DevianTART

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Summary of dA, wank wank wank wank
The ORIGINAL deviantART logo, before they changed it.
The ORIGINAL deviantART logo, before they changed it.
DevianTART front page: At any given moment you will come across an Asian, camwhore, furry art, or something "abstract".
DevianTART front page: At any given moment you will come across an Asian, camwhore, furry art, or something "abstract".
Version 6's sleek new user interface.
Version 6's sleek new user interface.
Tartlets secret technique exposed!
Tartlets secret technique exposed!
This is your guide popularity?
This is your guide popularity?
Deviant Mods, like FOX News are Fair and Balanced.
Deviant Mods, like FOX News are Fair and Balanced.
A DA admin. trying too hard to be funny.
A DA admin. trying too hard to be funny.
This is DevianTART's official community response to ED made by Pillow-lover7
This is DevianTART's official community response to ED made by Pillow-lover7
A small few tartlets stand for the forces of great justice, lulz and Mudkips. Made by AnyaNeon
A small few tartlets stand for the forces of great justice, lulz and Mudkips. Made by AnyaNeon
OMG
OMG
http://hero-taich.deviantart.com/art/Jenny-94288536 I lol'ed when reading through the comments on this.
http://hero-taich.deviantart.com/art/Jenny-94288536 I lol'ed when reading through the comments on this.

DevianTART (moar like dicksuckers anonymous, amirite?) is at first look an inspiring treasure-trove of wishful thinking fanart and pseudo-professional "art pieces"; however, in reality it is a gigantic society degenerating culture-fuck. As MTV is to destroying music and turning everyone into wiggers and prostatots, devianTART is to destroying the art world, and turning us all into furry drama whores and emo attention whores. If the art community as a whole had cancer, devianTART is the biggest malignant tumor of them all, yes rivaling even facial tumor guy of the JooTube fame. DevianTART attracts mainly emotionally unstable 16 year old girls who all have dreams of one day moving to japan, and becoming famous manga artists. Or, failing that, becoming Cosplay attention whores earning a living on the Harajuku giving hand jobs for food in the back alleys behind the clothing stores.

FACT: Note to all DAs: the Japs won't like you over there any more than we do. In fact, they tend to barbecue bimbos like you for kicks between August 6th and August 9th each year.

The site was launched in 2000 on what they call their "Yellow Day" (ie birthday) and is undergoing a war on who originally founded it. There are three main creators but the most well-known one is "Jark", a total pussy of an attention whore whose immature behavior is imprinted on the TARTlet community. He lives in Japan - working as a Geisha - and thinks he is a yellow alien [1].

Users can submit works of art and browse through at least 100 art submissions but to join the site you must accept specific terms (such as the faulty TOS). DA also doubles as a political party called "Dumb Assholes" and requires you to pledge your loyalty to the site in a Stalinesque ceremony. If you have ever visited any chan board EVAR, you are not allowed to be a member of devianTART, because the mods and admins have declared an e-jihad against anonymous.

One must also take note that a core administrator is denoted by the dollar $ymbol. That's something the retards at devianTART did right for once...

 
 
So, here we all are, on devianTART, submitting work, commenting, making friends, browsing art, and so on. But where are we? Personally, I feel we are virtual pioneers at the forefront of [an] amazing [cash cow].
 

 

—$Lolly, on the future of devianTART


With devianTART, the process of one actually maturing into a better artist is stagnated, and in most cases is actually reversed. This is caused by the fact that ANY such honest constructive criticism is branded as "trolling". You wont find proper color themes, Lighting techniques, and knowledge of basic anatomy here... no sir. Being an artist in the minds of devianTART users, is drawing the same traced 3/4 angle views of their favorite animu characters with little variation. These aspiring "artists" will continually turn out sexualized anthropomorphic artwork and miscellaneous Animu crap, and be showered with praise, ass-pats, hugs, and kawaii emoticons by equally emotionally damaged dogfuckers. Just like any dark corner of the internet such as pro-ana sites, devianTART nurtures this unhealthy and downright wrong behavior.

This constant ego inflation makes devianTART one of the biggest sources of egotistical, self centered, whiny little cunts the internets have ever seen. The drama escalates when these people graduate from high school and enroll in art college, hoping for a career in Graphic art. When they submit their fanart to their teachers, they get the shock of their lives when they are finally told to learn some basic drawing techniques before handing in another under-drawn over-rendered piece of crap. Of course they run crying back to their LiveJournals & the "understanding" devianTART hugbox community until they become extreme examples like Snapesnogger, GoddessMillenia, and the batshit insane Zeriara.

PROTIP: Adding Lens flare to your art will give you A+ results.

FACT: Surprisingly it isn't well known that DevianTART hates Jews. The reason why Israel has been banned off the site for about a year already is because Gene Simmons' real name is Chaim Witz.


Contents

Submissions

Artisan Crafts

Before the invention of the Internets, people were rumored to make art such as Unicorn Orgy, IRL. They used boulders, ripped-up fursuits, and semen. All the craftsmen who aren't dead now are pot-smoking hippies who can't use computers, rendering this section totally fucking useless.ppl who use this section a fag tartlets.

Traditional Art

By far the largest section of DA, this is where users place their painstakingly-rendered anime/furry/inflation art drawings with bad graphite shading. Some others will attempt to exploit the versatility of MS Paint, while trying to project a political message of some sort. (If you click on the link, try not to shit yourself laughing. That would be rude.)


Digital Art

If, for some reason, you are unable to operate a pencil, this section is for you! Just fire up Photoshop, collage some random shit you found on Google Images, and voilà! You're only HALF as lame as the Church of the Subgenius!

A screenshot of a screenshot of a screenshot.
A screenshot of a screenshot of a screenshot.


Photography

The skill of an average devianTART photographer...
The skill of an average devianTART photographer...
90% of all devianTART camwhores.
90% of all devianTART camwhores.
Thanks to the advent of ubiquitous digital image capturing, every 16 year old girl and their little brother thinks they're Ansel Fucking Adams (Who, incidentally, wasn't all that great a photographer to begin with). These people can't draw. To facilitate this movement DA created a photo section. Naturally, it is mostly populated by camwhores who have Internet diseases. Remember, Lens flare gives you 10 times more popularity. Any and all other photographs are of uninspired things (try photographing a tree, it's sooooo deep, man) and naturally receive about 100 favorites within a few seconds of their posting. Also any hdr is automatically made a daily deviation and receives over 9000 faves no matter how shitty (BECAUSE IT IS SO SURREAL LOL).

Poetry

The emo writings featured on DA are usually about blood, razorblades, and the relationship between the two. Written largely by 16 year old girls, they often feature misspellings, some of which are phonetically impossible. Once a user submits something it automatically turns into "artistic expression". This has caused many to just submit their LJ entries as poetry, which additionally guards against being branded as a drama whore because, you know, "I'M JUST EXPRESSING MYSELF, MAN. WHAT, DID YOU THINK JIM MORRISON WAS A DRAMA WHORE, TOO, YOU CALLOUS CRETIN?"

Prose

Prose is like poetry, only you're supposed to have spent more time on it NOBODY on DevianTART knows what prose means. Rather than focusing on the surrealist interpretations of cutting, prose mentions every detail of your 30 minute cut-a-thon, and later goes into how nobody from school understands your scars, and how your gf/bf/ff left you because you're a pathetic whiny attention whore. Any and all good criticism given of prose on devinaTART WILL - without exception - be written off by the whiny TARD as you being abusive, since 99% of all prose on DA apparent to have been written by the same syphalic leaper. The truly great prose of devianTART art is overlooked because it is too long and/or too complex for the average 16-year-old.


Desktop capture

Need to imitate talent? Just hit printscreen.
Need to imitate talent? Just hit printscreen.

Most DA users are just not up to speed. Unable to produce even the most crude stick-figure depiction of "tasteful" furry or Invader Zim fanart, they still need not feel left out. Simply mashing one's overly large, greasy thumb onto the printscreen key will capture your amazing desktop! Now you can receive praise and glory based on your interesting desktop background and that you are a cool cat with all the latest icons. Firefox is mandatory; don't even bother otherwise. Also, lacking a World of Warcraft icon loses you serious points.

In order to boost your hxc points, having your icons in no particular order helps you score, too. Remember, organization is for n00bs!

Flash

Why DA decided to host Flash-based animations is anyone's guess. The only users who submit Flash works on DA are failures (and divas) who couldn't get on AlbinoBlackSheep or even Newgrounds. The majority of these creations usually involve ninja or absolute shit.

Fractal Art

If there's any art that does not require actual talent, it's Fractals. To put it simply: Push button, receive blobs of colors.

Types of TARTlets (Deviants)

TARTlets, or 'Deviants', have the so-called ability to choose to be what kind of Deviant they want to be by choosing from the drop-down. Ranked least offensive to most.

The Artist (Artifex faber)

Currently an endangered species due to the constant banhammering of artists who display none of the above characteristics and simply want somewhere to share their "art" while they struggle to feed and clothe themselves and their 17 year-old, 8 month pregnant girlfriend. Many have fled DevianTART to other, more quality oriented art sites like Storm Artists. However, it is still believed this form of Internet artist will die out by next year.

The Addict (Sucis chumpicus)

TARTlets who spend all day on devianTART complaining about how much everything on devianTART sucks. See Urd-chan | Justflyakite

The Favewhore (Amorae ubiquitus)

A Deviant who goes around adding every single submission of one's gallery into their favorites gallery, and everything that goes into their message inboxes. These usually have little or no deviations, or fucking huge galleries full of crap made in MSPaint or stolen art. Common comments by these douchebags are "OMG LIEK KAWAIII NEKO DESUDESUDUES!!111" See DJ-Leorina | Wilbury | reversed_pocky

The average I.Q. of DevianTARTlet favewhores.
The average I.Q. of DevianTARTlet favewhores.

The Wallpaperist (Muro faber)

Deviants who believe that running a random script through a 3D-gen program and adding text makes them "interesting". Primarily 13 year old boys, who just don't know what the fuck, or 20 year old boys who still think it makes them "interesting".

The 20+ Retard (Sophmorus obsoletus)

boh3m3 devianTART
boh3m3 devianTART

A deviant who claims to be older than 20 years old and draws and types like they're 3 years old. See DBoyWheeler | DivineAngel

The average tart failing at photoshopping themselves.
The average tart failing at photoshopping themselves.

The Flash Maker (Fulgore faber)

13-year-old boys who make boring flashes consisting of five frames per ten seconds running over and over again and call them random. Otherwise they make countless dating games featuring stick figures or things traced from Dragonball Z so that they can fap to them. They usually belong on YTMND or Newgrounds but some move to DeviantArt for attention-whoring. See: Sonicrocksmysocks

The "Draw Something Else Already" Fetishist

People who make and submit absolutely nothing but pictures that portray their main fetish. They're much worse than usual if they consistently rub said fetish into other people's faces. See: Mxbot

dAmnwhores (Audarae filia)

13-16 year old girls who frequent devianTART's chatrooms. Unlike the forums, the CHAT is teh most denjerus place in devianTART. dAmn (devianTART messaging network) is inhabited by camwhores, pedophiles, azns, white man, crackwhores, stoners, filipinos and George W. Bush. See: Unch

The Camwhore (Vidarae filia)

16 year old girls who've evacuated from MySpace shutdowns and timeouts in favor of the devianTART shutdowns and timeouts, initially flooding the front pages with crappy webcam shots of their ass. Later they post poorly veiled shots of their vagina under the pretense of 'artistic nudity.' Naturally they get almost as many Daily Deviations as the Pornographer. See: Amalea | Emmalina | KawaiiNekoGirl | Klarawagner | Loveinavoid

The Pornographer (Penis puer)

Photographers who are convinced that a few nudies in their gallery is AWESOME, HOLY SHIT, DID YOU SEE THOSE TITS!? Will get a Daily Deviation every week and vigorously defend their right to post their boobs, their sister's boobs, their dog's boobs, your mom's boobs, Janet Jackson's uni boob, or whoever's boobs until kingdom come. Emo boys also fit into this group because they appear to believe uploading a picture of their ugly face and greasy hair and putting it in sepia while using the dodge tool qualifies as "hot" or "artistic", putting their photos in the nudity section, much to the pleasure of Ville Valo fangirls. Swedish dickheads like Yoshaki and Limpurtikels seems to enjoy watching 16 year old girls getting tied up. See: HitmanN | Teruchan

See? Even deviant art loves goatse
See? Even deviant art loves goatse
High Class Art
High Class Art

The Drive-By Propagandist (Shitbaticus insanicus)

These cunning devianTARTlets spew their unwelcome propaganda on their galleries and journals, then silence anyone who dares question their backwards logic. See: Danilee3240 | Carlos Latuff | Realm-Of-The-Shadows | GoddessMillenia | Gravnar

[[wah wah, I don't want to be a part of this site anymore! Jaakobou]
[[wah wah, I don't want to be a part of this site anymore! Jaakobou]
i know muzix! [Viillqraz] has also been known to spread Ann Coulter propaganda on forums.
i know muzix! [Viillqraz] has also been known to spread Ann Coulter propaganda on forums.

The Sonic Recolourist (Velocitas colorare)

These so-called 'artists' take screenshots from Sonic the Hedgehog games and shit all over them so that they form pink Sonics, blue Tailses and lime green Shadows (Also; Please note the cross-over effects of the emo movement evidenced by Mario's fabled brother "Luigi" shifting from his classic green composure to the less Nintendoesque "Pink vs. Black" so favored by said fucktards - user LironDe /Removed/). They will typically get extremely angry if anyone suggests that their artwork is anything less than incredibly original and brilliant. It is a known fact that they will become butthurt if anyone "steals" their fan-character, because they refuse to accept the fact that coloring Sonic green is an idea that could have ever occurred to anyone else. See: Chaos-the-fox | Chasethehedgehog | Daniellehedgehog | DannyRose | DBoyWheeler | Devonti | Djfox | EmeraldGuardian1 | Marcus the hedgehog | Princessangel83 | rememberance-the-fox | Spaction3 | Thesonickid | MinTails

The Fandom Retard (Maria suezae)

Branca, self-proclaimed wife of Stuart Tusspot, from Gorillaz.
Branca, self-proclaimed wife of Stuart Tusspot, from Gorillaz.

These people only go around drawing animu, making flashy animu "art" of characters fucking their mother's sister's brother, creating sophisticated, stylistic portraits of males from Shojo such as Fruits Basket and joining crappy clubs but insist they're not furries or retarded. For most, this is a temporary mental state until the age of 16 when they transform into MySpace whores, otherwise they turn into furries or pedophiles. They can usually be found plagiarizing, defending and kissing the ass of people who fit in The Popular Ass category, or, rarely, like Zeriara, becoming jealous of them and drawing kill art of their characters. See: Abigaille |Astrima | Branca | Dolphy |Numberofthebeatz | Cheese1997 | Firedarkdragon | Kineticlightning | Kitty006 | Kirbyslover | Lord Zim | M. Chaos | MeleeKirby | Memories-long-gone | Meowbark | Mikemedia | RougeFury | Sandygurl | Sephirothslave | ShaloneSK | Snapesnogger | Sonicrocksmysocks | Superdemon-Inuyasha | Tori Sue Heck | Waluigis-girl | Widdywoodpecker | Zeriara | SarahChihuahua | Raveneagel

The Fatass (Fattius asinus)

Or the 'Fat/Inflation Artist'. These so called 'Fat-Admirers basically draw pictures of fat or inflated things, such as an original character, or an already existing character, which is usually the case. These are mostly done in MSPaint with the CURVE TOOL, or with a pencil. They are known to be incredibly defensive of their "art", and have been known to call their many friends in for support if someone happens to leave as much as a negative comment. Many innocent people have unfortunately had their eyes raped by their awful artwork, so they must be stopped. These fuckheads really need to draw something else for a change. See: Angel Meiru | Dragomike | Fatferaligatr | Hhhippo | MeleeKirby | Mikemedia | Mxbot | rememberance-the-fox | Two-Ton-Neko | ZS3

The Furry (Yifficus totalis)

AKA 'Anthro Artist', these usually cause the most drama by whining about how much everyone hates their fursonas and getting their art stolen by ten year olds because only THEY own the copyright to lemurs/huskies/redpandas/whatever, so they delete everything and make a new devianTART account. See: Aayatomi | Amberdrake | CatrinaTheDemon | Caylin | Charles-wolfman | David Gonterman | DJ-Leorina | Djfox | Dragomike | Dragonmorph | Fatferaligatr | Hhhippo | HMO | Hol Tiger | Kecharana | Kiminess | Knuffy | Krensada | Kuwaizair | Mitsusei | Muzz | SilenceGotttlos | Two-Ton-Neko | Vanillakitsune | Werechu | Zeriara | InSaNe-REYNARD
Also: FireGoron vs deviantART - a giant and really stupid war between dA and FireGoron over copywrites and other bullshit.

The Cosplayer (Imbicilae in Costumus)

These TARTlets are actually stupid enough to get a professional photographer to take pictures of their fantastic costumes their comatose grandmother made them. The average age of the cosplayer is 24. Not surprisingly, some cosplayers give up their heterosexuality to fit in with their chosen character, and, knowing many TARTlets, will give up theirs to be like their idols. Too bad they don't have a professional photog.

Unless you're a famous cosplayer of EPIC WIN, you can attract every pornographer photographers armed with HEUGE cameras to shoot you more than OJ Simpson can. A perfect example for this kind of cosplayer is Alodia or blackmage9, another coswhore who is freakingly famous in her country and also some sort of a celebrity in the internet. Alodia is about to dominate the world with her "kawaii" (a.k.a. sexual charm) talent to seduce every stalking fucktards so they could buy her prints and bid all of her used shitload stuffs.

A subset of this TARTlet is the The Poseur (Passuer imagica Thuivery) whom is stupid enough to either steal a set of images from the same cosplayer (preferably famous or in professionally made attire), or try to combine several different cosplayers, irregardless of nationality, body type, facial features, or even gender, and try to claim them as their own. And people will actually be duped into this, leaving rave comments and expressing their like of the supposed user's "talents."

The Popular Ass (Popularium asinus)

Deviants who have more than a million pageviews and as a result, have their heads stuck up their ass. They're usually this popular because their galleries are full of Kingdom Hearts, Sonic, Furry, Disney, Super Smash Bros., Anime, Narutard and hentai "fanart" and they regularly threaten to leave about thirty times per week.

Criticizing on their page will result an immediate attack by their retarded fanbase, which shows that Deviantart is a place full of idiots and fail. See: Amuria | Azuzephre | Bleedman | HitmanN | [kitten-chan] | KyraShangea | Snapesnogger | Sonicrocksmysocks | Ramy | Teruchan | Vanillakitsune | Zeriara | SigurdHosenfeld | Xiao-Feng-Fury|YaoiGoddessKeale

The Emo Poet (Plagiralus emotalis)

This is an example of heartwarming, tearjerking poetry.
This is an example of heartwarming, tearjerking poetry.

These are the people too stuck up to bother with either Myspace or Live Journal, because they believe they are artistic (When in reality they are autistic.). They can often be found redistributing copypasta from vampirefreaks trying to seem hardcore. A recently discovered relative of this species is Monglus Canus, commonly know as the Dogmongler. See: Poeticirony

The Emographer (Vidarae filia emotalis)

Similar to the Emo Poet, these deviants deem themselves superior to their MySpace/LiveJournal counterparts, but does not differ a lot from their roots as they enjoy posting pictures of them cutting themselves and then sucking up all of the pity that the internets has to offer.


The HXC Moshgrapher (br00talis XXXila)

Moar 13-year-old boys who who upload photographs of themselves and their HXC mosh pit crew fighting ghosts at local hardcore shows. Normally stolen from Destroy All Lines, These emo zubs will threaten with gang rape and epic flaming if their lens flare spin kick br00tal XXX mic steal pics are criticized. Note the sweat, blood (from razors) and semen on the lens.

ED Crew (Anonymus lulzae)

The lurkers of devianTART who dig up all the glorious lulz and tell the truth about this place. Be they banned or spurned, these dedicated men and women pursue their intended targets with CONSTANT VIGILANCE and UNWAVERING DEDICATION. See Also The Lulz Organization

Cheerleaders of Anonymous (Anonymus lulzae pussia)

Some users of devianTART, being namefags of sorts, fear teh banhammer, but will indirectly participate, or at least cheer, from the sidelines as frontline Anonymous kill the faggotry with fire. True Anons are encouraged to rape them until they stop being pussies and join in the fun. Some even act as if they knew anonymous all their lives. A good example would be tamikorei, as seen here [2]



Levels of TARTlets

lolly demonstrates where Subscribers money goes
lolly demonstrates where Subscribers money goes

Member

Also known as "normal" TARTlets, they populate even the deepest pits of devianTART, and are mostly whiny little bitches, furries and fags that post everything about their lives in their journal everyday. This group mostly consists of retards who think that creating shit fan art every single day of their pathetic lives will make them famous someday. They also hope to be promoted to a senior member or admin, but don't realise that even devianTART does not accept retards.

Subscribers

Although rare, this level contains the closest thing to real artists that devianTART has. These people are fucktarded enough to give devianTART money in return for sex, obviously, they are devianTART's main income. The adminz treat them as if they were their children, protecting them from anything that might harm them; but once they realize the truth and shows signs of it, the moderators will drop the banhammer on them before they could spread the truth. Once banned the TARTlets will beg, scream and cry for their money back, only to be told to STFU and GTFO.No longer true. Being a subscriber now means you're immune to bans.

Beta Testers

Being also subscribers, beta testers are a source of devianTART's income, but instead of getting more goodies than the subscribers, they actually work for devianTART by testing their new features. The only reason anyone would choose to be a Beta Tester would be for the symbol.

Senior members

A typical admin and Senior Member relationship
A typical admin and Senior Member relationship

Senior Members are really old people that have been members of devianTART for at least 100 years or who were once upon a time adminz. Nobody really likes seniors, they pretend to like them in order to themselves become seniors. The rules are simple on how to become a Senior Member on devianTART, mostly because the adminz were too fucking lame to come up with anything more original than ripping off Fight Club [3].

There are two types of Senior Member on devianTART: The Attention Whores who think they are PILLARS OF THE CUMMUNITY and must sexually involve themselves in everything and everyone. These members are easily noticeable by their appearance everywhere and their constant positive attitude towards everything. They would smile, even in the face of nigger who was about to rape them and steal their car.

Then there are the Internet tough guys who like to run around and troll everything they can find. You'll often see them in the forums or chatrooms telling people to "fuck off" or "take the knot". But the moment one of their adminz friends is attacked, they rush in head first. These Senior Members are the worst kind, since no matter what they do, or whoever gets butthurt they will not be banned because they perform various sexual acts for the adminz.

Comments and Favorites

You'll see this when giving a deviant an opinion.
You'll see this when giving a deviant an opinion.
Commenting on a deviation means giving a completely dishonest opinion on it - if the deviation happens to be just a pile of shit that one's one on MSPaint, the comments it receives usually say 'I dig your style' or 'This is so awesome FAV'D++'. Meanwhile, a Favorite is when a deviant can't be assed to write at least one word.
devianTARTS love helpful criticism...
devianTARTS love helpful criticism...
...especially their fans, who have the compulsion to provide insightful feedback.
...especially their fans, who have the compulsion to provide insightful feedback.
They even write journals about how thankfull they are.
They even write journals about how thankfull they are.
No, really, they do and shout it proudly.
No, really, they do and shout it proudly.
When devianTART added the ability for users to hide comments on their page, trolling the site became at least 100 times less fun.
When devianTART added the ability for users to hide comments on their page, trolling the site became at least 100 times less fun.
Another way for devianTARTS to express their thanks for helpful criticism.
Another way for devianTARTS to express their thanks for helpful criticism.
A Christian Tartlet telling an artist that they appreciate the artist's opinion about Narutards.
A Christian Tartlet telling an artist that they appreciate the artist's opinion about Narutards.

Commenting the Wrong Way

"I must say, this is a striking image. It's rich with color and such a bright atmosphere, I just can't take my eyes off of it. However, I think you might want to improve on the way you drew the girl's hands, one of them is slightly bigger than the other. Also, you may need to consider more about the light sources. While the light really brings it to life, it's coming from the wrong direction. Setting that aside, I think it's a beautiful picture. Keep up with the good work!"

For more examples on commenting incorrectly: Because DevianTart is a serious business

For b&-worthy commentary, see an epic thread. In an unfortunate but common display of typical TARTlet stupidity, the original lulzy conversation that ended in ban is now littered with idiotic commentary. But through the magic of the internets, it has been recovered.

<!toph-blind-love> (on the original unfunny deviation) :( not funny try harder, jew

<*randombabe> EY nthn wrong with jews

<!toph-blind-love> yeah they caused our economy to crumble and our negros to have self esteem issues.

<*randombabe> im a jew THANK u very much. half of my family is jewish. they all rock. 1 of my awesome
friends is african american. im an activist. wow i just broke all your stereotypes

<!toph-blind-love> They may rock but they've ruined all that the rest of us have worked for for thousands
of years, and they killed raptor jesus right before he invented lazers. Your black friend secretly hates
you and your fambly and wants to die.

<*randombabe> um. wtf? not all jews r bad. your judging us because of people that are waaaaay dead now.
And no she doesn't, she rocks.

<!toph-blind-love> no, I'm judging jews because of the current ones. The dead jews are bad too, but all
they can do now is rot and complain and become zombies. She doesn't rock, she just pretends to. She
really wants to strangle you with barbed wire and punch you with a baby. Just ask her.

<*randombabe> um. how can you say things about me if you don't even know me? or my friend. sure, we 
have our differences, but she rocks. and how can she pretend to rock? she likes to hang out with me,
she says so herself.

<!toph-blind-love> I do know you, I watch you on my magic spy camera of JUSTICE. She pretends to
rock by buying all the latest clothes and being down with the homies with her bling bling and all
dat yo, but she lies. She really haets yew wif all her harts.

<*randombabe> um. wat? >.> shes shyer than me and has a low self esteem. >.>U

<!toph-blind-love> SEE? I TOLD YOU THAT JEWS MADE NEGROS HAVE LOW SELF ESTEEM. Now you should listen to me
moar often or I'll have to cut choo. You wanna hand me that infant? I'm starved. 

<*randombabe> WTF? She had it before I even met her. WTF. Kay, I'm in a good mood so I don't wanna ruin
that by talking to you. Buhbye

successful troll is successful.


Commenting the Right Way

  • "cool."
  • "First comment!"
  • "OMG SOOO CUTE!! *hugs*
  • "AAAAAAAAAAH THIS IS SO WRONG!!!ONE". (Add more than 20 emoticons of your choice for full effect.)
  • "SUGOI KAWAII DESU NE!"
  • "This bad bad! But I like cause is sexy. They go bed and sex! :D "
  • "Yaoi! Yay! But Inuyasha is mine!"
  • "I love that show!"
  • ":)"
  • :bounce:
  • "A++++++ WOULD FAVE AGAIN"


Doesn't have to change a thing. To speak otherwise would be SPAM.
Doesn't have to change a thing. To speak otherwise would be SPAM.

Comments are not private

Your comments are viewable by anyone and everyone. Private conversations should be exchanged through notes. Some users don't understand this simple concept and the outcome can turn out very amusing

Just take a look at these two sick fucks, !EmperorRemus and !MetallicaCooler having cybersex in a public forum.


Cybersex lol


Standard story and comment

Story extract:

“Come on, it’s just a little while from here,” Xavier said helping me off his motorcycle. I put the helmet on the empty seat and followed him into the dark woods. We stopped at a small clearing and Xavier took my hand,

Comment:

i wud tap xavier much, sounz liek she haev big breats

Artisit Comment:

xavier is a guy

Comment: OMG, no hes not! artistic license!

Pageviews

Attention Whores can drop $20 to have their userpage spammed until 500 idorts click it! This is a real ad made by the devART admins, by the way.
Attention Whores can drop $20 to have their userpage spammed until 500 idorts click it! This is a real ad made by the devART admins, by the way.
LOL WUT

Asides from drawing animu, the first and foremost important thing to tartlets are those things called page views. As mentioned before, the main DA userbase are emofur girls who's most important commodity to their survival is attention. From this equation we can see that page views and attention are interchangeable:

In order to get the most pageviews, consider posting porn, this new account accumulated 2800 pageviews in just 3 hours after registering.
In order to get the most pageviews, consider posting porn, this new account accumulated 2800 pageviews in just 3 hours after registering.

Page views = Attention = Liquid sex

TO GET A LOT OF PAGEVIEWS, FAVE A LOT OF SHIT AND AFTER GETTING A THOUSAND "thnx for the fave :3" FUCK MESSAGES, DELETE ALL OF THAT SHIT!

Pageviews are a terrible drug that these girls will fight each other for by any means necessary including all sorts of lies, trickery and treachery. Page views cause most of the drama on DA, and push these tartlets to pull all sorts of stupid shit such as faking a mass suicide. It is also scientific fact that tartlets physically cannot reach orgasm unless they gain over 9000 page views on their traced fanart. One even made a detailed guide on how to be a more efficient attention whoring cunt. This guide, however, contains far more effective tactics and strategies for obtaining pageviews. Of course, if you're one of the 99% of human beings who are too fucking lazy to survive TL;DR ramblings, check out this submission for a brief explaination on how to become popularrr on devianTART.

Forums

just ignore
just ignore
the average forum drama
the average forum drama

DevianTART also has forums, where a lot of the drama takes place, since a forum is one of the best ways to get your opinion heard and subsequently be flamed for having such a retarded opinion. There are at least 100 different forums, and you will be expected to post in the correct one or risk being mocked and/or banned.

The forum system used by devianTART is retarded and full of bugs. It is also impossible to read more than one page of forum threads for some reason.

  • devianTART Status - Admins post in here to tell everyone about all the new features and bugs they've added to the site.
  • Advertising Status - Noone posts in here, but presumably it's intended to be for whining about the ads.
  • Deviants - This is the forum that would usually be called something like "miscellaneous" or "general discussion" on any other site, but they called it Deviants because they were trying to be original. This is where all the shit nobody cares about goes.
  • dAmn - Supposed to be for discussing the devianTART chat system, but since everybody's a retard they just post off-topic threads that get locked.
  • Deviation ThumbShare - Where people go to whore out their art in exchange for pageviews and vapid comments.
  • Suggestions - AKA "ask the admins to let you post porn.
  • Welcome Center - Where the n00bs go in a pathetic attempt to make friends. Do your civic duty and tell them that nobody likes them.
  • Prints Status, Prints General, Prints Suggestions, Prints ThumbShare - Something to do with money.
  • Art Scene - Go here to whine about your art sucking, whine about the popularity of art you don't like, or generally whine about art. Reasonable discussion not tolerated, although that could go for all devianTART forums.
  • Politics - Stupid political and/or religious arguments go here. Entirely populated by people who don't know anything about politics, religion or anything beyond their back yard.
  • Praise - At first sight, seems to be the only vaguely positive forum, but your thread will quickly become a discussion about whether whatever it is you're praising deserves to be praised or not.
  • Projects - Ask somebody to draw all your art for you.
  • Rip Reporting - Come and whine about someone stealing your Sonic recolour.
  • Website Promotion - More whoring, this time of your website.
  • Job Offers, Job Services - Moar money.
  • Books - Harry Potter spoilers go here. Also the one place were anime fantards can live in peace. Sorta.
  • Gaming - Talk about how hueg the Xbox is.
  • Movies - Harry Potter spoilers go here. Redundant topics redundant topics also.
  • Sports - On the internets? You must be imagining things.
  • Hardware - "My SLI configuration doesn't allow my Wacom to interface with PS!!" More machine code.
  • Software - Talk about some warez you downloaded.

The Popularity

Popularity is a serious business on devianTART, but it is also a matter or life and death! All tartlets were happy until 2008. They all had a facepalm after 2007 ended.

Ever since the new fucking year 2008 began, a new popularity system has been added to pleeeze all the tartlets. But the opposite happened, and almost all camwhores hate it, as well as popular narutards such as Mikutashi.

How it happens? Basically, you post a shitty picture of any character and if it gets 30 faves within 20mins you will be on the front page!!!1!11. This seems to happen mostly with porn pictures.

Post pictures of shaved pussies, get on the front pages popular section and become fucking famous!
Post pictures of shaved pussies, get on the front pages popular section and become fucking famous!
An easy way to get popular and as many pageviews as you like is to watch tons and tons of artists who have completely SHIT artwork, so thinking that you actually love their artwork, they flock to your page to say "thank you for the watch omg im so honored", and they watch you back in return. Once they watch you back, remove them from your watchlist and pretend you never watched them at all. Success-and Jag1 of devianTART is mighty good at this move.
An easy way to get popular and as many pageviews as you like is to watch tons and tons of artists who have completely SHIT artwork, so thinking that you actually love their artwork, they flock to your page to say "thank you for the watch omg im so honored", and they watch you back in return. Once they watch you back, remove them from your watchlist and pretend you never watched them at all. Success-and Jag1 of devianTART is mighty good at this move.

For the tartlets with pageviews over 9000 it doesn't even matter, since they get only the lulz, but for the already popular tartlets, it means a a new challenger appearing. To prevent their reputation, the tartlets have made objection stamp to bring back the old popular system.

A protest againts the new popular system. Or maybe againts  mudkipz?!
A protest againts the new popular system. Or maybe againts mudkipz?!
All tartlets want the old system back! bringitbakplzkthnxbi!
All tartlets want the old system back! bringitbakplzkthnxbi!

The same problem has effected the search engine. Just a few faves (1) is enough to make you be on the first page! You win!

3 faves mean ultimate popularity! But they also ruin teh mudkipz! EPIC!
3 faves mean ultimate popularity! But they also ruin teh mudkipz! EPIC!

The DevianTART song

46 Rules of DevianTART

  1. DeviantArt is serious business
  2. One day, I’ll be a great manga artist
  3. The longer the journal entries, the better my art becomes
  4. The more flashing friend icons, the better my art becomes
  5. Tracing and recoloring is the same as using a reference
  6. Blurry MySpace pictures of myself, taken without even using the timer mode are art
  7. Photoshop filters are the same as photography skill
  8. Lens flare makes EVERYTHING better!
  9. Critics are only critical because they are jealous of my stick figures
  10. All male game or anime characters are in love with each other
  11. All characters split into two versions when entering DeviantArt: normal and furry, and the furry version is always better than the regular one – cat ears are obligatory
  12. All characters have child-like alter-egos, which I prefer, but not because I’m a paedophile
  13. People don’t know there’s a Full View function, so I must inform them of it, and demand that they use it every time I upload something, no matter how crappy, by commenting “FULL VIEW PLEASE!!!!!!”
  14. The whole world is only waiting for one thing: seeing me naked
  15. It’s art if I say it is!
  16. 2,000 pageviews means I have to make a kawaiiiii picture thanking people for looking at my other kawaiiii pictures, preferably with as many hearts as possible
  17. Being on DeviantArt means I am special
  18. It’s not paedophilia when I draw it
  19. Comments any less positive than “OMG awesome!” must be considered flames, and even the slightest bit of criticism is worth starting a fight and getting banned over
  20. The DeviantArt comments system is a great chatbox, especially if it’s someone else’s page!
  21. There is nothing wrong with inflation art
  22. If I fave one of your pictures, you have to fave one of mine, no matter how terrible I am, otherwise you’re ungrateful
  23. Everyone is interested in my private life, so I must spam my journal full of uninteresting junk (see #1)
  24. If people troll my account due to a mention in ED, I must throw a tantrum, threaten to hex them, say they’ve fallen into my trap, bawl to the moderators and/or threaten legal action and claim lawyers are already on the case
  25. I have more pageviews, therefore my art is better than yours
  26. Making alternate accounts praising my main account is a brilliant tactic
  27. Copy-pasting an “I like your art” comment on loads of Random Deviant pages without looking at the art is a brilliant tactic
  28. Making a thread in the ThumbShare forum, dedicated only to me with the sole intention of throwing my own art into everyone's faces is a brilliant tactic
  29. No matter how crappy my art is, and regardless of the fact that no one would hang it on their wall to save their lives, I must still make all my art available as Prints
  30. The human body is beautiful and never pornographic, even if it’s being penetrated anally by a furry’s cock
  31. My profile icon flashes or moves, that means I’m a better artist than you
  32. Submitting Deviations without commenting anything more than, “me again”, “lol”, “...” or “meh” is artistic
  33. Poetry isn’t artistic if it doesn’t have elementary-school rhymes and isn’t about razors or angst or slitting wrists
  34. We’ve made porn of it. No exceptions.
  35. There will be fav w/o comment drama. No exceptions.
  36. Art memes are fun, and when they say I must tag three people, I must always tag EVERYBODY!!!11!
  37. The cool kids set themselves to invisible
  38. I must threaten everyone who might possibly steal my art with physical violence, even though I’m behind a computer
  39. Snape is perfectly capable of getting pregnant
  40. I AM Asian. Really. Can’t you see the painted cat eyes and the V-sign I make with my fingers?
  41. My Desktop picture must contain a World of Warcraft-icon, and the wallpaper may under no circumstance have the correct aspect ratio
  42. I paid money for my account, so everything I made has just become