for MICHAEL JACKSON NEWS ONLINE. better known as Parkers' favorite site (ever)
Confirmed: has a female character on Second Life (see handle Parker McTeague)
According to his second life profile his e-Interests include: wall-sitting, prim-cursing, inventory cleaning, naked skydiving.
According to Second Life profile, "I make modernist prefab houses under the BLIP name. it's usually what keeps me busy these days..."
Is rumored to be found on "Deco" area of Second Life
Lives in Austin, Texas, and idly supports Bush.
Remains distraught over ED's coverage of the Skuee cover-up furfandom scandal of 2007.
Claims he bought his puppet collection on eBay.
Suffers from Kings of Queens syndrome
Has unwarranted self-importance (see also unrealistic expectations)
Is a big fan of thin dick since he himself has a thin dick.
Was mindfucked by Tom Serson(LOL!!) into believing he had spies all around him making him turn on all his e-friends.
Claims to be down with EDiots(yeah right, that's why this page keeps getting longer and longer)
Is close friends with furries [7] aka Fiddlinbenz
Will stay in the closet for as long as he possibly can despite everyone else knowing. Never even had sex with Ziyanya..wtf
Claimed that he was going to Lulzcon '07.
Closed his YouTube account in early October 2007.
Currently trying to suck Tom Serson's cock on Skype.

Other Parker Quotes

"omg do you really think im BI? It's just a feeling... I have wicked Gaydar.."

"...I can't wait til Pigslop returns"

When asked 'What would you love to do with MJ right now?'

"give him the biggest hetero to hetero male hug and whisper in his ear everything is going to be ok"

"Ayyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"

Gallery of Parkers cum stained puppets and PHAIL

Why are they called puppets on crack? Moar liek Buttcrack, amirite?	Cheers! You're on ED!	Elmo, notice the shit stains.	Grover wears a towel on his head since parker uses him as a buttplug.
Parkers ernie doll, not yet appeared on the POCTDE show.	Parkers' second life avatar (not joke, this shit is real)	OK ! explains why he didn't agree with Skuee article	found on Parker's Second Life, turns out not only is he a cock but he sells them as well