Tedius Zanarukando

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

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Tedius Zanarukando is a 29 year old gay nigger who loves Final Fantasy. He has a long history of trolling message boards with his sexist beliefs. He has been banhammered at least 100 times. It is quite obvious he knows exactly what he's doing and that he treats all people fairly. Why, most people look up to him and say "I want to be that bastard".

The Tedius Zanarukando Doctrine

Tedius Zanarukando one day decided to write up all of his retarded beliefs. The tenets of the Tedius Zanarukando doctrine are:

1. Women should not be fashioned after men. Women should look feminine, not masculine. Women are not inherently like men. In order for romantic love to be a pleasant experience for men, female fashion must comply with male wishes, or otherwise it is hostile behavior. Female fashion that complies with male wishes is called girly girl fashion, and the opposite is called tomboy fashion. Girly girl fashion (such as long hair and skirts) is intrinsically modest and tomboy fashion (such as short hair and trousers) is intrinsically Jezebel. This tenet may sound sexist according to dominant culture, but it is a fact and for your own good. I detest women who look like men, and I do not accept that I am a sexist. You must not view this tenet, adherence to it, or celebration of female beauty as sexist. This rule is a basic element of human civilization. Tomboy fashion may be a tenet of feminist dogma, but it is hostile behavior and merits very disasterous moral consequences. Women should not make themselves unattractive to men or let others make them unattractive, nor should any authority encourage them to do so. Doing so flies against common sense and the normal, natural human desire to please, and it is not the female way. Being like SNK character King is hostile behavior. Women must not rely on personality alone to attract or charm men. Short hair is not the female way. Long hair is the only way to go for women. Women should wear at least bra-strap length hair. Very long hair is the most recommended and must not be frowned upon. Women should not cut off or have someone cut off their long hair, for that is not the female way. They should let their hair decide how long it will grow. No one should encourage any woman to cut or wear their hair short. Contrary to a myth, long hair is easier and more rewarding to take care of than short hair, and it is healthier too. If a source says "avoid long hair" or "do not wear your hair long" or "lose the long hair" or anything that connotes advocacy of short hair, then do not listen to them for they are liars. Long hair has no age limit, thus long hair is practical for any age whatsoever. Women should not wear trousers; that is not the female way. No authority figure should require women or girls to violate this tenet. You must not expel, punish, or terminate a female client or employee for wearing their hair long or for wearing skirts. Such act is called persecution of femininity. Hence, no authority figure should frown upon femininity. Brunettes are more attractive than blondes. Black hair is more beautiful than other hair colors. African-American, Hispanic, Arab, and Asian women look best with black hair. Authority figures, including parents, school faculty, bosses, church leaders, and heads of state, must respect femininity; thus they must not force any female follower to violate this tenet. Parents should raise girly girls, not tomboys. If the government forces violation of this tenet, the human race will go the way of the dodo. FACT

There are 44 more of these, people. Obviously, these must be adhered to as rules of society and no man or woman must go against his will, or we shall all fear the terror known as Tedius Zanarukando!

Quotes

Tedius cannot stand criticism, and will BAWWWWWW when his beliefs are shot down. Not only that, but he fears being dominated by women, and knows where they belong. A true hero.

Related Pages

• Retard
• Asperger's Syndrome
• Attention Whore
• Fanboy
• Fag

External Links

• Tedius Zanarukando's Message Board
• Wikipedia Page *talk page contains major lulz

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