Superman 64
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Contents |
Overview
This game single handedly paved the way for the N64, Nintendo and gay fanfiction in general. Superman 64 raised the bar (or should I say floating cock ring) for every game preceding it, thereby creating a time paradox akin to when Superman flew around the world really, really, really fast to make things go backwards.
In Superman 64 you'll control the main hero and protagonist, Superman, a 35 year old man wearing his underwear on the outside. From the moment you gain control of Superman you'll feel invigorated with the incredible sense of power you have over him; like a dominatrix about to shove a 12" strap-on up her slave's ass. Just by looking at his movements you can tell a plentiful amount of work went into motion capturing for this game, using Christopher Reeve's actual pinky-movement and rolling action.
Pictures
The graphics look like a two dollar whore's cunt secretions. There is even an extra feature that I have yet to see in ANY OTHER GAME TO DATE. Superman 64 showcases a unique 'fag engine' which coats your environment with a highly sticky substance.
The Fucking Fog
Because the N64 was, in technological terms, a piece of shit, it could only shows so many blocky, polygonal models at once and developers often resorted to filling their levels with a thick fog. Good games, such as Turok, made it a part of the plot and environment. But since this was before Myspace and S64's developers needed some way else to vent their retardation on the world, they fucked this idea right up.
Noises
Music in S64 as well, was done very homosexually. All the music was orchestrated and played live, while actors in Superman and Lex Luthor outfits had awkward gay sex in front of children. Sounds effects are identical to their real life counterparts, like in the scene where Lois Lane is rolling around in her own fecal matter, my mom rushes into the basement, grabs my cock and yells "WHERE'S THAT HOT BOYFRIEND OF YOURS??" Then I explain to my mom that I was just playing S64 and she is ass raped. Superman 64 has an epic storyline paralleled only by classics such as Big Rigs and Zero Wing. I'm not going to ruin any of the excellent plot but let's just say it would put William Shakespeare to shame.
Conclusion
I HIGHLY advise this game for all people of all ages. It will meet and exceed the standards of gamers and non gamers alike. With excellent replayability and endless fun, Superman 64 will remain a classic that no sane person would give up. Final score: 8.8
Gamespot
Games like Superman 64 usually receive bad reviews all around, however the esteemed reviewers really crossed the mine on this one. A 1.3 is supposed to be reserved only for the worst of the worst, like Halo 3 or pretty much anything for the Wii.
also, cocks
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