Sweden
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Sweden is a country that never became famous in the Viking age because of their lack of pillaging other countries. They were mostly stationary pussyfaggots who traded and spread peace and harmony and buttlove. They were the Hippie-vikings of the north, and saw it as their call to spread falukorv and surströmming across the world. The swedes are known to be the single cause of the Black Plague as they invoked the wrath of Allah with their faggotry. The swedes are responsible for ruining global culture with ABBA, Basshunter, caramelldansen, Ace of Base and similar faggotry.
Sweden is known for being a matriarchy, ruled by hot girls pegging Swedish "men". They are also known for being [1]total pussies; ever since they got a French king they have never went to war ever again, even during WW2 when they were in the middle of the battle they didn't do shit, except helping the nazis invade Norway. The swedes compensate with this their lack of action by peacefully colonizing Mallorca and Thailand. Just like with the black plague, they invoked the wrath of Allah and caused the Tsunami after Thailand had been flooded with obnoxious pig-skinned Swedes on child-sex vacation.
Getting drunk and having massive gay orgies for the lulz is a Swedish tradition. A typical Swedish midsummer-festival involves getting into a boat full of men and booze, to honor their ancestors, failing and generally being pussies in England/France for the lulz, and returning with massive amounts of dildos. Bringing back all the hawt girls you can find is a tradition that no longer exist, due to the invasion by the gay albino niggers from France.
Sweden has royalty, even though they don't really do shit. The current royal family consists of the King (or Knig as he calls himself), a dyslectic dumbfuck whose only achievement in life was that he crawled out of the right pussy. The queen, a German nazi that cannot speak Swedish and annually spends 3/5th of the Swedish budget on plastic surgery. And then we have their 3 children, all of them male, practically making them all princes, but two of them - realizing they were transexuals - had a sex change thus making giving sweden two post op princesses, one that turned out ugly and one that became hot.
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Facts
- All Swedes work for IKEA to make furniture for fags.
- Swedish weapon industry is the largest white flag producer in the world. White flag is also the national flag of Sweden, incase someone decides to attack.
- If you decide to wave the Swedish flag, you are racist.
- The Vikings were part Norwegian and part gods.
- Sweden is a pussywhipped nation where a man who is not psychologically a castrate feminazi will never get laid. (Note: any man who would not accept being a psychologically castrate feminazi if it meant he'd get laid is a faggot.)
- Sweden is full of Arabs who have escaped the Middle-East. Not only do the Arabs make all food in Sweden, but are the only breeders in the country as well as Swedish girls want arab cock, because they want to flush their genes down the toilet.
- Swedes hate all other Scandinavian countries.
- Swedish girls are insanely dumb. Unlike normal "women", they don't require the boring flirt-part.
- Sweden has been pwned by every single Scandinavian country at different points in history.
- Swedish Army currently holds the record of fastest surrendering. In an exercise in March 2005 a whole battalion of swedes surrendered in 0.36 seconds, leaving the French far behind.
- Sweden hates you (Unless you're a hawt Male sex-machine). [2]
- All Swedes are homosexuals, have you ever seen their football team? GRÆT LULZ.
- Sweden is permanently Doing it Wrong!!1!
The other parts of Scandinavia
- Denmark- All Swedes hate Denmark. Denmark has been buttraped by Sweden throughout history. And Danish people STILL think Swedes can understand them and get really shitty when they can't despite the fact that NO Danish person has ever met a Swede that can.
- Iceland - Broke fucks.
- Norway - Rich fucks. Norway is also known as the West Coast of Sweden with oil and shit, making Norway a refugee camp for young Swedes seeking fortune. They always come home empty-handed however, as Norwegians have standards Swedes cannot possibly live up to in any way, and therefor Swedes never find gainful employment outside their home country, except maybe Sierra Leone or something where they can make flat-packed coffee-tables out of small children and cow-dung.
- Finland - Finland is Sweden's bitch. They even have Swedish as their second major (and their only reasonable) language,
Famous Swedes
- Ingvar Kamprad: Rich fuck who decided to make a fortune off peoples imagined ability to build their own furniture.
- King Karl Gustaf: Descended from a general of Napoleon. Provides Sweden with much needed lulz and known to be dumber than even the dumbest American.
- Pornstars: Most common profession of Swedish girls.
- ABBA: The pride of Sweden, save for having the country with most homosexuals.
- BASSHUNTER!!!!: The biggest hero of Sweden. Suffers of Tourette's Syndrome. Loved by Sweden and hated by the rest of the world save Great Britain. If he ever returns to Sweden he will be greeted as a national hero.
- Skwisgaar Skwigelf, being as Swedish as a Swede can be. Tall, blond, blue-eyed and rather stupid
Historically Accurate Representation of Sweden and Its Culture
Gallery
 This is true! |
 Typical Swedish woman |
 The princess of Sweden and her polymerically enhanced breasts |
 A national icon |
 Official mascot of Sweden |
 The equivalent of Garfield, only less lulzy and more emo. In this strip he whines about life. |
See Also
